Relationships  Discussion Forum

its 6 mths of my marriage but my wife just doesnt get adjusted to her new home, we are 5 members, us, my parents and my brother. she constantly says she wants to go to her parents house, she wants to settle her parents, she doesnt like this place, its like a jail , doent like food, way of living etc. althopugh i know we have a comfortable life. one day she would be good but every alternate days she becomes dejected. i have no problems with issues but why she should say that this house is like lodge, food is bad, every thing is bad. she says that she cant concentrate since she only thinks abt her parents. i know its difficult to adjust so what steps should i take ? r replied. its arranged marriage, another complain is that at her house her relatives ie her mom side cousins etc used to stay in same building , so she says that it was one big family ( she is a single child) but here we are just 5 and here all are working, ( she is doin her pg) and normally we dont have relatives visiting etc. every time she talks of her cousins brothers , uncles aunties etc etc and says she misses all of them !! Mel replied. Is it her first time away from home ? Maybe she' s just home sick.

You need to do two things. One... put a little effort to try and get her to be comfortable, take her out for a movie once a week, or a meal out, just the two of you, spend some time like husband and wife, talk, laugh, make it more interesting. And she can go home once a month or one in a few months, if her parents are far away.

Two... you also need to tell her (kindly, please), that this is HER house too. Just as her parents house will always be her house, this too, is her house. And, she should be a little less judgmental about it. It is YOUR home, and it hurts to hear negative things about it, just as it would hurt her if you spoke that way about her parents house. Also, she is not a guest, so if she doesn' t like the food, how about she start cooking food of her choice, or train the cook to make a few dishes of her style ?

Don' t be mean, as she may be homesick. Help her transition. And remind her, that most hubbies wont be so patient, but you understand her plight, and want to help her adjust.

At the same time, don' t baby her, and give her her way everytime, or else she will sit on your head. I also think that NO ONE (husband or wife) has the right to belittle, criticise or comment on the other' s home / way of life. P replied. I feel its high time that u talk to her parents. Sort it out in front of her parents.