Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi

Is it true that every marriage has a fight...especially love marriages.We both always have difference of opinions in things...though at times i dont show but there are moments that i cant control.We almost fight daily i feel..somtimes i feel like breaking up even but then........so many question marks.He has cheated me a lot in things though i have forgiven him...he does not try to understand me and my feelings...What i have started feeling is am being used merely for his own things...why is this so...pls advice and help me in contimuing my married life smoothly.... Rose replied.

I read your msg and also your reply to Ashwin...& got to know your plight...actually am too sailing in a similar boat...i too had a love marriage, but am having constant fights with my husband coz of some issue or the other....its ending up our trust and love getting eroded....i want to exchange emails with you...may be together we can help each other tackle this situation better...! Will wait for your reply...! Cheers! ash replied. Yes i do agree that you still love him , but he doesnt. Thats is the fact.

Whether you digest this or not, stay with your husband and take physical and emotional support from some of your close friend without your friends knowing about it .

Because if you leave your husband your child will be ruined. Thats is the only way left, because your husbands mind is now erroded he will never come back to lap and cry .

I know I am wrong in terms of values and ethic , but please dont waste your life and happiness just because of this leaf which is already dried under hot sun.............


Regards

ASh / ashwin SONYA replied. We all have our own ways to deal with
fights. Some fight until the other person
admit that they are wrong(alina case).

For some they never go to bed angry at
each other.

Some get over the fight the next day.

Some take it to the next level....and
involved the in-laws.

I am just saying that: there are so many
different kind of fights. It's hard to
help you find a solution.But........for
me, if I were you, this is what I will do
----start fresh, change the tone of your
voice. Simply, add \" sweetheart,honey,
babe, or sweety\" at the begining of a
sentence whenever you speak to him.
----a simple reply's will sometime work
(yes, dear! or no, honey!)
----ask questions!
(why, do you have to say that,babe!)
(or...Please don't say that again, okay?)

I know this is probably going to be
hard to say to the person(at the moment
hate or don't want anything to do with)
but......It's a great way to let him
know that you care for him, and respect
him--it's just good to hear the love
of our life say this to us.

The point is: we don't have to let the
agrument get any worse. a friend replied. Dear poonam

In love marriages before marriages the couples do lots of crazy things and show that they care about each other a lot more than heaven.

But after love marriage , the partners feel that whatever they had ever dreamed , they have got it.

Before love marriage there always a fear of insecurity of losing partner. After love marriage , this fear diminishes and partner feels less caring about their partner because their is no FEAR any more..........

So , Arrange marriage is best . Its has been seen that 85 % of successful marriages are Arrange marriage not love marriage.......

You can have innumerable boy friends before marriage .You can have sex also with your boy friend , no problem . But never ever marry the friend whom you love. He will never value you after marriage.


I have lots of friends of mine . The parents of all of them are arrange married people .I have never seen any fights or misunderstanding in any of my friends family , same with my parents also.


The thing which shines to its fullest ,it loses its shine very short time. The partner with whom you love and have sex innumerable times before marriage will never ever value after marriage . Always remember ..........this .


Expert
Ashwin
alina replied. Yes, every marriage has fighting. The key though is that always one of the two will be the one to walk away and the other will want to keep fighting. In my marriage I have learned to chose my battles. If it is not an important issue then just ignore it and let him win. Fighting every day doesn't help.

Once he cools down then you can explain why your opinion was different to his. If you are both angry nothing will be resolved.

Take care