Relationships  Discussion Forum

HUSBAND IS A POPPET ,WE GOT MARRIED 2YRS AGO JUST THE DAY AFTER THE MARRIAGE MY HUSBAND ASKED ME TO SET HIS HAIR ALL OF A SUDDEN MY MIL JUMPED IN AND TOOK THE COMB AND STARTED SETTING HIS HAIR LIKE A NURSERY KIDS HAIRSTYLE..AND STARTED TELLING TO HER SON THAT WAT SON AFTER YOUR WIFE CAME U WANT HER TO SET YOUR HAIR?? DONT U WANT ME? I WAS THE ONE WHO USED TO COMB YOUR HAIR WHEN U USED TO GO TO SCHOOL DID U FORGET THAT? AND THE NEXT DAY MORNING MY HUSBAND ASKED ME TO MASSAGE HIS HEAD WITH OIL SINCE I AM A BEAUTION I KNOW IT WELL..BUT EVEN NOW MY MIL JUMPED IN AND TOOK THE OIL FROM ME AND STARTED MASSAGING HIS HEAD[ACTUALLY SHE WAS SCRATCHING HIS HEAD] AND MY HUSBAND STARTED TELLING Mom U DONT KNOW HOW TO MASSAGE U LEAVE MY HEAD...SO SHE STARTED SCOLDING HIM TELLING THAT AFTER WIFE CAME U WANT HER TO DO ALL THESE BEFORE I USE TO DO...BUT FACT WAS THAT AFTER MY HUBBYS SCHOOLING SHE HAS NEVER TOUCHED HIS HEAD TO SET HIS HAIR NOR TO DO ANY MASSAGE EITHER...BUT THE DAY AFTER WE GOT MARRIED ON MAY 28TH AND SHE STARTED SHOWING HER OVER POSSESSIVENESS ON 30TH MAY ITSELFF THOUGH ..I WAS VERY NEW TO PEOPLE AND HOUSE SHE DIDNT CARE ALL SHE WANTED TO SHOW WAS THAT HER SON IS I HER GRIP...& WANTED TO MAKE ME FEEL THAT I NEED TO STAY IN MY LIMITS AND NOT DO ANYTHING WHAT MY HUSBAND ASKS ME TO DO...THOUGH WE WERE NEWLY MARRIED MY HUSBAND DIDNT HAV COMMON-SENSE TO TAKE ME OUT SIDE ALL THE WHILE I HAD TO STAY INSIDE THE HOUSE AND HE USE TO GO ALONE RAOMING AND RETURN HOME AROUND 1-2AM N THE NIGHT...ONCE I MADE AN EFFORT AND TOLD THAT I FEEL VERY BORED AT HOME TAKE ME OUTSIDE..SO THE NEXT DAY EVENING HE TOLD ME TO GET READY WE WILL GO OUTSIDE...I GOT READY WE BOTH WERE NEAR THE DOOR TO GO OUTSIDE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HIS MOM STARTED TELLING I DONT GO OUTSIDE ANYWHERE? THERE S NO ONE TO TAKE ME OUTSIDE CAN'T U GO OUTSIDE ALONE WHY DO U WANT TO TAKE HER ALONG WITH U? CAN'T SHE STAY AT HOME??..LISTENING TO THIS MY HUSBAND SAW ME & TOLD TO GO IN & CHANGE YOUR DRESS AND STAY BACK AT HOME I WILL GO ALONE N COME....I FELT VERY BAD MY HEART WAS BROKEN EVEN THE LEAST PRIVACY/FREEDOM WHICH I EXPECTED I WOULD ENJOY WITH MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT CRUSHED BY MY MIL ....CURRENTLY I HAV GOT 4-5 MONTHS OLD BABY BUT MY HUBBY IS LEAST BOTHERED TO EVEN ASK HOW IS THE KID WHEN HE GIVES ME A CALL RARELY....HE IS IN ARMY AND CURRENTLY HE IS STAYING FAR AWAY NOW HE HAS GOT HIS HOLIDAYS FOR A MONTHS TIME BUT HE HAS GONE TO HIM MOTHER AND STAYING THER WITH HER HE IS NOT EVEN BOTHERD TO COME AND SEE ME NOR THE BABY...I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MARRIED LIFE ...IF I ASK HIM THAT HE NEEDS TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND AND A GOOD FATHER HE SAYS U MUST BE IN MY PARENTS FEET DOING THEIR SEVA....THASTY I GOT MARRIED...HE MEANS TO SAY THAT THEY WANTED A SERVANT AT THEIR HOME ...AND FOR MY HUSBAND HE NEEDS ME ONLY N THE NIGHT TIME...AND THE REST OF THE DAY HE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT HE IS MARRIED....BASICALLY MY IN LAWS WANTED A SERVANT AT HOME AND THEIR SON THATS MY HUSBAND WANTED SOMEONE TO SATISFY HIS PHYSICAL NEEDS AND TO COOK FOR HIM....HE DIDNT EVEN WANTED ME TO BECOME A PREGNANT ....EVEN WHEN I WAS CARRYING IN 4TH & AGAIN IN 6TH MONTH HE TOLD BE TO ABORT.... I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS BRAINLESS DUMB HUSBAND OF MINE WHAT DO I DO?..I FEEL LIKE JUST LEAVING HIM AND STAYING ALONE WITH MY BABY....BUT LEGALLY WILL THE BABY REMAIN WITH ME ALWAYS??? PLEASE ADVICE shumaila replied. hi friend

you need to speak up.start telling him politely that wat you like and wat you dont like,tell him that you are not happy in this way.i think your mother in law is quite afraid of you.she is thinking that she might loose her hold at her home.so in this case try some other tricks when you wanna go outside ask her that you are not feeling well you want to gout outside,try to put some pressure on ur husband,tell him that he is not only a son e is also a husband.he should not behave like a mummy kid.try to handle him litely then start ignoring him a little to make him feel that you are not happy with him.dont hide your emotions.you need to talk with your husband ,tell her to behave with you like a wife and not a sex machine. sangini replied. Ask your husband what is he doing doesn't he care about his child like his parents do for him, ask him what wrong have you done for beibng treated in this way, confront him and ask each question that is their in your heart to know what he also wants, so that you will come to know what you should do next because if he does not answer you properly and shows he doesnot care let him aslo have some insecurity and no way your baby will be with you. and when he had asked you to abort the child in your pregnancy time then there is no way he will be intrested to have your child believe me many things will be sorted may be after this conversation you will be this side or the other side but you will not be lingering in the mercy of your husband, find a job even if your parents are well to do its imp. to be independent elena replied. Hello dear,
I think that you have two choises.
1.You can try to become like daughter to your MIL - try to please her, talk with her, ask her for advices - about how to take care of your baby, about coocing, about everything/ hehe even you dont want her advices/ make her to feel important for you. If you do this she will not be afraid that you will take her place in your husbant heart, and do you know if she start to like you - she will speeak with your husbant- she will tell him that you are good girl.....and he will change his acting too.
2.Go and tell your husbant that you cant live like this, that you are not happy - and if he dont care about you and about the baby you will leave him / i dont think that this is the good way to decide your problem/

Keep me informed about changes in your situation
Elena