Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have a few questions regarding friends.I have good friends but there are some where they kind of start a competition mode.
Like for instance I didn't know hindi very well ,so when i used to speak initially i used to make a lot of grammatical mistakes but with the help of some nice friends who encouraged me I am very good at it now,but there was a certain friend(say friend A) who used to keep making fun though she too wasn't too good at hindi but i went past her and now I speak fluent hindi.She used to put me down in front of other people,she hates my cooking ,won't believe it even when I wash my vessels she finds fault in that.
Then after 2 yrs I started hitting her back in the same language that she used.The basic end result is we only meet up in parties and they have stopped calling us over to their place and another fact being that she doesn't do that with anybdy else but me.I am sad that we are treated very shabbily ,I don't know if there lies some fault in me too but people find her more approachable than me.She does have lots of friends too inspite of her nature(inc her husbands).I love friends I have few but good friends.I love making more friends.
Then another friend (Say B) she was a very good friend until the part where I got pregnant (We are a set of 3 very good friends) Accidently one of them came to know it because she has a kid and because I had thrown up at her place so it was unavoidable and she immediately knew.But we hadn't even told our parents yet and so we wanted to keep it under wraps till a month or 2 had passed by,and then we told my other friend (B) and she fought with me saying that I betrayed her and never told her and she has completely stopped talking to me,basically she told me that she is angry with me because I didn't tell her as soon as I came to know about it.I find it very immature and told her that it was nothing personal and it was something that we had to tell in our own time,but she has never been happy for us.She herself had done the same thing she told everybody else but us ,but we though that maybe she didn't want to tell us and she wasn't comfortable with us and we were just happy for her (it went into a miscarriage for her).
I don't know why people have such high expectations from us even though they don't and they also do the exact same things that we do when the need arises.
Ho do I tackle this friend.I like her a lot,we have had really good times and I don't want to lose her.

P.S. There are many such issues that she has kept from us and we would come to know from somebody else,but only in this case is when we saw her true color.She says that she considered me to be her best friend and how could I do it.I don't knwo if she is upset about the fact that I didn't tell her or because I got pregnant. kuntala replied. Well I dont know if this is a similar problem. I dont have kids. I have friends who have kids. These friends share their kids photos but never with me. They call me to find about interviews, job, cooking, inlaws problems, trips that I had been to and everything else but never call me for birthday parties, naming cermonies. I anyway get to know about these things but have never questioned them. I had one friend who always maintained good relationship, but when it came to pregnancy and visiting a gynaecologist, she started going with another friend who was also trying to get pregnant. They were acting like, they were planning for something big and I was supposed to be kept away. Dont know if I was a big competitor for them to get pregnant. RK replied. You cannot force friendship. It is sad when sometimes that u got along with someone and liked so much things go in a diffrent direction. But u just need to accept that...because if u forcebly carry on this friendship it will land up u getting hurt.
pregnancy is a personal matter and u'r best friend should have understood that. If she can't, then maybe u should consider the possibilty that u really r not best friends.
Sometimes jealousy also makes people do wierd things. The best thing i can recommand is....just be u...if she wants u'r friendship..well and fine....if not then move on.....u will eventually find someoen else with whom u click.

All the best SS replied. Hi shwetha,
I really appreciate your attitude not to loose your friend but unfortunately some of them dont deserve that.I too had similar problem...*X* was my neighbour and she voluntarily came to my appt and introduced herself and we both became friends and *Y* was recent friend of *X* and we three became friends..,things were going good and we too had good time..we used to go out for a stroll,do laundry together,go out for grocery and we meet in each others place quite often.we three were telugu speaking and mine is not that good since i was born and brought up in chennai..so,i use to communicate in english most of the time and sometimes i will talk in Telugu and *X* will make fun of my slang..i tried to improvise but could'nt up to them..so continued in english.and everything was fine until * y * and myself became pregnant(2 months difference) and we both had babies.. in the mean time *X* got the job and went to different state.i dont know waht happened,her attitude changed,,she started ignoring me and made frequent calls to *Y* and when ever she was here she will meet only Y and not even enquire about me.oneday we had gettogether and everone were present-X,Y and our other friends..X's inlaws were there and i invited X to my home with her in-laws and suddenly she said in front of everyone that \" learn proper telugu then i will come with my in-laws cause they know only telugu\" ..i did not expect this and felt very bad since most of them were telugu people..Fine,i forgot it and used to mail her.send online message,and even call her..she wont pick up the phone..i will leave voice message and no responce for that too..if i call for 5 times she will respond after that and used to brief her talks and sometimes she hungup saying she is getting other call..like u said i dont want to loose her friendship..so i made several attempts but everything was in vain. one fine day i decided not to call her voulantarily.Till now we both are not in touch with each other.Only thing still haunting me is \" i know i did not do any mistake neither i did not hide anything from her but why she behaved to me like that is still a BIG queation mark?
Any sort of relationship or friendship ,which is forcefully caried on wont last longer.All the relationship are based on \" EXPECTATIONS'but Friendship is the only thing which doesnt have any expectations and who will be true to you and with whom we can share everything which we cannot share it with parents or husband .but sometimes there are persons like Your B and my X who dont deserve this.just be yourself..talk to her like you do..but still her attitude is not chaged then only thing you can do is to 'Ignore'her. shweta replied. the other good friend is definitly not the friend whom I have named as A.

we were just nice friends.