Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi readers
i am new to this sight and have few probs and hope to get some solution..
i have a so called happy family
to be frank i have a very nice caring and loving hubby(till i say anything negtive about my mil)
my father in law is really an excelent guy i have same place for him as i have for my father,but my mil ..she tryes to act in front of my hubby.in his absence she does not help me anything i do all work at hom but when he is back she trys to show as though she is helping me lot.
even when i was pregnent she did the same,that was also ok i did but the thing she always blames someone for something and crys in front of my hubby and trys to gain sympathy
i used to have sever stomachpain and even spoting problem while i was preg,so 1 day i could not get up at all so i did not cook ,she did it that but she was shouting as though i have commited a big sin..my hubby knew it to be frank he shouted back and left to office. my fin was also not happy he also showed it.
to my surprice he did not bother and was if front of TV the whole day, i closed my bed room door and i was lying down suffering(she dint even bother to come and c me and my fin being a male was so concerned)
it was night when my hubby came..he din talk to her he came directly to c me..not even 5 min.
i heard this lady vomitting
my hubby got so worried n went to c her thats all .....1 hr i don know what they spoke he wanted me to ask her sorry........
till now i dont know y??
i delivered a girl babyshe was underweight
reason i know all sorts to mentaltension.
it was a c section i came back to my inlaws place after 1 month.my hubby had to go to US. my mil was in her moms place for 15 days(delhi)
i din want my fil to stay alone so i was here.
but when she came back i was taken aback about her behavier she just came to play for some time with the baby...and all other things i had to do kitchen work aswell as talking care of my baby(changing napkins and even giving bath)
thank god i came to US AFTET 1 MONTH
but even now it does not seem to end my inlaws r comming here thats ok but my hubby is still not understand if i say something about her eh gets wild(once he beat me like anything)
but to be frank i know he loves me he often say pls don hate my mom she is innocent....
my question is how long ??i will not hate her but he should know her true colours??
she is not innocent..
shealways trys to boss over
i cant type all my suffering like this .i cant even share my problems with my better half??
is life ...i am leading a so called happy life... isss replied. thank u all for the concerns
s these things has to be ignored,but its a very difficut task.
and this i guess a never ending thing which many of us face[it creats a felling that we dont have anybody for us not even our better half ]
hope to find some solution some day
bye
thanks

NAINA replied. DEAR ISSS,JUST IGNORE THESE OUT-LAWS, DO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR HUBBY & CHILD.IN FACT WHEN YOU TALK TO HIM JUST MENTION THAT YOU FEEL SAD FOR YOUR MIL SO HE FEELS YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR MIL.THIS IS REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. PLEASE FEEL SECURE TO APPROACH ME AS I AM A PSYCHOLOGIST TEACHER. REGARDS, NAINA. NARA replied. DEAR FRIEND,

I WAS ALMOST IN TEARS READING YOUR STORY,
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ARE OTHER LADIES
WITH THE SAME PROBLEMS AS YOU.


YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE THE MOST
IMPORTANT PERSON IN HIS LIFE.
I CAN'T BELEIVE THAT AFTER KNOWING YOU
WERE ILL, HE DIDN'T GO INSIDE TO COMFORT
YOU......WHAT A JERK!!!!

WHY IS HE STILL ATTACH TO HER LIKE THIS?
SHE REALLY NEEDS TO LEAVE YOU ALONE.

pity replied. i am sailing in the same boau..but my advice iz dunt expect that luv frm ur fil always cuz if ur mil thinks to change him itzz so easy like mine.my fil was very lovable but when i went to my home for delivery within 3 months my mil devil changed my fil n he stopped talking with me..i get angry enough to shoot her if she creies in front of my hubby if he goes to office she sit in front of tv n watch the whole day if he returns she enters kitchen acting as if she'z doing works even though she'z not well.sometimes i think of giving her any award honuoring her act..and always says she got heache,stomach pain.leg pain,tired etc etc.none of the doctor's said she's sick..and hardly care my baby but if i go somewhere with my baby shew creies to my hubby n says she miss my baby...so never mind those devilsss...love ur hubby n baby n ofcourse ur fil never expect back..but as itz our responsibility we shud not try to get rid frm mil's even though they r devils..juz forgive them.or ignore them. Dinu replied. it's ok and u can call it so called happy life.Because I'm sailing in same boat and still I feel I'm ok :) !

Because,I c many of friends here suffer from same problem .
u just can be peaceful while not getting their topic in to ur life. I read here suggestions over these problems .

In ROle Of inlaws board ,One of our friends,Silver gave some soothing opinion on it and some suggestions ... Just read that threads and i hope it soothens u aswell. It somehow worked on me and i felt relieved that many r there gone thru similar phases ,I'm now in...

have a great time! Best of luck
Dinu.