Hi, I dont have anyone so I'm putting my feelings down here. I had a love marriage 3 yrs back. My hubby is from other caste. I struggled hard with my paents almost broke my relationship with them to get married, learnt his language so tht i can gel with his family.....yes there are some things that i did not do. Like having bath every morning before going into kitchen, going to toilet without any clothes on(otherwise clothes are considered apavitra), not using slippers at home, not maintaining a cordial relationship with my brother in law who is 5 yrs younger and who stays with us from the very beginning. (My in laws do not live with us, they r in a diff city).
Now 3 yrs down the line such issues have become so big that my husband has told me very plainly that I've to follow his each and every order else I can leave him.
I also had a premature delivery an yr back and had a lot of stress, reason was his family.
He still says that he loves me but says i need to change myself...
The other day his brother also mistreated me and humiliated me in front of him. when i asked my husband was it right? he says if i turn better after all this then it is right.
wonder how can somebody be like this...anyways...i've had enough aof all this and do not want to live any further....was searching for some ways to die that should look like a natural/accidental death, coz i dont want my hubby to suffer and i want that he gets all my insurance money after i die.
i cant talk to my parents abt this...they'll be shattered..i did not have any other mode to vent out my feelings...so m writing in here. sorry for depressing u folks...but i'll not be thr to do it again....bye
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Hi, I dont have anyone so I'm putting my feelings down here. I had a love marriage 3 yrs back. My hubby is from other caste. I struggled hard with my paents almost broke my relationship with them to get married, learnt his language so tht i can gel with his family.....yes there are some things that i did not do. Like having bath every morning before going into kitchen, going to toilet without any clothes on(otherwise clothes are considered apavitra), not using slippers at home, not maintaining a cordial relationship with my brother in law who is 5 yrs younger and who stays with us from the very beginning. (My in laws do not live with us, they r in a diff city).
Now 3 yrs down the line such issues have become so big that my husband has told me very plainly that I've to follow his each and every order else I can leave him.
I also had a premature delivery an yr back and had a lot of stress, reason was his family.
He still says that he loves me but says i need to change myself...
The other day his brother also mistreated me and humiliated me in front of him. when i asked my husband was it right? he says if i turn better after all this then it is right.
wonder how can somebody be like this...anyways...i've had enough aof all this and do not want to live any further....was searching for some ways to die that should look like a natural/accidental death, coz i dont want my hubby to suffer and i want that he gets all my insurance money after i die.
i cant talk to my parents abt this...they'll be shattered..i did not have any other mode to vent out my feelings...so m writing in here. sorry for depressing u folks...but i'll not be thr to do it again....bye
W in D replied. Dear All,
Thanx for giving me so much support and positivism. I did not take the drastic step. Some of you are msitaken that I've a kid, but actually I dont have one. I lost my first baby in a premature delivery.
I'm 30 and working and I've spoken to my H abt it at length. Have got some breather...but i still think that its only for the time being and some time sooner or later once again i'll be standing on this t point.
I know my life is valuable and i know many people love me a lot... including my hubby. Yes he loves me but the problem is that he wants that everyone in his family should also love me.......now to turn good to and true to so many people's expactations is diff and truly speaking here i also have some ego problem. I'm not spotless...
Anyways...I'm trying to put my efforts to atleast ME being good for all. And I'm praying to God...now He is my only saviour. And yes, i'll keep in touch...thanx a ton once again to allo of you.
May God bless you.
VK replied. Death is not the answer. God has given you this life and its your duty to abide by God's wishes. You have no right to take your own or anybody's life. Its a crime. Its a sin.
Give yourself time. Worst come to worst you may leave him. There are thousands of men who have been mistreated by their wives and few of them may be very nice. Go and live with a new friend. A new husband.But never talk of dying as God will punish you in your next birth for taking your own life.
Think of your parents ...... their life would be ruined permanently. Do you want this???
Mahua replied. I am sure that you are not build of such weak stuff. A woman who can fight her parents, the very people who nutured and cared for her for God knows how many years, and win the battle, for not accepting her choice fr life cant be such a weakling! When the time came to fight your own parents you had all the energy and courage in the world, but what happens to you now. Cant you stand up to a person to whom you dont mean much. A person who uses, abuses and humiliates you cannot love you. You are prepared to lay down your life without a fight for such a person but not fight and live for people who love and care for you-your parents and your baby. Imagine how you would feel if your child repeats your act tomorrow, because that is the legacy you will leave behind for the child to follow.
Buck up young lady and fight, just like you fought when you were in love. That time you fought for your boyfriend, now fight for yourself and your baby. And I am sure that you have civilised parents who will forgive you and help you start a new life.
And trust me if you really want to die then die for a worthy cause not for a person who is unworthy even for your lust.
