Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hi,

im new to this forum. i have a very strange problem. im 27 years old and have been married for 4 years. my husband is 29 years old. we are well settled and i want to plan for a baby. but my husband does not want to plan now. he says we have to earn more money! im really irritated with his behaviour and we are not having active sex as he feels i might get pregnant. my in-laws are of no help to me as they never advice my husband.i need my baby soon. please advice how to convince him Friend replied. Hi VV,

I can understand how you must feel, because for quite a while perhaps an yr i felt exactly the way you felt, for lots of men, children means more responsibilities, loss of independence and purely feel left out of the attention a wife used to give before the baby comes. it gets even more scarry when the wife sounds desperatly wanting a baby which means once the baby is here the hubby gets no attention what so ever.

My hubby had over 6 excuses (not at the same time, but one after another) starting from money matters till gain some weight and we will try, but the most important thing to me was that he is comfortable with the thought of having a baby, because it takes 2 to tango.. and the responsibility of the babies first few yrs atleast needs both parents to have their share of sleepless nights.
I would suggest out of my experiences, sit him down and ask him why he wants to wait and how long he wants to wait, if he says money ask him how much does he think is comfortable for the 2 of you to start a family, or ask him for a month (in the next yr if he is ready) and dont broach the subject regularly once he gives you the time frame, and when the time frame does come invariably (my experience)the issue will need no more conversations about.
hope this would be of help to you..
with regards
Pardes. neha replied. hi,
i know this is an issue which is close to your heart. but it is something which both of you have to decide. dont try to put your poinion on your husbad. try to think of it from his side too. what if he says i dont want a kid soon but my wife wants, problem. try to have a conversation with him regarding this first calm yourself down listen to his side of the story. dont use any negative words and try to convince him slowly . dont be forcefull or you will push him to the other side where he will become adamant. and all the best i personally feel that you are right the earlier the better. and thank god that your in laws dont interfere. let me know how it turns out.