Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am in this strange & weired situation, I don't know how to discribe it...I am 30 yr old female & married settled abroad.my mom passed away last year due to illness.my father is 60 yrs old & lives in india alone.I have one brother who totally ignored my father, (completely ignored, not even phone calls),basicaly they don't get along with each others characters.my father doesn't have any close relatives who can look after him(he has , but every one is behind his money).I tried to talk this issue with my brother, but he dosn't look like take any interest.honestly speaking my father is arogant & rough by talking. but his heart is good.& he is a honest person.well no matter how he is ,still he is my father. now, my problem is nobody is their to look after him.I gave him option of sponcering his green card, but he doesn't want to come, he tells he doesn't want to depend on anyone & he doesn't want to stay with anyone & abroad life may be boring for him.last time when I called him, he was not feeling well.he was laying on bed for 4 days & nobody was their to look after him.now he thought about the situation, he is considering 2nd marriage, ( he wants to marry a widow or unmarried above 45 )& i am have understood that, he is not marring for any physical satisfaction, but for his old age support.& he has also told me that, he will drop this idea, if i don't agree & women will be selected by my concent.but i am in big delema, it's hard for me to digest my father getting married in his old age & imagine some other women in my mom's place.my hubby giving him option to stay in some good elderly home care & stay 2-3 months in my home in a year. I feel very embarresed & humiliated .I think about the comments by my husbands family & in society if he gets married in this age .can anyone please guide me what I can do about this situation? Ranirasmi replied. Dear Anu,
I am very sorry to read this letter today only.

FIRST OF ALL WHEN YOU DO A GOOD THING FORGET WHAT SOCIETY THINKS.

From your letter I feel that your father is capable of standing in his own legs. He is over GENTLE, so he asked you and your permission. When you face the pain of loneliness you feel it. If I am in your position I will be in front to search a lady to him as his wife. Your mom is died, accept the truth. You think of your father living in loneliness. In old age company is having importance and not sex. Even if it is sex why you spoil his sex. He is a human being like your husband.



c replied. being alone in your old age can kill a person faster than what society thinks. if your father meets a good woman who also needs company and is willing to marry him - i think you should let him go ahead. there will always be someone who has something nasty to say - and that will happen even if you put him in an old age hope or leave him to live alone in india. just because you fear \";what people will say\"; you may end up feeling miserable about the situation. as long as your dad is happy - you should not worry. ofcourse you donot have to consider the woman your mother - she is just a companion for your father. and at any age , when you have been independent long, its terrible to be dependent on anyone - especially your daughter and son in law. so let him lead his life the way he wants - and not lonely and neglected. think about it!