Relationships  Discussion Forum

My problem is my inlaws they have very subtly made my daughter feel that i and my husband are useless compared to them and their married daughter who stays with us with her daughter for her (SIL's daughter)education. Now my daughter who is 3 years old prefers my sil's company to mine. She is also mentally moving away from her father to whom she was very attached to.

How do i convience my daughter that we are her parents after all and that she has to care for us. Anika replied. Hi jayshree,
Can I give you the other side. Maybe u r just feeling insecure. I am an aunt and when my neice was born and was 2 yrs old we all dotted on her and...she loved me a lot...basically because i played with her and did fun stuff and most importantly i was not discipling her...hey...after all i was the aunt...anyway..what i'm trying to say is that u r the mother...u will always remain that...and love for mom is always more special than love for any aunt...however fun. This is a phase...she might like her aunt a lot....but that doesn't mean that she doesn't love u. All children go through phases..sometimes they love their dad's more than their moms and sometimes vice versa.....pls don't take it to heart....i'm 100% sure by the end of the day u'r daughter will love u and u'r husband the most. After all parents r parents and aunts r aunts. In the mean time...maybe u and u'r husband can try getting some quality time together with her.....like at night..either u or u'r hubby read/ narrate bed time story (make that a ritual)...take her to the zoo, picnic, parks, fairs..etc.
Every child feels that their parents r the best in the world....i'm sure u'r child will feel that too. deepa replied. hi jayashree,
The only thing u can do about this is be more close to ur daughter. She's just 3 years old, so I dont think she can really agree to the fact that u r useless. Try to be with her most of the time u can. Dont let her always be in the company of ur sil. If u r not a working lady, then its to ur advantage. U and ur husband should try to take ur daughter for walks, outings, picnics, movies, etc. If possible, see what ur sil does which she enjoys. I mean to say, for eg., maybe ur sil sings poems to her or something like that which makes her company even more enjoyable for ur daughter. So once u know that, u try singing and teaching poetry to ur daughter urself. So just keep a watch and check what she likes and do it urself with her. And also get ur husband involved in all this stuff. I'm sure very soon she will be clinging to u both always. Hope it helps. Do let me know if u liked my suggestion and also if it works.