Relationships  Discussion Forum

We are living abroad. One of my friends told what she did in India during her vacation. She is actually well qualified and working here in a good job. Since marriage, they have done a lot for the husband's parents. Now, Her inlaws started tauting her, shoted at the son and insulted her parents for no good reason after a few days of their arrival. My friend quitely packed her bag and went to her parents house and stayed there . Straight away walk out from that spot. She directly boarded the flight back from India from her parents house. My friend had earlier told her husband that if such things happen, this is what she will do. Her husband had also supported her. Her hubby stayed back in his parents house for the rest of the vacation , while my friend stayed with her parents. Both have a good understanding. My friend says how can we put up with such talk and listen like dumb people ? So, instead of arguing or giving back , she decided to move from that place, so that her inlaws will realise that abusing her will only make matters worse. I am almost in the similar situation. What shall we do , when our one month vacation starts becoming a nightmare ? Should we argue with inlaws if they pick up a fight with u ? or should we just go like my friends way ? or should we accept all they say and be the meek and quite DIL staying back with inlaws ? Once we give in to their scoldings, we can never raise our voice. At the same time, inlaws are after all hubby's parents, old people. and again nobody in this world esp inlaws should have the right to insult my parents however aged or sick they are . Friends, please advice.I am little confused. Please share your feelings too. Kavya replied. Are all the inlaws always monsters ? Please post some experiences where you can have kind and loving inlaws as well ? Can that exist ? I would like to know. Mohini replied. why are getting so cynical ? yeah, MIL and DIL issues are the same all over the world and yet so different in each family. This is just a board to share our feelings.. and you are talkning of a moderator to chk what is being written here !! save your priceless advice to all the dreay youngsters who post questions on sex etc. thats where u need a moderator. those who are posting on this section are much married ladies with kids. !! and they will be far more matured than you think. these family issues are never going to be solved. sharing our views will only help us. You probably dont have any problems with inlaws (which is very rare ), or probably u are not even married yet !! if so, this is not the board for you. If yes, do give reasonable msgs . Thank you Shilpa replied. Hi
dear \" fedup\" , it may be boring for people like you, but its a great wasy to relieve the stress we DILs are facing daily. its nice to share our feeling sto people on this board. so, if u are bored , better dont visit this board and why do u even read it ???
anyway, thanks all for replying and sharing. we are living abroad.. and when we go for 1 month vacation and want it to go as nice as possible. but inlaws ensure that the vacation becomes terrible for you !!!! its true that its my house too, and i have every right to stay put and shout back. but how do u behave after that.. how do u face each other. and dinner time, luch time.. how long can you show faces at each other. the hatred multiplies each second,. so, isnt it better if you could go to ur mom's place and spend the rest of ur holidays there a little peacefully. becasue as long as u see ur inlaws, our resentment only increases. of course, all this is possible only when ur hubby is supporting u. in my case, inlaws dont seem to ever SHUT UP. the more we argue, the more they abuse. there seems to be a never ending list of complaints about the DIL which u urself had not realised. FIL bangs the doors to show the anger. MIL makes noise in the kitchen, and how are we expected to stand there and put up with this even after we raise our voice. in some families, raising voice seems to be of effect. its a sick situation. !! di bh replied. hey it worked for your friend. but it might or might not work for you.Let in laws face music once.Hey i was listening to my in laws crap from 4 years thinking i dont stay with them so i shudnt say anything but last time i had it. they went on and on and pulled my parents in.my fil said your parents didnt bring u up properly . That was is i gave him nicely that he will never in his dreams open his mouth again about my parents. Sometimes u need to give them or they will take your silence for granted and abuse more. Hey our parents dont deserve to be abused by them.they will abuse even if we do whatever they ask us to do. They dont resent anything but our presence in their son;s lives.there are many in laws who have convinced their sons to divorce their dils for what to satisfy their wish.
Take control sooner or later u have to do this .why not this time?dont let them tell u anything .sometimes they need to listen from us.If they tell u anything take courage and act. Best of luck. fedup replied. ............. and it goes on again and again. please look at previous messages, before posting the same.


thanks sneha replied. Hello,
Well Priya is right! I don't think I ve guts to leave my inlaws place n got to my parents (and I don't think its right also) As priya said its your house as well. I faced the same situation and eventually had to give them a piece of my mind. Had a fight, but for sure no one dare to speak such things about my parents anymore.
Now don't give them a chance to say bad about your parents.
Good luck! priya replied. initially even i ws in the same situation. i am married for 4 yrs now. my inlaws cursed my parents. i listened for a few days, expecting that it will sop one day. it didnt.....now i give it back n i told them that if u dont want me to answer back, dont give me a reson..so all depends on you if u want to lose ur respect. my hubby gets irritated at me, but i hammer it into his head that i cant take this. will u take it if my parents do the same. n dont leave the house. its urs now. its ur right. they can make ur life miserable only if u allow them to do so.