Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi to everybody,
Till now I did not told my problems to anybody except my mother.After seeing all your posts i thought may be you friends can help me.I have been married since 10 years.2 years i lived in india.Frompast 8 years I have been living in us.ours is a love marriage and we married against my parents wishes.My mil accepted our marriage.So I had a great respect to her.she also treated me very well until my husband told that he rented a house for ourselves in bangalore where he works.From then on i saw her true colors.Whatever my husband purchases me she wanted the same for her daughter.She also will say that without taking any dowry i gave my son to you so you have no rights to say anything in this house.this she told me when her son is not there.when i told this to my dh he tells to ignore them because he will be the one who will take care of you. My dh is ver loving and kind.He will understad me very well.But the real problem comes when we go outside for food or movie or somewhere.my mil will say that you are not a child you can go anywhere with out your wife.but the samething does not apply to his daughter and son in law.So I thought I should not talk much with my husband or go anywhere infront of her.I know that she will be happy if I do this.But she backfired on me.She started saying that iam neglecting his son and me and his son are quarelling.My mil has this bad habit of crying for each and every thing.she will cry everytime infront her son and gains his sympathy.Believe me I used to cry fornot doing anything.eventhough we stayed apart from her in bangalore she used to come every weekend to see his son.She is very insecure and till today she is feeling that i will seperate her son from her.Iam an educated girl and brought up in ajoint family.I like to mingle with my inlaws and i want to be happy.But these people are not allowing me in to their family.My husband loves his mother as much as he loves me.He is a mute spectator.MY MIL controls everything in family.She asks money from his by telling all the fake reasons.I think my husband alsoknows this.When she came to usa she will come with us to the grocery purchases.She came not to look the store but to estimate how much money we are spending and how much is leftover.That way when she was in india she used to demand that leftover amount.His son knows that she doesnot need money.But she used to pester him until he gave money.I tolerated all this untilmy kid was born.Now alsoshe will say send all the money to me so that i will purchase something on my sons name.But that never happened.She will spend any amount of money on her daughter even though she is married.Till now she never purchased even a small toy for my son.I dont want to ask about this as i may become cheap infront of my husband.But she knows how to tackle my husband.She will say that everything iam doing is for the sake of my grandchild.So i totally lost interest in her words and began to stop sending money to her .She got angry on me and she quarelled with me when my husband was not there.she only started the quarrel and called her son and said I scolded her.Infact i did not quarrel with her i said to her that if you want me and your son live happily dont interfere.Still if you want to do the samething then dont come to my house.SHE changed all the words and complained about me to his son.My husband initially did not take anybodys side but things are getting complicated day by day.She is expecting me to say sorry and invite her to my house.But i dont want to say sorry because i did not do anything wrong.10 years after my marriage for the first time i quarreled with her for the sake of my sons future.I dont want to see her face also but my husband is the only son.I know that she will come definitely with out my permission because that is his sons house.friends please advice me on this .whether i have to say sorry to her.please tell me if she comes here again how to tackle her.please bear with my long description naina replied. when she will come behave normally dont say sorry but manuplate words like leave it wehatever happen lets start new with new ...and ask her to work give her work to do ..let her feel that its your home and she is a guest.