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Womens Issues:Behaviour

2006-07-07

Name: sadhana Hi,

I am a 23 year old lady, married 1 1/2 yr before and recently blessed with a male child. I am working in a MNC since 2 years. At the time of my appointment i was very much new to the corporate behaviour and i was behaved very unnaturally with my colleagues. I was bought up in a very orthodox family from my child hood and my family is very systematic in every thing. Now i have got a very loving and caring hubby and he a very nice and matured guy...I behaved very worstly with the guys in my office and still i m continuing in the organisation as if nothing happened earlier...Becoz of the financial returs i m getting in that office. Now i cannot suddenly stop working unless and until i get better oppurtunity and i am unable to work becoz when ever i find those guys in the office i am ashamed of my self and getting very much insulted...tel me what is should i do now?

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Hi,

I am a 23 year old lady, married 1 1/2 yr before and recently blessed with a male child. I am working in a MNC since 2 years. At the time of my appointment i was very much new to the corporate behaviour and i was behaved very unnaturally with my colleagues. I was bought up in a very orthodox family from my child hood and my family is very systematic in every thing. Now i have got a very loving and caring hubby and he a very nice and matured guy...I behaved very worstly with the guys in my office and still i m continuing in the organisation as if nothing happened earlier...Becoz of the financial returs i m getting in that office. Now i cannot suddenly stop working unless and until i get better oppurtunity and i am unable to work becoz when ever i find those guys in the office i am ashamed of my self and getting very much insulted...tel me what is should i do now? Sheetal replied. hi,
sadhana i dont think you were wrong to the extent to feel guity or soemthing. u aviod those guys what difference does it make what they feel and think. you enjoy ur work and family. See everyone is more matured today then yesterday,dont you think so? this is life time change so does people.dont worry about what u did and what you should have done. all the best and take care. ss replied. Ignore those guys or colleagues..They are not the ones who pay you?...Enjoy your baby,Have nice time with your hubby. sim replied. Sadhana,
I think, I didnt full understand what was the behaviour that hurt ur colleagues? did they express tht u hurt them?
Are they ignoring u presently?
are they not being friendly?

If u can tell things elobarating, we can understand situation.
Escaping form that office out of ur guilty is not a good idea. We can not escape from situation ,instead owning situations is always a better idea.
U just forget what has happened with u and behave well wit them .
But dont be toomuch obedient and leniant to get good name now. Because I saw many people behaving out of way to prove tey r sorry for past rude behaviour .But that gives an impression thatr \";Ok, now set right ,someone bent herdown ,Good for us \";/.... Comments goes on...
So be urself and behave well but donot feel guilty for others. They r not gonna accompany u for lifeloong.
Their impression toward you is nothing to do with ur present or future life. Past is Past,

2006-07-09

Name: Sheetal
Subject:

No u r not wrong

hi,
sadhana i dont think you were wrong to the extent to feel guity or soemthing. u aviod those guys what difference does it make what they feel and think. you enjoy ur work and family. See everyone is more matured today then yesterday,dont you think so? this is life time change so does people.dont worry about what u did and what you should have done. all the best and take care.

2006-07-07

Name: ss
Subject:

Hey Sadhana,

Ignore those guys or colleagues..They are not the ones who pay you?...Enjoy your baby,Have nice time with your hubby.

2006-07-07

Name: sim
Subject:

probably

Sadhana,
I think, I didnt full understand what was the behaviour that hurt ur colleagues? did they express tht u hurt them?
Are they ignoring u presently?
are they not being friendly?

If u can tell things elobarating, we can understand situation.
Escaping form that office out of ur guilty is not a good idea. We can not escape from situation ,instead owning situations is always a better idea.
U just forget what has happened with u and behave well wit them .
But dont be toomuch obedient and leniant to get good name now. Because I saw many people behaving out of way to prove tey r sorry for past rude behaviour .But that gives an impression thatr \";Ok, now set right ,someone bent herdown ,Good for us \";/.... Comments goes on...
So be urself and behave well but donot feel guilty for others. They r not gonna accompany u for lifeloong.
Their impression toward you is nothing to do with ur present or future life. Past is Past,

2006-07-09

Name: sadhana
Subject:

thanks

Extremely happy reading ur replies..thanks for sparing ur valuable time and suggesting me....

Coming to the doubts raised by Sim, earlier to my marriage, i behaved with guys .....i a very childishly like cracking jokes and hanging out etc... after my marriage i changed totally like limiting my life to my hubby, career, my child and my work and nothing else....as u said sim, those guys are now feeling that i was hyper- active girl and now behaving too SMART.....and to be frank , as i am recollecting the past...i am also feeling that my behaviour was so worst and unnatural and feeling too guilty...now i came to know how a matured guy sud behave with outside society and how a married lady sud behave...all these things are making me so unbalanced and i am totally lost my so called peace-of-mind...

Really thanks a lot and ur suggestions are like doctors prescriptions to the patient......

2006-07-07

Name: Sim
Subject:

also,

I assume, u behaved with them reserved as if u give them chance they might trap u...If that was ur behaviour to them...stay cool. It doesnt mean u r entering corporate office, u have to be outspoken to every guy. U have right on ur feelings and u can avoid some guys. That never makes them think bout u ,"uncultured girl" .u were not uncultured but were little reserved to them. So, dont be ashamed of ur self ,feeling guilty.
I was assuming because, till my marriage this was my behaviour to guys and I never was rude but used to avoid every guy whether in college or office.
Later after getting married, Whenever I remember my behhviour I feel childish myself but never felt ashamed because no one got hurt but must have commented in my back .But was in respectAble position that none could think to comment or compliment in front of me.
So, Sadhana,If it was not the case and something else ur behaviour was , same advise not to be ashamed and not feeling guilty works out for u to feel urself better.

Thanks for reading,
Sim.

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