Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

Ours is a love cum arranged marriage. We had 6 months time after engagement b4 marriage. that time my hubby was on a project in middle east. He is my MIL's only son. those days my MIL likes me very much and i also go to her house often since she is alone and was divorced soon after her marriage. I liked her very much and she also praises me a lot like anything to anyone who came to their house.

days went and we got married. now only i began to realise my MIL. she often tells bad about anyone who helped her.at first, i got annoyed. later when she started saying this about our parents and my relations whom they really helping her till now in all matters, I got angry much.

My hubby loves me very much at the same time he cannot leave his mother also eventhough he knew that is telling something wrong. not only this, my MIL has all the behaviours that i never ever forgive in my life like lying, forcing some one to help her eventhough she knew that she can do it, jealous about my own mother that i am very affectionate to her, acting as if she is not feeling well especially in family functions inorderto get into other's attractions, etc.

during the 1st year of my marriage, myself and my hubby were quarreling each other abt this even we ourselves had no misunderstanding. she acted a lot that my hubby even beat me up when i was pregnant. I cannot forget those in my life. Everybody has their own faults. for myself, i said unrespectable words. my hubby, always get annoyed even for silly matters that i just conveyed to him. my MIL, she always act and act infront of his son that she was not feeling good bcz of me and everyday she did the same with new causes.

since i left my hubby for delivery, he realised a lot. now, my MIL also changed somewhat. the thing is i cannot forget those incidents that went on during my first year bcz of my MIL. now she is with me and most fo the times, i got angry for what she did before. so most of the time, i am fighting with my hubby.

I donot want my MIL to go from our place. bcz its a sin. we have to take care of her. sametime, i cannot control myself. so i decided for time being, myself and my hubby were apart so only we can have a peaceful life. but he didnot agree. he says that without me, life will become miserable for both(MIL & husband). so what shall i do now? or is my decision correct? NARA replied. I KNOW THAT MANY THINGS HERE ARE VERY HARD
TO FORGET-AND-FORGIVE, BUT.......

YOU HAVE TO--------JUST GIVE HER A SECOND
CHANCE.(YOU DID SAID THAT SHE HAVE CHANGE)

IS SHE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE YOU
AND YOU CHILD BETTER?

AS FOR HUBBY-HE JUST FEELS STUCK IN THE
MIDDLE. HE LOVES YOU BOTH, BUT CAN'T
DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. x replied. Dear Friend,

I was in a confusion what to do. After reading ur reply, i got some confidence. friend, i try to follow what you said. I do not want to let my hubby suffer without me. The only -ve point in me is i show my affection in anger or shouting. my parents knew about it very much. but here, too hard for them to u'stand. anyway, we have to live the life as it comes. thanks a lot for ur quick reply.

by the way where r you? and what is ur name? do you have any e-mail id, sent it to me.
bye hi replied. hi dear x

your story is excatly same as that of mine. dear friend i don't have much time now to explain it in detal. but it s 100Z% same dear . erverything. i frst wondered is this ME MYSELF?

so anyway dear now it si 5 years after our marraiage and i think GOD HELPED ME A LOT .
dear friend, i know how u r feeling. becase i alsdo felt like tat and now, I FEEL I CAN TACKLE EVERYTHING. EVEN THIS CUNNING MILS.

friend , frst thing i'll say is just ignore her. love her respect her and care her only in a distance. keep that dstance always. whenever u think, she is crossing that line, just IGNORE HER. WALK NTO ANOTHERROOM.

we havwe no other choice. we have to look after them. dosen't sllow er to create dramas. ACT LIKE A STRONG GIRL. when she starts to act drams, just ignore her and cunningly make her realise the real thing. just make her understand indirectly that she cannot create dramas and U' R NOT TERE TO SEE AND REACT TO IT. LET HER SON IF HJE WANTS RESPOND TO THAT DRAMA OR NOT. IT S NOT UR THNG.
you just be yourself, be a clear girl, you have no hidden intensions, make it clearINDIRECTLY. YOU DO YOUR DUTIES LOVE YOUR BABY BE A GOOD MOTHER WIFE AND just ignore here when she make show off's.

I THINK THIS S THE ONLY WAY AT LEAST GIVE US SOME PEACE OF MIND.

U JUST LOVE Ur parents. what she thinks don't care just ignore. also show her u love her also lke that. just show her sometimes u love her and respect her and WHEN SHE CREATES DRAMS SND DO SUCH IRRITATING THINGSS, JUST SHOW HER U DON'T CARE THAT.
slowly she'll realise she has to be good and neat with u otherwise she only loses.
so i think this all things i wrote will help u dear.

really have no time today jusrt when i saw ur posting. i cannot help wrtng, because dear friend i really know what ur goingthrough. f this helped u in anyway let me know

lots of luv and prayers