Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all,
i have been married for 3 years.i have a good relationship wid my hubby.my problem is my cousin.we hardly had any contact with each other & used to meet only in social get togethers before marriage.he was totally fine & was talking normally wid me.he never expressed any special feelings towards me.( though we both had slight crushes on each other) we both new we had crush on each other but never expressed anything.since he also didnt express anything i went ahead & got married wid someone else & i really love my husband.the problem is as soon as i got married my cousin went crazy & after marriage he started saying he loves me & stuffs like this via emails & chats. i got really angry with his behaviour as he was talking like that to me after marriage.so i'm trying to totally avoid him now, but he always try to find some or the other way to contact me.i'm getting very scared now.i dont know what to do.since he's my cousin i cant create a scene also as it will be embarrasing to me also.i feel he's obssesed about me.i dont know what happened to him after my marriage.before marriage he was taking me for granted & never expressed any of his feelings.he's started all these after my marriage. i love my husband very much & i dont want anything to affect my marriage.i have never scolded him also. i have just kept quite or ignored him dont know whether i did the right or wrong thing.i'm so soft natured that i cant be rude to anyone also.so anyone plzzz advice how to handle him & the situation.also if anyone can tell me why he's acting this way.i'm really worried.plzzzz advice ruby replied. hi anu,
i have seen similar kinda situation in my family..so if u make him shame in front of evevryone he may take revenge n go crazy.so juz give him a chance.these sort of guys will b usually cowards....so do onething juz tell ur husband that u love him so much so a crazy idiot iz jealous of usn u dunt want to create a scene b4 all n dunt want to brk the peace in family..so ask ur hubby to call him personally n talk to him n warn him..n threaten him that if he continues he will tell others or handover to police..so he wunt do that again..block his email id frm ur maillist n mmensger list...thiz iz sensible n mostly men are sensible to this kind of situation..so better handover thiz to ur hubby sangini replied. I am sorry, for the wrong sentence take your mother or father or both of them in confidence and tell them first and let them deal with the matter and you then tell to the aunty or uncle whose son he is and let your father shout at this cousin in front of your aunty ot runcle this will set all things straight rather than you taking any othe cousin or sister or younger family member in to confidence this matter is too sensiive to involve many people and any person other than your parents can take advantage... sangini replied. See anu are you a muslim you didnot mention if not then i guess this cousin marriage or attraction is a big NO NO in our hindu system so please before it gets more serious and starts creating problem and may one day your husbands sees his emails or hears phone call and presume something take your mother or father nobody else involve elders and then your aunty or uncle whose son this cousin is create a scene in your parents house and not in you husbands house i know it is embarassing but to get embarassed in your husbands house and keep a lovely marriage on stake for such a petty person who doesnot respect you, and more than love or obsessed he is feeling failure stop this or he will dare for me and create endless problems in your life.... let him no that you have told everybody at your parents side so that he and his family will get soem scorns and he will get the message may be your silence is been taken in a wrong way by him be careful my freind and take action at earliest it already a bit late but before your husnbands knows let all the world at your parents place know make a loud noise to make him quiet..