Relationships  Discussion Forum

We both me and my husband dont want to call both my parent or in-laws, but dont know how to tell them. Can any one suggest? Its my first baby. And i am not at all comfortable with my MIL.
I can some how convince my mother and she understands, but my MIL if my husband says also she dominates ..HELP ME Archie replied. Hi Arti,

I am glad that you are likely to call your mother while delivery to get her expert help.

Of course if you both, husband and yourself find it easy to avoid your MIL you can do that. Make sure that he also find this idea easy.

At this moment, first I would guarantee from your mother that she will assist, hold your communications with MIL until you have this confirmation. Once you have your mothers arrival confirmed you can tell MIL will contact later when you two feel it's need. I am sure it's hard from what you say but will be easy as she won't worry much on assitance. Your husband should speak to her and tell her that this is a decision, which he is 50% if not 100% responsible, so if MIL blames that won't be just you, finally he should take some part.
Hey, by the way don't get worried so much you need to think happy and healthy while pregnant.


After that you may gain some knowledge and also realize if you need another assistance. Depending on the situation (after you are delivered baby and mother is back to India) you can decide on calling or not to your MIL. Archie replied. Arti Hi,

You might not be knowing pressure and amount of responsible duties following delivery and this is a primary reasong you are ready to take responsibility by yourself.
I however respect your courage. At the same time want to tell you that this is such a delicate time you need to have assistance from elders. It's only the matter of taking credit by MIL if I understood your message. Let her take that if that's what going to happen.
If you were in India you would probably do nothing but just to watch how everyone force their ideas and wishes on both of you (hubby and yourself).

Bring your mother for a few weeks and your MIL can come later, as your mother is gone back to India. Have this perfectly agreed with your husband and ask him that when he is talking to your MIL he does what you two want for your baby. It's your baby your parents or MIL should respect your decision.

Archie anitha replied. Hi arti,

congrats !!!when are u due....?

what u have written is a confusing matter and needs a lot of wise thought......as its ur first baby you may not be knowing how to take care of the baby and all intially .......u should decide if u can manage things alone before u decide not to get anyone for help....most of the people feel that it would take away their freedom if a third party comes........thats also true...... ..u will be in a discomfortable postion after u r delivery and it will be difficlut to take care of ur baby and urself all alone and if ur husnband is working then he also cannot sit with u all the time .....i feel that u should take a wise decision.....but why are u not comfortable with ur mom? Ur parents will also have a lot of tension if u choose to manage alone ......think twice before u decide.......
take care