Relationships  Discussion Forum

Ok the first part of my story is same old. Very mean in-laws, asked for dowry, messed up my mine and parents mood at the wedding,mil' s insecurity, she passed sarcastic comments and taunts a year later at Bil' s wedding for getting less dowry...even gave me a concealed threat that she will curse me if i try to take her son away from her.
Basically both her sons, my hubby and his elder bro live abroad..here in USA. She wants my hubby to go back to India but not older son because hubby will get jobs there whereas older son is pretty useless and has married an indian american and lives close to her family.
Now the main problem and the reason why I am writing this query:
I went to india 3 months back and stayed with them for almost a month with hubby.She has suddenly become nice to me at least in front of everyone.No in fact even when alone she hardly passed any bad comments this time. She is very happy mainly because we have got her her visa and are inviting her here to be with us for sometime(fil and mil)
I donno if this is the reason she felt more secure or just that she has changed or what?
All I know is that I made the biggest mistake of my life or that is what I think I did.
I am a very simple person and its difficult for me to be rude to others but I went ahead and got really close with her and fil. I gave them sooo much bhav i cannot believe it. I was so damn sweet to them, always telling them everything is theirs, home in US is theirs, they are always welcome and even...hold your breath..cried for them before leaving. You might think either I am an actress to do all this or I am very naive and fell in love with them. The answer is neither. I was not really acting, just being nice because I wasn' t given a reason to be bad and no i have not fallen for thwir change in attitude. I still cannot forget what that woman has done to my marriage.She has not left one opportunity to bhadkau my hubby against me and my parents, she has commented on my looks, my walk, my behavior, my upbringing everthing and I cannot believe that she has changed as person. What I think is: She has understood that I am here to stay. She knows that being bad to me is putting her in bad books and that I am the type of person who can totally ignore her and not care about it...and to top that my hubby supports me and he does not bother if i dont call her and be goody with her. I think she knows all this and knows that hubby loves me and that her only entry into our lives is by being nice to everyone. When she was bad to me I used to completely ignore her and continue with my life.
Also now when she comes here she knows she has an advantage if we get along..she can stay longer mayve. One more reason could be..she wants us to return soon to india and if I hate her she knows I can delay the process so that I can avoid her.
Well...so my question is I am going to india again and i seriously repent being so nice to her last time. Not that anything happened much after that except for a couple of comments here and there which is normal for her.
I want to put her in her place but I know that when i do that she tries to ruin the peace in my house. Besides that now my hubby has started seeing this good side of her and he has started wondering why i haven' t fallen for her yet.
I want to know if anyone has gone thro this and what you think about the situation and mainly how should i behave during this trip.
Thanks so
Fazila ambar replied. fazila,

now that ur MIL is gud 2 u. U b gud 2 her 2. I dont c a prob with that. never mind what intentions she has behind her sudden change of attitude towards you. The bottomline is that she' s being nice, so you should reciprocate. Like priya said, most of the times in old age the main concern of in-laws is the fear of being left alone....maybe thats why she' s being different. enjoy this phase while it lasts!! Priya replied. If she is nice now , what is the problem ? When you return if she still is the same nice person ..you too be good to her or else you know how to ignore her !!! So what is bothering you .. Her sudden change in behaviour ??
I have seen such behaviour when they are getting old or fall ill..they tend to get scared that in old age they will end up alone ...with no son or DIL with them if they continue beahving badly ... So they decide to mend their way ...
If its so .. its good for all .
You too be nice to her and maintain cordial relationships ..