Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello friends,
For the past 19 years I have been suffering at the hands of my in-laws.Mine was an arranged marriage.After my marriage my husband was posted to different places.I was very happy that I would finally be away from them because they showed their true colours immediately after I got married.Whenever I used to join my husband immediately they would also follow us and used to cause mental disharmony.They used to cause rift between us and when they used to leave peace used to prevail.If they were not with us they used to still monitor us by talking on phone.Now my mil had some health issue and is with us for past 8 years.She has made our lives miserable.If we go out she doesnt like it.I want to take my children on some holiday resort but because of them we cannot do so.She provokes her husband who keeps on yelliing at me.I hardly sit with them children hardly talk to them but she anyway grabs the opportunity to annoy me.One day she told me that since I dont listen to her i will be dog in my next birth.This is her feelings for me.I am so tired of them, dont know what to do.I think marriage is a pain if you are surrounded by these sorts of people.I tried to give due respect to them and I do feel pity on them but then thir behaviour lets me down.Now the situation is such though we are staying under one roof but we dont have feeling for each other.She will keep on talking about her daughters and her chilldren.Though she is with us but her mind and soul is with her daughters and their families.Help me out I want get rid of them.
LN replied.
And gone are the days when MILs allowed them to be treated as strangers in their own houses by newly arrived DILs & mistreated by them.
Todays modern age MILs don' t get treated like doormats by their sons' wives.

Why should the sons' treat their wives like queens and forget all their parents have done for them simply because they are married?

The thought itself is highly despicable and such wicked women including you are not worthy of any sympathy & love.

Such women shouldn' t get married and should live all-alone in some house where they can rot.

LN replied. Hey what has happened to all the Indian women here , how can you even suffer at the hands of inlaws when you spent a considerable portion of your married life away from her.
You are staying with your MIL ( yes thats the way you should speak and not the the other way around , its the kids who will always live with their parents and not other way aroung because the statement that she is living with you sounds quite derogatory )
She is staying with you only for past 8 yrs and that too because of some health problem and you didn' t even feel necessary to mention the specific detail implying that you really don' t care about her health.
Also , she talks about her daughters all the time , that is completely fine for a mother to do so out of concern and this is also because they live away from her . This should hardly be a cause of any concern to you until & unless you are jealous of your own sisters-in-law.
Please don' t keep your children away from them because you are instilling & promoting wrong values in your own kids.
And never ever say that \" I want to get rid of them \" because this statement is the most shocking , rude and offensive statement that one can make.
How can someone think of getting rid of one' s own parents and parents-in-law.
Parents have every right to get angry iwth their adult children but adult children shouldn' t be angry with their own parents.
Your husband' s parents are like your own parents so please honour them , I hope you & your kids don' t neglect your husband' s mother as she is suffering from a health problem.
What if your kids and their spouses one day say that they want to get rid of you (their own mother or mother in law) , how would you feel at that point of time.
So , please refrain from making such offensive statements about your own parents-in-law.
And if you can' t get along with your in laws , then divorce your husband and stay alone but don' t try to snatch away your husband from his mother. Don' t come between a mother & his son.
Learn to be a Home Maker & not a Home Breaker.
NM replied. Hi Suman,dont worry, be happy. Did you ever spoke with your husband abt this? what he has to say?Do not ever try to please your in laws, cause they have decided not to be happy. No matter what you do for them, they will always find fault in you. Better and the best solution is, just give them a DAMM CARE attitude. Ignore then to the core. If you think abt them, and react to there tantrums, you have given them right to control you. No one can harm you unless you allow them. Enjoy with your kids. If they are grwon up, get involved in there life. Make friends, go out. Live your life.