Relationships  Discussion Forum

I ' ve been married for five years now.Before marriage my idea of happy marriage was conditioned by the so romantic on screen hindi films.But reality for me was quite different.My hubby though outwardly very modern, inwardly is completely shy in even communicating with me because of joint family.When he comes from office in late evening,he first talks to his brother and kids.then he sticks to the TV screen ,then newspaper and late at night falls asleep without even feeling the need to talk to me, leave aside sex.I get irritated at this and start literally waking him to talk to me.this ends in usual fights,his angry outlets and my tears.There is no romance in this married life.He always wishes to sleep with our daughter.I feel i ' ve sacrificed and adjusted too much in this marriage like adjusting to the joint family,killing my independence,like a good D-I-L ,handing over more than 80 of my earnings to my M-I-L.He sometimes even cares for me but it is rare.He just likes cracking jokes all the time and expects from me the same.I feel i am like a climber that needs love(in an expressive manner) all the time that i never get.Due to all these things i feel i should run away or get myself transferred elsewhere since the fights are increasing day by day.Please tell me how to change my husband' s attitude towards me??? Ineed love from him.He says he has spoken to all his friends and they have similar experiences with their wives that' s why no one should ever go for marriage.I want a romantic married life with my hubby SUMAN replied. My Dear sister I had gone through the same & did the same what these friends are telling but in my luck something special was prepared it is not to scare you but to tell you JAGTE RAHO as my husband was having extra marital affairs.So dear please keep an eye on his everydays routine what all he does whole day & goes where dont let him know that u r keeping an eye on him.
BEST OF LUCK ! SUMAN replied. My Dear sister I had gone through the same & did the same what these friends are telling but in my luck something special was prepared it is not to scare you but to tell you JAGTE RAHO as my husband was having extra marital affairs.So dear please keep an eye on his everydays routine what all he does whole day & goes where dont let him know that u r keeping an eye on him.
BEST OF LUCK ! SUMAN replied. My Dear sister I had gone through the same & did the same what these friends are telling but in my luck something special was prepared it is not to scare you but to tell you JAGTE RAHO as my husband was having extra marital affairs.So dear please keep an eye on his everydays routine what all he does whole day & goes where dont let him know that u r keeping an eye on him.
BEST OF LUCK ! smriti replied. dear rattle,
i was always a silent reader of this site.but ur query made me post my 1st message here. i feel really bad for u. i dont know why these men get married if they dont want to be wid their wives....they just ruin a woman' s life.
in pscycology they say that as much as u give love & importance to a person especially men , they move away from u. once u start ignoring them they' ll come behind u.you r give lot of importance to ur husband, begging him to talk to u & going after him even if he is ignoring u.thats why he is taking u for granted. plz stop doing that for a while sweety. show that u give a damm about him. show him that ur much happier without him.keep doing ur own stuffs even if he is around u. even if he talks to u just answer to the point him, & start doing ur own stuffs. take care of ur kid, meet friends, watch TV, read books, do something on ur own & keep urself busy. u start neglecting him now. dont force him to talk to u while going to bed. u also just sleep without talking to him. show that u' ve changed & it doesnt matter to u if he talks to u or not.do that for a while & see.i' m sure he' ll only come back to talk to u.men have lot of ego' s.when they r ignored they cant take it & come after u to make sure u care abt them.
plz do this. dont give up ur self respect for anything. u have already done enough for him & his family. now its his turn. there should always be equal love & respect between husband & wife. anything one sided is not good.
i hope God give u strength to correct all this.
hope this helps u atleast to a certain extent
God bless u
take care Krushna replied. Try doing this. Dont go after him at all, try to live for your daughter for a while .Keep your desires aside temporarily and see what is his reaction.Show no interest in him just like he does to you. Show him you r indifferent to his attention. Give him space for some time. Then see after some days he might be the one seeking you.