Relationships  Discussion Forum

If you have some bright valuable suggestions give it to her.If you don't shut up.
If you are that logical,why doesn't it serve your tiny brain that there is something called as a day care center.And you are only stuck up on NYC and Boston,I have two tiny kids of my own so if you want to keep harping on and on and on about how difficult it is go ahead.

The only logical thing I can conclude is you have no tips ,no suggestions and another main thing that in one of the previous posts I had disagreed with your point of view regarding Love marriage Vs arranged marriage,so its just another 'gonna get back at you' kind of thing that is going on here.
You still haven't given her any kind of reasonble or valuable tips.
And as usual the pathetic man mentality where she is supposed to only try and save her marriage(nowhere in my comments have i asked her to give up on her marriage)whether her husband cares for her or not.
With your limited amount of stay in very few places in the U.S this is all you can provide I guess.
Once again looks like you only want to win an argument (whether you sound logical or not,again the man mentality).
You being a man its so sad that you are unable to even sound logical in your arguments.

FYI if you haven't read the post properly here it goes again she has not asked how to salvage her marriage but she has asked tips to get rid of her boredom and keep herself busy:
"he is out of the house 11 hrs a day.i stay inside the house6 days a week.cause i don,t have a car.my life is so boring and frustating.i don,t know wht to do with my life.only thing makes me feel happy is my two boys.i love them to death thats the reason i can,t end my life.but can somebody tell how keep myself happy and bussy beside enjoying wth my kids.i need serious help.some good suggestion."

FYI, I am a man, and I don't live in the US anymore. You might have been content travelling by bus and visiting the local library, but I am sure what a pain it is esp. if you are living in California. And how is Preeti going to deal with her two boys? Take them along in the bus to the library? Who's going to babysit them there? Just think about the logistics of all that for a moment.

I don't know why she doesn't have a car of her own. Unless she is scared of driving or something like that, it is quite callous and irresopnsible of her husband to have not provided her with her own means of transport. Unless, of course, she lives in a place like NYC or Boston as I had indicated.

And why do you think volunteering is going to be a substitute for her husband's apathy? It might be a temporary diversion, but in the end, she should take efforts to strengthen her marriage, not just look for ways of distraction from the main issue.

Hi Priti,

Why dont you take up a small job where u can do from home where u can keep urself occupied and not think about other problems.

I have to agree with shweta, just go on and concentrate on yourself.
Have the seen the movie Mitr? If not I suggest u watch it. it was along similar lines to what u'r facing.
Just think of your hobbies and try to cultivate them. and you'll be more happy I'm sure.
Just prioritise yourself as well.
Take care & good luck. :)
Love,
Sunshine

May I ask why your husband acts indifferently towards you???

It would be helpful to know a little bit more with examples.

Even otherwise,when you go shopping you can turn to interior decoration,you know accessorizing your house.If you like to read books you have Barnes and Noble in mostly every city in U.S or access to library is free mostly allover U.S.

Another tip,you often get some shows like Martha Stewart shows where you get to learn how to decorate your plain ordinary looking lamps,knitting,painting etc...
Maybe you could do voluntary work where you help or do some voluntary work for free....I think if you go to the website called as volunteermatchdotcom.....you could search for voluntary work in your area.

Try not to be bothered by your husband for sometime and get yourself involved in such things or at least search for diploma courses in your city and see what courses you would like to go to.There are lots of local buses even if you ask your house leasing office, people would gladly help you about which no. buses you should take to go to and fro.....in that way you could also take your sons and have fun amongst yourselves...
When slowly your husband observes that you are not dependent on him for fun he will slowly start getting drawn towards you dear.Dress yourself up ,put on some make up,go for a hair cut and look and feel different.

These are the tips that I can offer.
Life is not that bad as you feel,there are ups and downs in life and its only the ones that are strong that find their way back.Take it as a challenge and try to get your husband interested in you and your family.Even in the night before you go to sleep splash on some moisturizing cream and go off to sleep.When he comes back let him feel that you are very busy and also look good and happy.When he feels left out from the fun that you have with your kids he will slowly get drawn and want to get back in the group.Don't worry dear you are going to be fine.Stay strong and above all have faith.

I have to differ with shweta on her suggestions of doing interior decoration, and similar stuff. If she has serious problems with being lonely and ignored by her husband, doing floral arrangements at home is NOT going to solve it. C'mon, she probably lives in a rented apt., and how long do you think she is going to be spending doing all the interior arranging? Same thing with volunteering etc. - unless one has ones heart and mind in it, volunteering because thats the only thing she could do, is NOT the answer.

Having lived in the US, I could understand what she's going through. My main advice to her would be to find the means to be mobile on her own- if she is not in a city with good public transport such as NYC or Boston, I would strongly encourage her to get a car first, so she could be on her own.

Also she could do diploma courses, but only if they would help her with her future in some way or the other, and not just to deal with boredom.

But most importantly, she needs more attention from her husband. A lot of couples fall into the trap where the husband becomes so engrossed with his work and starts to take the wife for granted, esp. after kids. I have myself seen many couples in the US undergo this. In some cases, the wives are able to deal with this (esp., if they work or are socially active), but in other cases the wives get withdrawn and depressed. In the latter cases, the husband isn't even aware of their wives' predicament. It is important for the wife to communicate to the husband, and not assume they will figure out (men are poor mind readers in general). Maybe she could take up activities which also involve her husband, rather than going solo. This would strengthen the bond and find a way back to a good relationship, rather than finding a way out of the monotony.