Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

Children are shy in different ways for different reasons. Understanding the nature of your child' s shyness will help you develop a program geared towards your child' s specific needs. Is your child shy in groups? At parties? Meeting new people? In novel situations? Or, pretty much everywhere? Does your child have trouble eating in public? Playing with other children? Making phone calls? Or, is your child only shy when s/he has to make a presentation in front of the class at school? Knowing the nature of you child' s shyness will help you identify the specific skills your child needs to be more at ease in social situations. suchi replied. hello veena
every kids behave not in same way, some kids are very talkative and some kids are shy , when they meet first time to any stranger, like parents friends, so its quite obvious thing. archita replied. hello veena
i m mother of 4 years old girl, she is very quite nature, but she is not shy never, she like to meet everyone, but when she meet first time with anyone she feel shy around people, after she mixed up with them. Ritu replied. No my child is not shy at all and he mixes quite well with everyone he meets. At first he used to be very shy around people and used to just talk to us but then i made him join group activities and then with time he matured. Manah replied. Hello Veena,
Many kids will behave in the same way but the parents need to think about that and should find some solution so that they will remove their shyness also.I wish you would do that and solve your kid problem. Payal Raval replied. Shy kids by the time they reach high school open up and become talkative. We need to give them time. My daughter had no such problems but their activities ensured every child participates, even the shy ones. rani s replied. All teachers have had shy students in their classroom. These children are the ones who keep to themselves and quietly complete their work, often hiding from the attention of the teacher or their classmates. However, some of these children are not just shy or quiet but may have social anxiety disorder. For these students, simply going to school everyday and interacting with other children and adults makes them feel extremely anxious. They are excessively shy, have an intense fear of social and performance situations, and are concerned about humiliation or embarrassment. Anxiety may be excessive enough that anticipation of a social event may provoke a panic attack or cause intense distress. bina gautam replied. Shyness is experienced by many adults and children. The shy person might feel a little timid in front of others and could even feel self-conscious. Shyness can hamper a child' s school experience if he is afraid to ask questions and his schoolwork suffers. He could end up hating school. But there are things you can do to help a shy child in school. Take some time and intervene now. The shy child just needs a little more attention, and hopefully in time he will feel less self-conscious and more happy with himself
fida s replied. Pair the child with an outgoing student. Have them sit near each other. The outgoing student might help the shy child come out of her shell. The shy child could make a new friend as well.

bina das replied. The key to developing exercises to help shy children is to choose activities that provide a structure for shy children to interact with other children without having to worry about what it is they are supposed to do. Exercises best suited for this this tend to 1) teach simple skills that are easy for children to learn, 2) involve small groups that promote rapid turn taking, 3) require that everyone take turns playing each role, and 4) allow more than one child to be active at a time. Note--shy children become particularly vulnerable to anxiety while waiting to take their turn.

zinat sheikh replied. Compare shy children to other shy children who have grown up to be successful adults: \" You' re just like Abraham Lincoln. Did you know that he was afraid of girls, too?\" or \" I guess you' re going to be a great movie star like Tom Hanks. He used to be really shy!\" I can' t tell you how reassuring it was for me to learn the number of shy children who grew up to be uncommonly successful adults. Try asking your fellow teachers how many of them used to be shy. You may be surprised by the results lina shete replied.

Talk with your child. Discuss some of his role models who have had to overcome shyness in order to accomplish their dreams. There are plenty of role models who had to overcome shyness on their way to accomplishing their goals. Shake Your Shyness is a website dedicated to helping people overcome shyness and discusses many public figures and how those figures grappled with shyness.

asha naidu replied. Seek qualified professional help as necessary. While many children outgrow their shyness, many others carry it forward with them into adulthood. If your child is struggling---particularly if your child is challenged by a non-verbal learning disability or if you have a history of anxiety disorders, depression or substance abuse in your family---consider getting professional help. The right support can help your child' s shyness become just one small blip in the course of his/her development. In many cases, it will be fine to start your search for help by surfing the web, reading books, talking with other parents of shy children and/or taking classes. But should these avenues fail or should you want more immediate help for your child, it' s best to consult a qualified professional who has expertise and is familiar with resources in this area. Raja jain replied. The key to successfully labeling your child as shy is to . . .

always pair the term shyness with something positive
avoid using shyness as an excuse for your child' s behavior which takes your child off the hook for trying
truly believe in your child' s inherent self-worth, seek out opportunities to foster his/her strengths and reward your child' s efforts to grow.

kiran jadeja replied. Encourage your children to develop passions early in life. Even if they don' t like the first few things they try, the journey will make them richer for the experience. And don' t worry if they find a passion you don' t like (assuming it' s not dangerous, life threatening or too obnoxious to live with), most children will grow out things with time. Just know that the more things your children do in life, the more things they will have to share with other people and the easier it will be for them to connect. For a shy child, the ability to connect with another child is one of the greatest gifts they can receive.