Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi ladies
I am sharing my prob with u and i am dam sure that mostly one or others are facing this kind of situation.so i hope i will get a good solution...
my prob is my hubby treats me very badly in front of my inlaws though they r not living with us but whenever they came to live with us my hubbys nature changes...everytime he insults me....shouting on every little things.even he tried to slap me also.sometimes i keep quite and listen to him but its really very humaliating.i have tried my best but u know inlaws character.they feel happy to see all this .i tried to talk to him not to do this but no use....
i think he wants to show that he is not happy with me(unfortunately we have love marriage)sometimes i left him with his family and go out .....but after coming same things happening.
how do i tackle this
please help

x replied. Be firm in your behaviour with him and his relations/friends. Don't be a 'yes master' type of woman. My mother - in-law was a devil who used to instigate my otherwise cool husband. She could not try much as I was cool and calm besides being firm in my approach towards them. Now she is dead and I am peaceful. JJ replied. Ishita and other dear ladies,
Relax ladies. I as a husband can tell you how much we need the wives. We husbands go through hell at our jobs and have to make a balance between our parents and wives. No matter what you do the 'SAAS BAHU' saga will go on. And we suffer the most between the two. If we please one the other automatically gets angry.
Dear wives please give your husband some space. Do not complain about your MIL in front of him. Ignore the comments of MIL and FIL. Enjoy your married life. See, the life is too short to waste like this. If your MIL is unreasonable then let her 'bark'. Turn a deaf ear and do what you have to do. Silence ladies silence is the best weapon to beat your MIL. But when you fight or complain then you are more likely to be held guilty.
See how Mahatma Gandhi won against the British. He never retaliated and observed Non Violence but at the same time never tolerated injustice. This way you would be held in high esteem by your husband.
Do not think your husband doesn't see. Men are more rational and better judges than women and think from their brain than hearts. So if you are right and not reacting...... he will develop a sympathy for you.
And yes, always be respectful to your elders. Just a touch of feet and a smiling good morning is enough to win over 80% of in laws. The rest 20% should be ignored as they are not worth it. So enjoy your life and share good moments with your hubby.
Post back for your comments.
Cheers!!! ( A bit of wine in the evenings would be helpful :)) ) RRR replied. Hi,
Last time when we went to India, when my DH started misbehaving in front of his parents, I just locked myself in the restroom & cried. Evil MIL was supporting him from behind with smile on her face literally!!!. After coming out, he asked if I am the only person born with tear glands. I've had it. I just blasted him back right in front of them & blasted her asking what made her so happy? They weren't expecting this from me!!! I said that I would go to my mom's place the very same day. Then he said sorry & from that day onwards to this day, I just try to ignore her & she knows the reason. She tried to butter me up by calling my parents( which she never before did), talking sweetly etc etc but i didn't budge nor I ever will.
So, the moral of the story is dont take any nonsense from anyone. We are also humans born with feelings.
regards,
RRR

you tell me replied. Hi,
My hubby insults me in front of anyone!!!..Whether it be friends or relatives or whatever..Like as if he is some great stuff & I don't deserve him or whatever..If no one is around he is fine.I tried my best to change this attitude like by insulting him back , then I tried giving him time out etc.,. but nothing worked..things were the same as soon as he sees his friends..So now I have learned to shamelessly live with it.I have trained my mind not to take his words to heart?!..People might think I am shameless or pathetic or don't have any self respect etc.,. They might think how can I keep quiet or not do anything when the husband keeps insulting me in front of everyone.....BUT I just move on as if nothing happened .hey what else to do? Tell me ..Cannot change him...but I can train myself right?!..I have a son whom I want to give a normal & nice future..If I start a fight or make this an issue then more than me or the husband my baby is going to be affected.i can live peacefulyl ,luxuriously if I leave my husband & may be he can do the same..But what about my son?!..I had a mom & dad when I grew up,How can I deprive my kid of that?!
So I decided to bear this attitude..Does not sound like a bad deal to me TTT replied. Hello Ishita,
Most of the husbands are like this. They just want to show to their parents or siblings that they dominate their wives and we are puppet in their hands. But a good human will not do such things, this is a cheap act. They will just ignore us in front of their people. Most of the females will go thru this phase, only we should be smart enough to tackle our husbands, even after married for 8 yrs, my husband does the same thing and if his parents says give divorce, he will say the same thing to me. It is such a humiliating thing. All these will stop when that evil women (MIL) dies, but that will not happen as early we think.
We have to just bear and go thru this situations. If any smart womens gives some smart suggestions, we can also try those ideas on our husbands.
kavita replied. Hi I think your hubby is smart guy..he is just acting like he dosn't love you..but really he loves you lot more than his parents.this is just a drama he plays in front of his parents to make them happy.since they just vist you for a while i think it is ok to tollarate as long as it doesn't cross the limit.one problem i see is his parents might also may treat you like dert after they know how there son is treating you. you should tell him calmly when he is in good mood.tell him he doesn't have to show any love in front of them but also don't treat like a dirt also since it is going to hurt your feelings towards your inlaws b'coz of their reaction.I have been going through this problem too..but my husband never acted like he slap me .goodluck.