Relationships  Discussion Forum

Have been married for 2 years now. Met a friend from past lately and we got back in touch. He was someone who loved me a lot and i loved him too but by the time he let me know it was too late..i was already married..i never dared to tell him my feelings bcause i didnt know what he felt. I did regret that moment in life and hated him for not letting me know this earlier.
Since this frined and i dont live in the same country all we do is write emails and that too casual. Its a decent relation out to the world.
But in my heart and soul i love him. Lately while having sex with my husband i think of this friend and its feels great. I never had a chemistry with my hubby ever but he is a great husband.
I would never dare to do anything out of marriage.
Is physiscal touch the only sign of having an affair. I feel am sleeping with this friend because when am having sex with my husband all i do is think of my frined. He has touched my soul.plz tell me how do i get over this.though i'm not cheating or harming anyone,im suffering a lot.i'm not able to enjoy my married life completely & not able to give myself emotionally to my husband.plz tell me what should i do?how to handle this situation? i'll be ever grateful to all of u.thanks in advance
sandhya replied. Hi, you are holding the past, let it go.if you hold it you are not going to get other than pain for both you and your husband.it is a sin to think about other man after marriage from all the religion.remember to keep 'maryada'.to stop thinking about him, you need to stop communicating with your friend, slowly reduce keeping touch with him.when ever thought of his comes, just involve yourself in other things. Sanam replied. What your are feeling is normal but there is no future to this relationship with your friend unless you divorce your husband. If you did not share chemistry with your husband ever, then you shouldn't have married him in the first place.

Fantasizing about your friend when you have sex with your husband, many will say is normal but if the tables were turned and supposing your husband told you he did not share chemistry with you and the only reason sex is possible is because he thinks of another woman or his ex..I am sure you would not like that.

So please stop communicating with this friend of yours even if it is casual emails because obviously you are not over him and the more you are in touch with him the less distant you will become of your husband and compare him in all aspects. Think of it that, it wasn't meant to be and move on with your life.

It's upto you, make the best out of your marriage or ruin it...the ball is in your court. Nav replied. Hi anu,
I can undesrstand your feelings, it happens this way with many because the biggest mistake we do when we are unmarried, we hold back our feelings, then get married to someone else, later regret or think of them while sleeping with spouse. if he did not express that he loved you much before u married someone else, why do have to rock your marriage thinking about him? more you think of the other guy, more you'll distance yourself from your husband, many women do fantasise while having sex, but they don't end up in emotionally loving them coz itz very harmful. stop thinking that you have fallen in love again... you are just 2 years into ur married life, try to put attention into your husband than ur lover boy who delayed expressing and that has now led to all these problems. good luck
Nav