Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,

I am new visitor of this site. seen many problem around almost in every topic here. so required your great help in my problem also.

I am working woman married 2.5 years back. our was arranged marriage my husband told me everything about their status i.e like how his father comes from village and started working in Delhi and how they managed to buy own flat in delhi. Initially i thought that he is very faithful and simple that he told me everything but now i think that was just because i belong to more financially sound family than him. so he was making his point very clear in front of me about his status and all. when we got engaged than my parents told me that he has very small house and we don’t know how you managed but still i said yes because when my husband met me first time he told me that they are seeing bigger house so i thought if he had said to me than i should not worry for this. When i got married than i shifted to that room which was build in their terrace one small room with attached small bathroom. Then we went for our honeymoon, after returning i placed all my things properly in that room. i was waiting that my husband or MIL keep all the belonging of my husband like cloths etc in my room. But nobody initiated as I was new to that house so I kept mum for hoping that one day he will come and share everything. After sometime i told my husband to shift in bigger flat or else shift here in my room because I feel that this room is totally mine I mean he only comes at night after having dinner. Actually I prepare food in kitchen which built in original flat with my MIL. He eat and then go for sleep in my room ( I prefer to call it my room) in morning I wake up and then go to neeche wala kicten for preparing lunch for us and then come again in my room for dressing up and go for office meanwhile my husband wake up and come down for freshen up and get ready for his office. Somehow I manage to survive in this condition as I don’t want to indulge in fights wid my husband and MIL. But now I am planning to have a kid and somehow we haven’t succeed yet so that frustration included with frustration of the flight we usually have wid my MIL and husband that turns into deep frustration in my mind. And I can tell u blast in small issues just because of this. I have told so many times to my husband to shift in nearby area but he is not ready, I told him to buy bigger flat but he is not making efforts for this, I told him to shift in rented flat with everyone but he is not ready .and just because of this we fight and my MIL gets advantage of this for being good mother. Now I make all the compromises but still I am in the same level where I have started. No result, nothing ……….. I am fed up please help me wid good suggestion what I have to do. I thought if I get my own child then I would be busy wid him/her but god is not listening to me. Now please help me what to do.. I can’t ignore the situation and I am not able to live in that situation. Otherwise my husband loves me a lot but he is lacking wid his decision-making power. Other issues are very small in front of this because I think 80 of my problem is that my husband is not sharing everything wid me except sleeping . Please tell me solution. PLEASE HELP ME WID THE SOULTION
Prreti replied. You know what...I feel all men lack decision-making power. I would suggest, Please dont be upset about not having achild now, as it will surely happen. But first you need to settle down with your husband.
As a wife, i can suggest you just 1 thing, try to be more sweeter in front of him, maybe try to get him more attached to you, spend some time alone with him, and make him feel that he should spend more time with you, I mean he should enjoy your company then his parents.Once that is done, I am sure he will automatically shift his belongings to your room so that he gets a chance to see amd spend more time with you. I hop this works. Good Luck. prada replied. Dimple ,you said you are planning a kid.I think you better postpone this idea of having a baby untill your husband comes to your terms.You may straight away tell him ' why don' t you think about shifting,then I' ll think about getting the baby into the house.Or the baby may think ' If I have to see my papa,then I have to wait till night' ' .If this doesn' t work do not drag it too far .If luck favours the baby himself may make your husband change his mind,coz you said , your husband loves you a lot. Dimple replied. I had share my problem to all of you just to get the valuable suggestion from you . but i think everybody are so busy no one here is ready to help me . please i request all of you to please suggest me wid propoer solution.