Relationships  Discussion Forum

Not all Mother in Laws are bad few daughter in laws are also worst. I am also newly married but I want to tell you about by sister in law i.e. my brother's wife. They are settled in U.S. She doesn't like anybody to come there. If my parents go there they do evrything themseleves like cooking, laundry , dusting, cleaning ...evrything..and my bhabhi she just comes to eat whenenevr dinner is ready . She doesn't do anything. Her behaviour is very irritating. Infact my brother also doesnt say anything to her. As such they also have problems with each other but in front of my parents or other relatives he never says her to work.Which is not right. When she comes to our place we give her the VIP treatment but she is not worth of that. Becasue Whoever goes to her place she treats them like a servant. She says lots of bad things about my parents and us . Lots of things are there to tell if i will write it will take me hours.
I just want to convey before answering any message try to see both the sides of MIL and DIL. Dont jump into the conclusion that always DIL's are right. As per my experience DIL's are worst though i am also the DIL of somebody as such i dont have any problems with my MIL.But few DIL unnnecessarily says bad things about their MIL because of their insecurity and tortures them.They forget if she is doing bad with her MIL then her brother's wife can also do bad with their parents. How will she feel if her bhabhi will do the same with her parents.

Sanam replied. Hey you Shweta,

You don't know me or anything about me. I come from a much better family than your I am pretty sure because the tone in my email was general most of the time. How you are as a DIL you can't brag about yourself since we can only know that opinion from her.

I do not treat my parents or my in-laws in any bad way. I would say that my in-laws are the best in the whole universe. When they visit me not only do they take over all the duties of my house like laundry, cooking, groceries etc...they even pay for it out of their pocket. My husband & I despite refusing them to do it, my MIL will say no this is my children's house (referring to both of us by the way) and if I can't be off help while I am here and give you guys are good break what is the point of us coming. Such are good inlaws, good indian family values and the bottom line, good human beings. My parents do the same when they come to my place or go to my brother's house.

So before jumping to conclusions and calling other ppl bad DIL's...solve your house hold problems first.

Sanam replied. To be honest I think most in-laws or parents who visit their children settle abroad have unending expectations from them. Life in the west is very tough and people really work long hours and get tired because there are no servant and even as immigrants we are not used to the different weather conditions.

When parents or in-laws visit us we feel great that there is someone there for a few months to help around the house. If your parents have been to their house and had to cook, clean etc I don't think it is wrong. Everyone there is expected to help around with the chores. For e.g when your brother and bhabhi are alone she does laundry for 2 people and when ppl visit there is more laundry to do so why not help. Besides it is not like you are washing the clothes or dishes with your hands, all you have to do is stick in the machine for crying out loud. Vacuuming takes less than 45 mins. If your bhabhi is not working then it is different if she leaves your parents to do all the chores and your mum/dad should tell her (not through your brother) could you please help me I can't manage on my own.

Also, you mention that your brother and his wife have problems between them but he does not say anything to her. That my dear is none of your business and every couple has few problems and obviously they are not big enough because he stands up for his wife no matter what.

How do you know she says bad things about you and your family..if you have solid proof bring it out to her and your brother in the open and say so and so told me this is it true?

It is nice that your parents treat her like gold when she visits you. They are showing maturity and good family values that despite not being treated well in her house you still treat her very well. One day she will realise it and that may be a turning point.

I do agree with you that not all in-laws are bad but majority are unfortunetly and it is hard to judge who is good and who is bad!

No hard feelings... this is just my 2 cents. fara replied. Hi,
How ur bhabhi treats ur parents is none of ur business. How did u come to know abt all this? It must be through ur parents, I guess. That means they must be also bad mouthing abt ur bhabhi.U shd feel happy that ur bhaiyya is not scolding ur bhabhi in front of ur inlaws. Di dur bhabhi command ur parents to do all the work or ur mother voluntarily does allthat?
As u said, analyse both sides b4 bad mouthing ur bhabhi..