Dont do that replied. Hi,
I have gone through these death thoughts so many times.Please listen. I have 2 kids[aged 2 1/2 and 6 months..].I have lot of problems in life. Still iam living with hope.We have no right to take our life.No one can substitue mothers love. takes care of your kid.
hi replied. dear friend
yes dear, i can understand you. you are having a very hard time. the person whom you think is your world is not understanding you and making you stressed out. yes, that is very miserable. but dear friend, death is not an answer to anything. please, please don't even think about it. i know, you are the one who is going through it everyday, but please dear friend dont think about dying. your life is very much valuable than a marriage. every life is like this dear. one or the other, problems are everywhere. nobody can escape from problems in this life. one tme or other everybody hace to go through that phase. that is the time where we haveto show our courage. we have to go through all these things.
yours is a love marriage, right? talk wth your husband when he is in good mood. tell him what you want in life. you also have a life. each and every person in this world has the right to live their life according to their wish. it is your right girl. why your are thinking about dying and all when somebody is making you unhappy.
first make sure, your hubby know about how you are feeling. teel him how you feel. unless he wll not know. we have to tell them. don't fight. tell him plainly. what all things you cannot adjust, like that. and if you are sure he is not responding positivel;y to you, then take chaarge of your own life. try find a job. be happy. your life is precious. marriage is not what life is all about. if our relation with somebody is a failure that doesn't means the end of world. think properly. you have a lot to do dear. lot to do. and you can. if we have problems, then sure we also have ways to get out of it. we have to find the way out. we must. we cannot escape from our problems by dying. i am sure . these are lessons and we have to learn from it and we have to overcome it. then only we can get away from these problems. so think clearly friend.
you can always write about your problems here. a lot of people are there who loves you a lot. be happy think clearly and find a solution to the problem. real solution. always you should be happy.; ok. also pray always. pray sncerely to GOD. he s there for you always when you are in ened especially.
so write again dear friend. want to hear your reply. love you a lo........t
and praying for you. may GOD give you the courage to overcome all your problems and make you happy .
rajo replied. i can understand that the situation you are facing is very distressing. but you should not lose hope and courage, you have a small baby to care for.you HAVE TO LIVE for this baby of yours .if you feel that living with your husband is being more of a pain than anything else you can always think of separating if nothing works out. but first you need to cool down, take courage and then find a solution to this problem.REMEMBER EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION.
all the best and post back.
ggg replied. Hi dear
Dont think that u r suffering because of ur love marriage.Many females in arrange marriage are also suffering badly. Dont feel alone .We all are here to support u. After marriage ,parents can not do much help .YOU have to be strong n please post back . U can take that drastic step at any time if u want but why not to put all efforts of living life beautifully first .
Have u taken the pleasure of motherhood yet? So why not to do all such things n damn care to ur husband and his family.Husband will get marry very soon once again without any guilt.
Be bold yaar . U r the owner of ur life. Sucessful marriage is not the only condition of life . POst us again.
waiting for ur reply
RANI LAKSHMI replied. I am very sorry due to lack of time.
I will write you soon, don't die.
Death is not a prblem solver, but a problemS creator.
Praying for you
I am deeply concerned... replied. Dear W-in-D,
I am deeply concerned and want you to come back and post again more of your story.
Of course it may not be right on the part of your husband to almost encourage you being insulted by BIL, but no problem is really worth dieing, your life is valuable to your baby and to yourself and you must not allow that being devalued by your H or anybody else. He has almost violated his marriage vows by not protecting your mind and pushing you to this end. But still there are people to talk to and help you to better your lot or at least listen to you and suggest methods to live your life better than what it is now.
Please come back and tell us more. Do you work? How old are you? What kind of job is your H's?
2007-01-15
#1
Name: W in D Subject: Im here
Dear All,
Thanx for giving me so much support and positivism. I did not take the drastic step. Some of you are msitaken that I've a kid, but actually I dont have one. I lost my first baby in a premature delivery.
I'm 30 and working and I've spoken to my H abt it at length. Have got some breather...but i still think that its only for the time being and some time sooner or later once again i'll be standing on this t point.
I know my life is valuable and i know many people love me a lot... including my hubby. Yes he loves me but the problem is that he wants that everyone in his family should also love me.......now to turn good to and true to so many people's expactations is diff and truly speaking here i also have some ego problem. I'm not spotless...
Anyways...I'm trying to put my efforts to atleast ME being good for all. And I'm praying to God...now He is my only saviour. And yes, i'll keep in touch...thanx a ton once again to allo of you.
May God bless you.
2007-01-15
#2
Name: VK Subject: Death is not the answer.
Death is not the answer. God has given you this life and its your duty to abide by God's wishes. You have no right to take your own or anybody's life. Its a crime. Its a sin.
Give yourself time. Worst come to worst you may leave him. There are thousands of men who have been mistreated by their wives and few of them may be very nice. Go and live with a new friend. A new husband.But never talk of dying as God will punish you in your next birth for taking your own life.
Think of your parents ...... their life would be ruined permanently. Do you want this???
2007-01-14
#3
Name: Mahua Subject: You r not a weakling!
