Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,
Many would have come to know abt ur husband's drinking habit after coming to US . Will u tell abt this to ur in-laws or parent or will u hide it from everyone.
Ur views pls.
sweety replied. In no way am I trying to scare you away from your relationship but my cousin sister was in a similar situation.
The thing many people don;t consider when coming to the US that you don;t need to adapt bad habits to fit in. Maybe you may want to explain to him the difference between social drinking and excessive drinking. Sometimes making non-desi friends that don't drink excessively helps because he can see that this behavior is not the norm in the country.
I agree with the other posts because he is your husband and you should try to help him your way first.
If things don't improve over time be sure to talk to your in-laws because if a big situation happens, I pray to God nothing does, they will blame you for not coming to them sooner.
I think it may be a transition issue rather then a drinking issue and giving him time and alterantives may be the solution. SONYA replied. Hi,

Not everyone here in the United states
drink, you know?

I am so happy that My Husband don't
drink on a regular basis.

It's perfectly okay to drink when there
is a party, and when you are out with
friends at a night club, or at some
sort of celebration.....as long as that
person is not driving, there is no harm
there.

but........if they are a heavy drinker.
I would get out of the realationship as
soon as possible...because this will
lead to physical abuse in the family.

Yes, if I were in that situation, I would
tell the in-laws.....because this may
only be a way to wake him up from this
bad habbit of his. preethi replied. hi there,
i was in your situation when i come to US.i think you need to stop worrying about this.first of all dont inform this to anyone.this will spoil his image among ur parents and will also lead to some misunderstandings if he come to know about that.this is not good in the early days of ur marriage life.so better dont tell this to ur parents and in-laws.he is yours now.with your love you can even stop his drinking habit.but it will take time.make sure he doesn't drink often.taking little alcohol is not bad.try to reduce his frequency if you feel he is drinking often.dont force him to stop suddenly.be patient and expect positive result in the future. sv replied. Hi Rima

My advice to U is:

- U first confront it to ur hubby.. and try to make him understand that u do not like it... try to get his point of view... do not fight but just discuss this issue...

- it is a very difficult habit to give up... so maybe u can start off ... with small steps at a time..... maybe u can make ur hubby drink at home after ur kids r asleep etc.... and then slowly try to control the amount he drinks.... but at any cost do not fight... if u fight he will get even more addicted to drinking....

- If he still does not have control over drinking.... maybe u can tell it to his parents.... but it is very tricky... coz many hubby's do not like their wives discussing such issues with their parents ... he might get even more angry and may not listen to his parents

- I think he is too old for u to complaint about this to his parents... I mean what can they say ... its very difficult... but maybe if his parents r understanding and close to u... maybe u can use this idea as the last resort.....

- U have to be strong and u have to be in control... try not to discuss this with ur parents.... they will be really worried.....

- Try to be strong when u confront ur hubby... first u need to know why he drinks sooo... is it coz he likes to drinks or some other prob..etc... like prob at work .... if he drinks it for pleasure... then put ur foot down and tell him how u feel...

- Plz do not worry.... if he drinks on weekends and u see that it is not affecting ur family life then its fine... give him his space.... but tell him not to have too much to drink etc.... be by his side...

- He is ur hubby... somehow r the other... subconciously he will listen to U..... when he goes out with his friends.... try to keep in touch with him... keep calling him and telling him to drink very little and make sure he is not driving.... and there is a designated driver who can drop him... some hubbys r like kids... u always need to take care of them and be by their side... after sometime they come to their senses and realise their mistake... but do not give up.. keep trying and be by his side.....

- Do not worry... he is ur hubby and definitely.... he will listen to U... but this habit cannot be stopped in one day.. it is a slow process.... keep trying never give up and have lots of patience....

I hope my advice helps u....

All the best...