Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi! i am mother of a 2year old. my husband is highly influenced by a spiritual guru. he wants to shift in the ashram or in a place nearest. he neglects all family duties. if i talk to him he either creates a scene or says point blank that his guru is his priority. he is not involved in family events, daughter's b'day. he doesn't feel happy in spending time with daughter or me, but feels it is a burden.i work as well as take care of house. i even moved away from my parents becos they were staying near the ashram. i feel i am running my family alone with only monetary help from my husband. i don't feel anything for him and he also blames me for bringing him away from his guru. he is seldom happy or contended. all his thoughts are focussed on his guru. i can't decide if i should separate?pls help. RAMAN replied. SEND SOMEBODY & BREAK GURU' S NUTS.
GURU SPOILING FAMILY LIFE OF MANY PEOPLE.?????? anu replied. dear shagun,
i deeply feel sorry for u.i know much it hurts to be neglected by husband.i can completely undersatnd ur state as even i have gone through the same with my father.i lost my mom at a very young age & my dad was the only person for us.but all of a sudden he started visiting these mutts & totally got brain washed by them.he used to spend lot of time &also money on them.if we ask some necessary things,he used to say no money,but for ashrams he used to shell out money in lakhs which really used to hurt us.since in ur case its ur husband,its even bad for u since u have to spend ur entire life with him.this may effect ur child also emotionally in future when she starts growing up.as far as i read ur message i can see that ur financially independent & completely capable of raising ur kid all alone.plzzzzzzz talk to ur husband openly.tell him its his first responsibility to take care of his family,then comes evrything else.thats really mean for him to stay wid u because of guru's sake.that is selfishness.since ur hubby thinks only abt himself,now u need to think abt urself & ur baby.do whats the best for u both.now ur kid is very small & cant understand anything.so now its ok.but once it starts growing up & start understanding things & realises that its been neglected by its dad,ur bay will feel very bad emotionally & there will be lot of bitterness & hatred in its life.i'm telling this bcoz i experienced the same thing for my dad.now i'm married & even now that wound in my heart hasnt healed.i dont want to advice anyone to break their family ,but if that is better for ur life,i think u shld do that.1st try ur best to talk to ur hubby regarding this.that is even bad that his parents are not supporting u in this matter.try to involve somebody else from his family side whom he loves (may be his sibblings,aunt uncles etc) to convince him to limit all this ashram activities.if he continues with this,u nees to take the right decision depending upon ur situation.ur baby will get atleast mother's love completely than missing its father in spite of him living with u guys.so i hope God gives u enough strength to make the right decision. i hope this helps u atleast to a certain extent.take care Tony S replied. Dear Shagun,
It is sad that your husband is drawn towards the guru. However do not try to talk to him on separating from him. Be frank, nice to him but firmly ask him if he wants to forever go and stay with the guru. In that case tell him u would like to be separated. Dear u r not being selfish or anything, u r just letting things be. Also if your parents stay near the ashram does it mean that they support your hubby in going there ? Pl. write more details, because if u do have to get separated then apart from courage, financial independence which u already have u will also need moral support either from friends or family. Also where r his parents residing ? What do they feel about his going to the guru ? Pl. write all details so I can advise u better. All the best. Let me tell u u r doing a brave job by handling everything on your own.