Hi all

i have been very regular to the group. I have a 15 mnths old just like all of you, and me & my husband are enjoying the lovely kid a lot. Now i have recently come to know that i am pregnant, and i am not happy about it, but ready to accept the fact & continue with it. But my husband never thought of a 2nd child, he wants me to consider abortion, saying that he is not ready at all for a 2nd child so early. he is very happy with the first child & loves him a lot. I do not want to consider abortion, but i do not have the courage to continue without his support. We were both trying to convince each other with our own points. But now the result is we are not talking to each other. Please help me with your opinions. We were so happy when i was first time pregnant, never thought it can be so different for the 2nd time, just because it is unplanned & unexpected. I am ready to accpet it & continue happily too, but DH is totally inconvincilble.... tried almost all the positive points to convince him.

Please reply
Thanks Radhika replied. I am sorry..didn't mean to hurt your feelings..just upset some mother has to make a choice like this.
I can understand your tears too..
Try the options other friends have given..seems great options.
Talk to your husband without crying/accusing/harsh words..and like a normal discussion..listen first to what he has to say..and then respond.
I am not sure if he would like you telling anyone close about this..since its too personal, so best option ic an see is the doctor. If its hurting ur relationship so much, be quiet (i know its difficult for some time) and make an appoitnmet to the doc ASAP. I am sure doctor will guide you to an appropriate person or give a guidance..I hope doc asks u to have a check up and check the heart beat..i am sure he will change his mind then..
I hope and pray u get over this tension, am sure all of us are.
Just be brave..u have a kid to take care of ..how much small they are they feel the tension too..so be brave, since u trust ur husband so much which is so nice to hear :) just trust God too..he will make that compassion arise in him very soon..I am sure he is battling with the thought though not accpeting it..
so be calm, take a deep breath..go to the doc..and when u talk of differences..listen first, then give your thoughts.
Take care..pray pray with an open mind i assure u God does change and open paths.
Take care
Radhika Ritu replied. I have a three point strategy for you .

First , find out why he doesnot want a baby ?

Second , see if it is a valid reason .

Third , if you are not convinced then tell him you dont have the heart to murder your own child and you wont .

then envolve support like - parents ,inlaws , councellor , doctor ,Abortion can have complications too read up information on it then tell him .

Best of luck
Ritu Vindhya replied. Hi,

Have you thought about adoption instead of abortion. May be a childless couple would love to have your child. Talk to your husband about it. In the meantime, take care of yourself. It's not good to cry so much, I am sure everything will fall into place. Talk to your mother or your mother-in-law. I am sure being women, they'll understand your situation. Age difference of two years is not too short. I bet your husband will change his mind as soon as he holds the baby. Do visit a doctor and talk to him about the situation, may be your husband needs some counselling. Hope you come out of this situation soon.

Take care. kalyani replied. Hi,

i don't know what to say...just try ur best to convience ur hubby and leave the rest to god.Try to talk to ur parents or any elders and ask their advice.I have a friend who is married for 7 yrs and not having a baby yet.i don't have words to say how much she worries for not having a child yet.I think its not very soon to have another baby.Even i have a 15 month old girl and iam planning to get pregnant in next 5 months.I will pray for u.please let us know if ur hubby changes his mind.takecare
love from
kals Radhika replied. Thats tough..maybe the thought of caring for 2 is a fear in his mind..try to figure out why he is saying no..if he loves his first born, wouldn't another one add to the joy?
This is a very personal decision for both of u..I don't think any of us can give any justification but hopefully someone comes with a solution to maybe pacify one or the other.
That is so tough..i would be puzzled too..i would pray to God like crazy..
All i can suggest is keep ur egos aside and once u both are open to each otehr suggestions maybe u will come to a joint conclusion..
Other way out is i don't think u can decide on abortion so easily..u have to still talk to doctor, get his approval. Maybe u can be open about ur feelings with them too and they can suggest or direct the way to come to a decision.
Not sure how safe abortion is but maybe u can try convincing on that angle..How can u be so sure later on u will have another one or so on..
Personally , I think abortion is an option when u are desperate..cannot afford/baby is goign to be completely on bed and suffering etc..it is not an option becoz u don't want. I am sorry..kind of mad/feelign bad everything hearing this..frankly if it were my husband who didn't want i would just ask or finish this conversation askign why he didn't think of it while giving birth to it since he is against it..go get a condom??

but i can understand this is difficult..i am sure its not so easy to abort..i would hope doctor can convince or maybe after he hears the heartbeat will change his mind.
All i can say is I am praying..there are my friends going thru surgeries to have baby and hurts to see someone have one and not want it.
I hope this time he agrees with u..but i also hope he does it with a realization of how happy he would be with 2 of them..I hope u keep an open mind and can convince him without being defiant..I am so sorry...i am lost for words this case..hope u have someone u share ur tension with ..a friend/sister OR maybe u can visit some family which have kids with a year difference.
Too lost this time..hope others can think with a rational mind.
Will ask praveen..maybe he knows how guys think!**??
Take care dear...such times all i do is pray when we don't know why some things happen, its God who is testing..and i am sure he will bring in some light..
Take care
Radhika