I am sure that you are not build of such weak stuff. A woman who can fight her parents, the very people who nutured and cared for her for God knows how many years, and win the battle, for not accepting her choice fr life cant be such a weakling! When the time came to fight your own parents you had all the energy and courage in the world, but what happens to you now. Cant you stand up to a person to whom you dont mean much. A person who uses, abuses and humiliates you cannot love you. You are prepared to lay down your life without a fight for such a person but not fight and live for people who love and care for you-your parents and your baby. Imagine how you would feel if your child repeats your act tomorrow, because that is the legacy you will leave behind for the child to follow.
Buck up young lady and fight, just like you fought when you were in love. That time you fought for your boyfriend, now fight for yourself and your baby. And I am sure that you have civilised parents who will forgive you and help you start a new life.
And trust me if you really want to die then die for a worthy cause not for a person who is unworthy even for your lust.
2007-01-14
#4
Name: Dont do that Subject: Life is more valuable than marriage
Hi,
I have gone through these death thoughts so many times.Please listen. I have 2 kids[aged 2 1/2 and 6 months..].I have lot of problems in life. Still iam living with hope.We have no right to take our life.No one can substitue mothers love. takes care of your kid.
2007-01-13
#5
Name: hi Subject: my dear friend
dear friend
yes dear, i can understand you. you are having a very hard time. the person whom you think is your world is not understanding you and making you stressed out. yes, that is very miserable. but dear friend, death is not an answer to anything. please, please don't even think about it. i know, you are the one who is going through it everyday, but please dear friend dont think about dying. your life is very much valuable than a marriage. every life is like this dear. one or the other, problems are everywhere. nobody can escape from problems in this life. one tme or other everybody hace to go through that phase. that is the time where we haveto show our courage. we have to go through all these things.
yours is a love marriage, right? talk wth your husband when he is in good mood. tell him what you want in life. you also have a life. each and every person in this world has the right to live their life according to their wish. it is your right girl. why your are thinking about dying and all when somebody is making you unhappy.
first make sure, your hubby know about how you are feeling. teel him how you feel. unless he wll not know. we have to tell them. don't fight. tell him plainly. what all things you cannot adjust, like that. and if you are sure he is not responding positivel;y to you, then take chaarge of your own life. try find a job. be happy. your life is precious. marriage is not what life is all about. if our relation with somebody is a failure that doesn't means the end of world. think properly. you have a lot to do dear. lot to do. and you can. if we have problems, then sure we also have ways to get out of it. we have to find the way out. we must. we cannot escape from our problems by dying. i am sure . these are lessons and we have to learn from it and we have to overcome it. then only we can get away from these problems. so think clearly friend.
you can always write about your problems here. a lot of people are there who loves you a lot. be happy think clearly and find a solution to the problem. real solution. always you should be happy.; ok. also pray always. pray sncerely to GOD. he s there for you always when you are in ened especially.
so write again dear friend. want to hear your reply. love you a lo........t
and praying for you. may GOD give you the courage to overcome all your problems and make you happy .
2007-01-13
#6
Name: rajo Subject: never lose hope
i can understand that the situation you are facing is very distressing. but you should not lose hope and courage, you have a small baby to care for.you HAVE TO LIVE for this baby of yours .if you feel that living with your husband is being more of a pain than anything else you can always think of separating if nothing works out. but first you need to cool down, take courage and then find a solution to this problem.REMEMBER EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION.
all the best and post back.
2007-01-13
#7
Name: ggg Subject: dont do this mistake
Hi dear
Dont think that u r suffering because of ur love marriage.Many females in arrange marriage are also suffering badly. Dont feel alone .We all are here to support u. After marriage ,parents can not do much help .YOU have to be strong n please post back . U can take that drastic step at any time if u want but why not to put all efforts of living life beautifully first .
Have u taken the pleasure of motherhood yet? So why not to do all such things n damn care to ur husband and his family.Husband will get marry very soon once again without any guilt.
Be bold yaar . U r the owner of ur life. Sucessful marriage is not the only condition of life . POst us again.
waiting for ur reply
2007-01-13
#8
Name: RANI LAKSHMI Subject: DEATH IS NOT THE ANSWER
I am very sorry due to lack of time.
I will write you soon, don't die.
Death is not a prblem solver, but a problemS creator.
Praying for you
2007-01-13
#9
Name: I am deeply concerned... Subject: hold on, talk to us here...
Dear W-in-D,
I am deeply concerned and want you to come back and post again more of your story.
Of course it may not be right on the part of your husband to almost encourage you being insulted by BIL, but no problem is really worth dieing, your life is valuable to your baby and to yourself and you must not allow that being devalued by your H or anybody else. He has almost violated his marriage vows by not protecting your mind and pushing you to this end. But still there are people to talk to and help you to better your lot or at least listen to you and suggest methods to live your life better than what it is now.
Please come back and tell us more. Do you work? How old are you? What kind of job is your H's?
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Subscribe to this conversation!
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Im here
Death is not the answer.
You r not a weakling!
Life is more valuable than marriage
DEATH IS NOT THE ANSWER
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