Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,

I know its a offtopic to this thread.But i want to know the views.

Today I had my 18th week ultrsound.we want to know the sex of the baby.What my tech said is umbilical cord is between the legs So she think most likely its a GIRL.

How accurate is this prediction?.
Can you please share your views.

Thanks,
Sun Thinking replied. Hi Sun,
I am a bit late in giving my opinion about this, nevertheless I do hope you'll read it...
This is a society of hypocrites that we are living in. On one hand we say gender of the baby is irrelevant, on the other hand we pity a woman who has a daughter as her first born or a second daughter. It is not an issue with Delhites, or being illiterate or living in city or village, it is the same for each and every individual in this country (or may be in this world??!!). Why only society, the women themselves feel guilty for not being able to give birth to a boy child. That too, when every educated, independent Indian woman of today knows the scientifically proven fact that the gender of the baby is solely determined by the chromosome of the father and NOT the mother.
My advice to you will be to fight tooth and nail to bring in a change in this mentality. Do not even for a second show you are ashamed for bearing a girl child for the 2nd/3rd/4th time. Ask anybody and everybody who cares to listen to go and blame the father for the sex of the child, and not you.
Coming to me, I come from the eastern part of the country, one of the supposedly \" intellectually and culturally\" rich city. And I have a daughter as my first born. And I had the same peer pressure and sympathetic congratulations when she was born. I had severe depression for 2/3 weeks after my daughter was born precisely for all these. However, my husband was there with me always and he scolded me for being depressed. My daughter is the apple of his eye now. So much so, they are a team where I also am in intruder there. My MIL had 3 daughters herself (my husband being the only son) and her love for my daughter knows no bounds. I am truly lucky in that front.
However, now we are contemplating a second child and I am apprehensive about how people will treat the news of us having another girl child (this is a valid apprehension as girls are born more in numbers than boys due to nature's rules). I discuss this with my husband frequently and everytime he says that is absolutely immaterial. I also know my in-laws would be immensely happy whatever it be. Still I feel the peer pressure, the untold pressure from the society and cannot stop thinking \" what if...\" . I hope I will be able to come out of this and try for the second pregnancy sometimes soon.
My point is, let each of us show some determination and a \" don't care\" attitude towards this pressure of the society, and I am sure society will change for the better one day. May be our daughters will enjoy the sweet fruit of that change, may be they will not have to ashamed/bothered/embarrassed for not being able to give birth to a male child.
Or maybe, we can start sympathizing with the ladies having male child, telling her horror stories about the way she'll be toutured by her DIL, about the fights/politics/bitterness that will be crteated in the family when the son gets married. \" On the other hand\" , we can say \" Look at us the peaceful elderly couple, daughter and son-in-law come frequently, take proper care of us, we have a wonderful and amicable relationship without having to loose our sleep over saas-bahu drama\" :-))
I was in good mind to write a couple of more paras to show why everybody should want a girl child only nowadays, why girls are the better gender now (just like India is no more a developing country), how girls are outnumbering boys these days in anything and everything, but will keep that for my next article :-))
Please do not fret over the gender issue and have a great time.

Take care.. mahi replied. the abortion that i had was our decision as i did not want second baby at that time. we dint know gender, but doc said it was prob a boy`after removel.

me an educated lady, dint care a damn at that time ... and even when i was bearing a scond girl child (yes i knew it) ...
it was only after delivery i realised how the society hurts u ....
... all life mahi replied. u r right Sun ...

u know what, my folks are all from delhi .. well educated relatives ...

but it was only the corporate and office friends who really congratulated me on having a second baby girl

all others were calling us to congratulate and say with a consolation tone

for a mother, it doesnt matter (u hv read my story) ... but people will pinpoint and may hurt u all life. And then whenever u see ppl with boy children, it will haunt u

i know i m saying something very wrong ... educated people like us shd come fwd to change the mentality and start the new healthy trend ...

but i hv been thru it so i know. think abt it. I think u hv a right to go for a boy if u really want, given that u hv a girl (and i wd hv said same for a girl if first was a boy)

i think u shd discuss this with ur hubby.

as for abortion ... i hv been thru one but at a v early stage. The un-natural thing affected me and i had imbalanced harmones, led to thyroid problem and overwt.

then i had the second baby girl, normal delivery as i am active and eat healthy. But harmone problem, i still have.

so decision is urs.

good luck
mahi Sun replied. Hi All,

Thank you for all your views.

Here is my story. I already have 2 year old girl baby. So I prayed for baby boy from my conception. It looks weird to some of you. But I have my own reason for that.

My husband family had 4 brothers and 2 sisters and everyone had baby boy so everyone is expecting boy with this pregnancy.One more thing is...They all living in village and they are illeterate. We are the only couple living abroad.

Whenevr I talk with my hus side people they are indirectly putting pressure for baby boy. I don't know about their feelings after hearing the GIRL news. Still iam in depression mood. Here i have no one to share my feeling.

But from my heart I love my child whatever the gender may be.

Thanks for reading.
Sun. mahi replied. not really related to the topic, but something i remembered after reading this post.

normally, it is correct to say that we shd wish for a healthy baby irrespective of gender.

but i always feel one thing.

is it wrong to wish for 2 children, one boy and other girl? And if today's science can help me do that, why shd i not be allowed to use it?

I hv 2 daughters and i always preferred one boy and other girl.

My father expired early, i dont hv a brother. Son was the only relationship left i wanted to feel the relation of a male with (husband is a different thing).

It was never the typical indian mentality of male gender as 'better' in my mind. I just PREFERRED to hv a male for this different reason. I m equally happy with my 2 daughters and love them same.

And, if a lady wishes to have a boy/girl just because she wants it/likes (and doesnt think the old indian way) it then whats wrong?
hi replied. congrats mom...itz 50 % accurate..can know the gender by 16th week itself but better after 20 weeks to know bit more accurate..verne first of all u shud know that in most countries itz not illegal n itz thier personal wish to know the gender. verne replied. knowing the sex of your unborn child is illegal, and no having a umbilical cord between the legs doesnt mean a girl. supriyasanoj replied. congratulations on your pregnancy,18 weeks is too early to predict the sex.you can wait for your next scan.even then it will be just prediction.girl or boy just pray for a healthy baby.