Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am a silent reader, but now going through tough situation, I got married 2 years ago in India, I am well settle on Toronto, with a house, car. I had these things before marriage, I use to live with my family, me and my sister purchased the house together and sponsored my mom and other two sisters and I don’t have dad. We all splitted the expenses and lived peacefully until I got married.
My husband is the only son, his parents are separated. After he came here we moved to 2nd part and separate part of the house (same house), but he will stop talking to me for 10days and then comes to normal, I spoke to his mother she said its normal for him, he use to do that in India too. He use to love me a lot, so do i. My family always wanted to mind there own business wanted to leave us alone but he insisted to share one kitchen he said he always missed family and now he got family he cant live alone. So we welcomed his wish, my sisters loved him as a brother even tied him rakhi, as we don’t have brother he does not have sister. We still lived separated with different phone, tv, computer and everything but same kitchen. We couldn’t spent much time together when he came because of my schedule, I use to leave home early and come back late, Sunday was only my day off.

I created huge problems, last year, and my family moved out to different house, I purchased my sister’s share and paid her, went well. After that we use to visit each other almost everyday with every ones wish, my husband and sister use to study together. Now I am pregnant, still have all responsibilities of house mortgage and everything my husband does do much contribution, but now he becomes rude to me, he does not go to my parents place anymore which is fine with me, I don’t go much either, even though I need support now in cooking and cleaning I do everything by my own, he does not help, I work full time, still he will say everyday he need separation, or divorce. He is going to move out. He doesn’t leave either. I spoke to his mom (she is very nice) he never talked to her about this, she says he can’t even think like this. If I talk to him he will never response, talk to me so rudely, verbally abusive. Weekend or evening I spent watching tv or sitting alone, he has no feeling for baby. If I go out to my mom place to have some relief then I will yell at me saying I just married him and made him show piece, if I stay home cook he doesn’t even care, never talk. Yesterday he told me he’s going to leave soon, I don’t understand what to do???? He use to do all this every 2 months or so for 5-10days, that he will stop taking to everyone but not its worst, I cannot take this depression during pregnancy, he is going to India for month in april. I always try to talk to him but he never response.
Krushna replied. I feel u shud be firm with him, instead of depending on his whims and fancies, u shud say firmly what you want and if he is not responding, tell him to get out of your house. You married him and in marriage both partners shud have equal voice. Dont fall a prey to his ways, he is just manipulating you. Show him that you can live life happily even without him, you have got a whole family by ur side. See how he reacts. Maybe Barking dogs seldom bite,maybe true in his case. Sanjana replied. Have you tried to find out what is the cause for his anger? depression?.May be he suffering from depression by parents separation.Tell his mom to talk to him find why he is acting like this?.May be marriage counciling might help.But if it continue like this..wait till baby comes, he might change gradually after seeing baby.