Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
God has been very kind to me in everything. Very good parents, helpful brother, understanding relatives and friends. After marriage I was blessed with a loving son. Seems perfect?? But far from it. My WIFE is my ONLY problem in this world. She is ill tempered, spendthrift, lazy, dumb and misbehaves with my parents and myself. She doesn't do any household work and leaves everything for my parents to do. Orders me for water, food etc. Curses me all the time to her mother. Occasionally though she gets in good mood and that is like 5 days in a month when she relents to cook for me. Otherwise the life is hell for me.
I considered divorcing her but I love my 5 year old son and don't want him to bear the pain of separation and have no choice.
Please ladies, help me to please her so that she behaves well with me. If I ever get strict then she cries and complains to her mother who is also a big instigator and against me.
Even my brother in law is very understanding and has scolded her to mend her ways but to little effect.
Is there a solution to get out of this cesspool? Ap replied.
You have come on to a message board “women issues “ not men issues!
First of all if you are living with you parents, please disengage Move away .and stay away from them. Im sure you will claim like all men that your parents are a gift to mankind and also to your wife. Im not sure of that ,even the neighbours would snicker hearing you

To many men like you could be in the throes of Being Ram the ideal son..and carry the burden of it. Too many men like you will spend the best years
of you married life wondering whats wrong with your wife. when the wrong is elsewhere. Then when you move into Midlife and the women have found their own resolutions years back and have
found meaning to their life , you will a loveless, wasted old age.Even your wife will treat you as she has with a detached but caring nature. then you will understand the killing retribution of life .

cheers
Ap
venkat replied. Hei...

I had the same problem some time back. I posted a long message in similar lines. Lot of people adviced me. I am thankfull to all here. I went to a counsellor, it was a really gruelling session with the counsellor but atleast we were able to what we actually wanted and the problem was identified. Now things are going good if not great in my home.

I am not sure where r u from, but i can say u have to look this issue as a third person. like
a. why is ur wife behaving like this. is she over dominative or selfish or there is a real reason behind this.

b. how r u parents treating ur wife. women are very emotional they tend take words very seriously.

i wud ask u to be patient and handle the problem in non emoitonal manner. if ur wife shouts u have to find why is she shouting. If she is doing without any reason, then u cannot be a dumb dog following her ordes (i am not saying violence or divorse will solve.) more powerfull weopens are silence. if u do not reply, it hurts more than an physical violence to person.

first try to find what is the problem
involve a counsellor or trusted friend who u can rely..

thanks
venkat
Sona replied. Are u sure no mistakes from ur side???Which cant b true.Why dont u check it wid her talk to her if she too has some similiar issues related to U.U both have a son to take care so why dont u two go to a marrige counsellor.She may help u two get together.At least u people can try for ur son's sake. Chakrika replied. hi

I think she is in need of something to be done(or having some condition).Just try to know what it is?But this is my pure guess.