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Hi there, I have a problem with my mother in law. She does not eat anything I cook when my husband is not home and she and her husband always stay in there room all day. They come out when my husband comes home. When he is home they are very kind to me. When he is not they ignore me. Or she will make comments. Like my friends daughter in law is very beautiful she has a better career than you. She know I don't talk to my cousin and then she will say that my cousin is wonderful. That my cousin is the ideal wife, mother and dauterin law. I don't know why she is doing this. When ever her brothers or sisters dauterinlaws are here to visit. She talks to them like they are long lost friends and she ignores me. Now she has told my husbands other family not to talk to me. So when they call and I answer they never great me they ask for her. I don't know where i went wrong. I sponsored them to Canada and my husband. As soon as the papers were signed they took a 320 degree turn. Before I felt very loved and cared for and I returned it. Now they treat me like garbage. They constantly cause little matters. Some fruit had spoiled. Today she made an effort to display it. To show it to me that I did not check the fruit for spoilage. I felt that odd, because if it was spoiled then she could have just thrown it away. If she wanted to make an issue she could have thrown it away. I told my husband about this. He told me to gather some people and settle. So I asked him are you leaving me because of this. He said well not yet. I am pregnant with another son, I have a six year old now. I was very excited about this baby for after so long. Despite my difficulty with th4e pregnancy they still treat me like shit. I feel like killing my self, but I can't leave the kids.
Please help.
Frusturated. sashikala replied. hi frustrated
it is really very nice to hear that u respect indian culture.AN has given u a very good advice
don't worry abt ur-in-laws take care of ur family ur kid ur hubby urself
just listen to what ever ur in-laws say
they r not going 2 stay with u forever
don't take any issues to ur hubby. & c that he does not talk in favour of anybody.incase his parents complain abt u let him tell that he'll discuss it with u but not in front of them .
explain ur husband he'll listen but don't complain abt ur in-laws to him
even if he knows abt his parents nature he will not like to hear it frm u
u also b veryyyyyyyyy kind 2 them when ur hubby is there(even when he is not there)but let ur husband realise that u respect them .give true love 2 people who really love u other wise follow their route .just pretend
b happy all these r petty issues
good luck
AN replied. Hi Frustrated!!
I feel really sorry for you, look dear MILaws are always the same. but \";seva karne se hi meva milta hai\";, try to impress them by small deeds like touching their feet when you wake up in the morning, or if someone asks you how u are say that everyone loves me very much here so i am very happy.
try to talk to them about everything discuss the problems with them but never make them feel that you are frustrated. try not to give any negative reply to them, say yes for whatever they say. even if she makes comments on you that you are not butiful and all...don't take it seriously just try to ignore it.
if she is angry with you and not talking to you go to her and say \";mummyji I am really sorry, I will try not to repeat this mistake\";.
sometimes we have to kill our ego to make others happy. so do that.
is yours a love marriage or arranged?
do theylove your kids.
even if they don't understand ask your husband to move somewhere else. atleast love your husband so much that he could not even think of leaving you.
I am really sorry but we have to tolerate all this.
I wish you all the best.