Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello everyone,

I have posted on this website before and have received valuable advice from everyone here. So here I am again.

As much as I am bothered by my in-laws' behavior towards me, I am more disturbed by negative thoughts I have had about them. I let a lot of things pass, but if my mil is trying to say something sympathetic to me, it just feels so fake, and all a show, that inside in my head, i'll just say \";shut up\";.

For festivals and all, my mil turned my entire mandir upside down, so instead of having good feeling looks a mandir, i just avoid it, because it is no longer how i had put it together. My mil has put away my diya and has brought her own from india. i hope god will forgive me for having angry feelings, I don't know how to get rid of them. I just feel hurt, and having angry internal feelings. I have accepted whatever she is doing and am letting her do whatever she wants, but when my own things in my mandir are treated as if they are dirty and not worthy of being in front of god, I just look away. For so many months, I have been scared to go and touch anything in my mandir and hence just pray from a distance.
So--any words of wisdom on how i can wash of this negative feeling that I have. I have trained myself not to react to things that bother me, but now i just yell at her in my head. don't like to be near my mil or fil. feel like they are all nautankis.
but they are my husband's parents, so a part of me respects them. but that's about it. i have lost respect for them as people. i want to bring respect for them back and not have so much negative feelings for them. how can i change my thoughts towards people that continually hurt my feelings.
after all, there's nothing i can do about who and what they are. if they are nautankis--ek dant dikahne ke liye, ek khane ke liye -- it will be that way. as parents i do eveyrthing for them, and want to see them happy. but at the same time, i dont' like them.
please help. I just want to be at peace within, as i am from outside. i ace quiet, but inside i am frustrated, angry, hurt.
friend replied. Dear Jyoti,
I have exact same feelings for my inlaws. Specially mil 'she is a nautanki'. I am so very full of negative feelings for her. I also feel feel 'frustrated, angry n hurt'. don't know how to be myself again!
I have decided to keep a distance from them. If they don't care for my feelings then why should I care and then get hurt. I dont' expect anything from them anymore. Just I keep relationship with them since they are my hubby's parents (and i can't change that)! shan replied. Hello Jyoti,
dont feel guilty. I think u need a good friend at this moment. i am serious, think about it. well i tell u, i can be ur good friend. dont dishearten at all.