Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Isha was shell-shocked to know that the tuition teacher had abused her eight-year-old son. How could that have gone unnoticed from her caring and watchful eye. \" How do I handle this\" . \" How will the child live with this memory\"

Here are tips for parents on ways to deal with a sexually abused child:

1. Parents, who are secondary victims in any abuse case, tend to deny such an incident. At a later stage this denial gives way to anger, which they direct at themselves and the offender. But such overpowering feelings have to be controlled.
2. Believe in the child. Even if the offender is a trusted family friend or a close neighbour or a relative, parents should not disbelieve a child when the latter narrates an experience of sexual abuse.
3. Always look in control, even if you are shaken from within
4. Remove the burden of guilt.
5. Behave normally.
6. Encourage your child to express his inner feelings, either in creative competitions or elocution.
7. Professional counseling along with psychiatric help will also help you to deal with your own trauma.

Discuss this topic! LISA replied. It has been 9 months since I found out my 8 year old son was sexually abused. I am still feeling angry, sad, confused and guilty. I can go more than a day now w/o crying or losing it. The hardest thing is keeping it together in front of my son. I am optomistic and know things will be ok eventually. Thanks for the website, I needed it! Kim replied. I was abouse as a youngster and declared id never let anything happen to my child (son 6yrs)I would kill anyone who did... but the last few weeks have been hell for me as I have just found out that my mums boyfriend has molested him!! I am amazed at the way I am handling it..I realize I need to stay calm and in control for him as it will help him trust in me and feel that I am a stable person to share his grief, anxieties with...its hard but keep calm..support your child. Anjali replied. In such a case, I think its important for the parent to have patience. Time is the best medicine which will heal all the memories.