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Joint Family:What should i do?
2010-11-29
Name: A



My in laws had to struggl for living during their hay days so they made money by doing lot of things for living. Now after being well to do due to their son' s earning they live life to the fullest. I have never showed dislike when my husband spends for them. He also likes to spend fo my parents, but since my parents are no so well to do i did not always encourge my husband towards spending for them. I dont want my parens to get used to luxurious life which we canot promise them fo ever. We meet my parents ,gift them once a while nd call them for occassions etc.. Now i am unable to see my in laws literally asking each and everything from my husband fr everything. We tke cre of the entire household exp,gifts,investments,salary of household and even thei vacation tickets to cotly gifts of their nearest relatives. My in laws earn a handsome pension and use it only for their spending for leisure over and above wat we spend for them.
I am a fairly homely young mother . I like updating myself learn new thngs.But I hae started contrling my feelings ,expeses etc...thinking it
will reduce financial burden on my husband.
Even by spending prudently my husband' s money my in laws dont seem to be gettin the hint. They intead tease me that i am a miser.
Daily mil goes out leaving chores for me, and i like doing house work so i dont retaliate even though it hinders with my prsonal work. I am still not given authoriy in our home where they r living wih us. She gets to decide most things. I hv remanind passive all thru to maintain peace at home since she has th habit of shouting and disrespecting in front of others. She talks very sweetly before othrs and shows she gives me equal opportuniy. I hv understood early that pleasing dosnot help, being passive does not help,but i am just not getting courage to speak up fo myself excpt to my husband. Talking things to him hs only made him talk less with me in this regard. I am doing the exected work and i just have necessary dialogues at home whenver required. I try to be away after tht work is over in some othr room. Wn her relatives visiti be with them briefly, offer food,and then move away.
But my husband is increasinly getting irritated with my attitude and says we shal move from here. This has bad effects on everything excep my peace of mind. Our big house will be under their control,but continue to be paid by us, school will suffer,most important my husbands work place will badly suffer, all their relatives will make my house their home. What should i do?
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