Relationships  Discussion Forum

I read your MIL issues and its such a bad dileima. Most of my frineds battle that too.
My MIL told me that i am BAd LUCK to their house. They blamed me for anything that went wrong in thier house and when anything nice happened ...say for instance a promotion for my husband etc it was becasue of my MIL prayers. And then yes there were always this complains about my mother...Dont know whats their problem if my parents are not living with them or dependant on them for anything...Why even bring it up. Oh well i can go on and on.
Now that I am having a baby she is so excited to come here. I know she will go on and on with her stupid behaviour and will point out now that she will have a new hot topic of the baby. I cannot tolerate her face but have to put up with her for my husbands sake.
I am not a strong personality person to answer back so I end up feeling hurt most of the time and crying by myself. Its a very bad situation and I guess all we can do is share our feelings. There is no SOLUTION !
So I guess all DIL's Live with it.
Nihira replied. Thanks girls...I like the idea of being firm without being impolite or rude.
I will really have to get a grip since my MIL wont leave the house till its 6 months. Thanks to the embassy for that. My SIL is also planning to visit for couple months:(
But i know if i lose it I have you guys to fall back upon. This is my only outlet.
I completely agree that keep your husbands out of this. The more you complain the more attached and defensive they will get about their mothers/sisters. Use reverse phsycology i guess...hahaha


isha replied. congrats for the new commer.to be frank this MILs are fault finders of there DILs.u can never satisfy them.
as u say that she is so exicted to come for the sake of yr baby,i feel u should call her otherwise she will creat problem for that too .but before that u deceide what u want for yr baby,how u r going to takecare of her.and just say yr plans for yr baby to yr hubby (dont mention anything about yrMIL)so in future if u say anything to her yr hubby will know that u din mean to hurt his mom.
have the whole control of yr baby to yrself.
allthebest
takecare dont worry Trs replied. Nihira,
You're right there is no solution that will solve the problem permanently. However, there are ways that you can control it somewhat...and standing up for yourself will be the best thing. Often, we think that by doing that, we will lose respect in front of our in-laws...but you're losing even more respect, you own self respect by not doing something about it. Don't be rude, be firm and let them know when you don't appreciate something. Chances are, over time, the in-laws too will realize that you're not weak. Mil's and Sil's thrive on such weakness, mydear. Be nice as much as you can, but don't let them get away with anything either.
You have a baby coming your way, be happy and stay in good spirits...and yes, the sad truth is that the Mil wil nag,and find something or the other wring with the way you're raising the baby, but this is your chance. Take this oppurtunity to set things straight from day 1. I had to do this too eventually. My Mil and Sil would always find fault in me and normally, I wouldnt say much...but a day came when they said something about my baby..and well, that triggered something. I had to be firm and forget my 'sanskars' for a few months. This worked, and they got the message.
be happy, and keep your baby/hubby happy. I don't even involve my hubby anymore if i have a problem with the in-laws, I just sort them out myself. Just be glad that she is not living with you.
sorry this is long, but I just get frustrated reading about the problems dil's still face in today's society. Be strong. God bless you and your baby.

Regards, Trs