Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, I live in the US and have horrible in-laws. Actually I dont have a MIL. My FIL remarried and they have kids. My husband is first wife kids....I have terrible problems with the in-laws. This step MIL is evil and will twist and turn things and make things horrible for me. FIL -basically mouthpiece for step MIL and will always be angry and shout harsh words...totally not a resonable person. Whenever I go to India it is a big problem, they twist and turn things...and cause fight and problem whenever possible in public, in gettogether...I am very depressed abt this, because i like to go to India for diwali, and stuff like that and you can guess how the situation will be....My step MIL is so bad, we send them money every month but she took all my vessels from marriage and also if I go to India i will not get even Rs. 1/- but I have to give money for her kids, give gifts....Another thing I am worried is that, I like to go to India for good but am scarred to go also. My husband does not talk boldly to his dad and stuff, so my case will be more week if he gets involved...Also in my in-laws place her whole family will be there, her parents, brothers, sisters.....fully dominated by the step MIL. If i go there I wont even have space to sleep, have to literally sleep one over another...That being the case, I dont feel comforatble so I try to stay in my house. My stupid FIL will not understand all this and of course his wife will put all evil in his ears and he will start shouting whether be it marriage, or any function. He will make a big deal out of all this. I hate those people and I like to go to India so much, but am also scared and vexed of in-laws and dont feel like going also. Please help
Priya replied. I too face a similar situation though its from my FIL and FIL's sister. FIL's sis manipulates everything and interefere's in every single aspect of my hubby's family. Her's is always the last word in every decision they make. My MIL doesnt raise interfere in anything though she believe in everything anyone tell her. This sis of my FIL turn my FIL against me when me and my hubby go and stay with my family when we come for the vaction to India. We always try to give equal share to both families but my FIL always complicate all our plans being too possessive and listening to his sis. Last time she even made some harsh comments at me when I went to visit her with my In-laws. My Inlaws didnt even try to support me they just didnt care and I didnt want to make a scene as I had promised my hubby that even if such situtions happen I will try to ignore it and wont hurt his family. Later when I told this situation to my hubby he too was hurt but after he joined me in India as usual somehow his view point about this incident changed completely all of a sudden and he says I am making up things. His dad always like to talk to him alone and doesnt want me to share any of the part in the family talk. Even after 4 years of marriage I still feel like an outsider in their family reunions. I tried my best but now I am trying to Ignore it and forget all the past incidents I had to face. You know its very hard to do and its very depressing when you dont have anyone to ask for a comforting hand. I dont want to bring my family in to this issues as mine is a well known family and the In-laws of my sisters are very well behaved. I dont want to give a bad impression abt the family my hubby is from and how he treats me... I just dont know how to handle this situation as he turns to be a caring hubby when we are alone. help replied. I forgot to post 1 more point. My husband is also fundamentally very weak when facing his dad. Basically he has this feeling that successful people have good parents and they wish good for the kids. So he never talks against him. My FIL knows this but he is with his wife's side. So he will only blackmail and curse curse all the time. He can never ever talk good words at all. I tried telling this to my husband that he is taking advantage of you and also causing problems for me bcoz of this but in vain. I guess there is no solution to this. I desperately want to return to India and dont want to settle in a different state for this sake. What should I do. Please advice. Also I forgot to mention, all these years I have also not said a word against these people although i would get v. angry with what they say and do. I just keep my mouth shut as my husband and mother says so. Should I start opening my mouth or just stay the way I am.