hi friends
i hv a 6 week old baby. i am managing alone over here (mom could not come). i find it very very difficult to get up at nights to feed the baby as i am already tired during the day feeding him, burping him, diapering him, etc. i become very irritated with him at nights when he keeps on crying and does not go to sleep. whenever he cries i hold him and make him go to sleep but sometimes he just does not sleep and goes on crying when i keep him down and i get so angry and frustrated that time. once or twice i even put a slap (not very hard though) on his cheeks out of anger. next day i feel guilty and just kiss him and say sorry to him and that i was just frustrated, etc. its not ur fault and all, i tell him that but at nights again i lose my temper. pls help me friends. what should i do? is this behaviour of mine normal? i feel i am a bad mom to do such a thing to a little innocent one but just cant help it. sometimes my frustration comes to such a level that i feel like dying. pls help. does anyone of u get angry at ur babies? Radhika replied. I can understand how u feel esp since u are alone. None of us new moms expect the amount of time and energy it takes to adjust to being a mom..please don't be hard on urself and don't try to do all the work at home like before. its not possible. Let the oher rooms be messy and make easy to eat food for u and hubby..u need to be relaxed for feeding and baby to sleep,very difficult even for milk supply if u are doing all the work..so when u take it easy u are doing it for ur child and its not selfish..so ask help from hubby, friends
..if u can pump milk give pumped milk to ur husband/friend and take rest...(not work).
since ur baby has passed 6 weeks..this is frowned upon by most parents who have help of inlaws..but when u are alone and working ur supply of milk in the eveing is bound to go down..here is what my american friend suggested, if u are exhausted and feel baby is crying for milk and u are out, try 1 oz of one consistent formula. it will give u a break and baby will be fine..(please check with ur doc. before u do this), generally baby is cranky or the go thru a growth spurt and need more milk, this is a good option..please use this only if u are exhausted and cannot pump any more.
Ask ur hubby to help 80% of houselhold work he can do a lot like cutting veg if not cooking, laundry,cleaning up the house..yes even if he is working its still less stressful than what u are doing.don't hesitate to ask.
Take rest..if u cannot cook anything drink fluids and have cereals/oatmeal better than being hungry..
Hope u get better, take one day at a time..don't think of what next..i am sure days will fly by and u will be fine.
Radhika nikki replied. Hi ,
Don't feel so frustrated..I am also alone here.But my huby is helping me a lot.So i don't feel so tired.My baby is also 6 weeks sometimes in the begining I also used to shout on him when I was myself in pain after his birth.But now I always sleeps when he sleeps during the day so i have sufficent energy in night.Be patient ...Whenever u become frustrated relax for a second and then think how important is baby in ur life then evry frustation wil go away ..:)

take care,
nikki Lakshmi replied. Hi friend,
You certainly sound very very frustrated and I am sorry there is no one to help you around and take turns at night to change his nappies and feed him. Slapping a little infant will not improve his sleeping and eating pattern, every new mother goes through the same thing you're going, I do the same, get up so many times to check on my son. My husband works at night so I have no help either but I am managing somehow and I know that in no time, my son will grow up.

Please be patient with your baby and don't let out your anger on him, babies can read their mothers mood, it'll only make you feel guilty. Sleep whenever teh baby sleeps during the day , this can be any time of the day, don't feel guilty, just go to sleep whenever he sleeps so that waking up in the middle of the night won't be very bad.

Meanwhile, if you have time, just go through different babies web site, they have great ideas on how to deal with post partum blues and handling infants efficiently.

Good Luck and my postitive energies to you.