Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi all,
I have been married for 8 years. I have problem with my MIL & SIL. since I am very sensitive to bad comments, I get tensed with my MIL & SIL'S comments, b'coz of thier jealous.my sil stays with her kids with my in-laws, b'coz she doesn't have good schools for her kids near to her husbands house. so they both get together make bad discussions on my back. she throws bad dialogue, when ever I buy jewellery or dress for me, b'coz she can't afford to buy one. they even jealous I live aboard living luxury life than them or my husband loves me or i eat better food than them etc..etc...sometimes I wonder how cheap these people are???..if it stops only up to this I would have adjusted some how...but there is more..I have been faceing infertility problem ..& my MIL is very happy about this!!!...& she is scared to death,that I am going to have children in future!!!...(I came to know this by her conversation & body language). my mom passed away last year b'coz of cancer, I got deeply hurt..she was the only person I had to share my feelings.since I don't have any sisters or close mom's relatives ...weirdest thing is my MIL is very happy about this , that I don't have anyone.she was very happy when she discovered my mom has cancer...since than I felt like she broke my heart completely, towards her..I showing started my attitude too...but sad thing is my husband don't believe all these, since they act really well in front of him.no matter how much I break my head ..try to tell him, he will not listen to me...he will say\"; they are my mom & sis, I know them better, you don't have to tell me..\"; or \"; even though they are like that, you have to adjust it, I can't change my sis or mom\";... he forces me to stay with him in his house, when ever we go to india which is totally uncomfortable to me to stay..some times I feel like I can't trust him too..b'coz this time when we went to india, I went & stayed in my fathers house, they filled up his ears about me..& that leads us into fight several times. and also once they were commenting bad things about me with my uncle, he was sitting & listening & didn't stop them(I came to know about this from my uncle). some times I feel like he lies to me about them..b'coz of this I get upset, he was the only person I have got ..i love ..& he is not with me.so friends, any suggestions or comments to make my life better??? thank you... sunita replied. Thank you, Deepa, sonia, friend...thank you for your reply, I am feeling lot better now.I try to follow you guys advice..
sunita. deepa replied. hi sunitha dear,

i really sympathise with u and the situation in which u are. but u have to be strong..and believe me u will be the happiest person....first of all since u r abroad u r a lucky dame to be away from ur cruel inlaws..so when u r not in india try to be happy and dont think about all this nonsense....secondly during that period try to be really good to ur hubby...make him urs..please him by taking good care of him, cooking good food and giving all the love and care that he needs.Very important thing to do during that time is be diplomatic and talk all good things bout ur mil & sil..tell that they r so nicw & caring..and once in a while purchase a saree or a dress or whatever u get there while shopping and show it to ur hubby and tell him that u have got it for ur mil and sil..ur hubby will start loving u all the more...when ur down in india...be strict with ur in laws or however u want..but be good to them in front of ur hubby...at nights tell all good things bout ur inlaws to ur hubby even if they r not good to u...and also add that they misunderstand u and that u wonder y they dont like u? so that even if they tell something to ur hubby against u in ur absence..he will know that u have already told him about this........give the gifts to them in front of ur hubby...go to ur dads place for 50% of ur vacation...and enjoy life...when u r abroad..try arranging a visa for ur dad and call him to ur place..so that u have good time with him...and since u dont have anyone close to u in india besides ur dad..u wont miss anyone if u call ur dad ther..try to have good circle of friends in ur area...and have fun with them..Enjoy life ...
do reply to me if u like my advice... sonia replied. Hi sunita,
Its sad to read about ur life. Since u are abroad, its best thing not to concentrate on ur in-laws. Let them talk whatever they want. U cannot change such people. U will just have to give a deaf ear to such things. Dont talk to them much. All husbands are the same. They dont know how their own mothers and sisters make life difficult for the dil. Or even if they know, they dont give a damn about it. So u will have to fight on ur own. If ur husband does not listen then u cant do anything. Just keep out of their way. When u go to India, stay at ur fathers atleast half of the time. Ask him why its wrong for u to stay at ur fathers place when his own sister and her kids r staying at her mothers place. If he says she has her reasons, u say u also have ur reasons. U feel uncomfortable, dont get privacy and also since u visit once in a while u want to be with ur father. Theres not much u can do to change these people. So just take a firm step to whatever u want and dont let them ruin ur life. All the best to u! Friend replied. Hi Sunitha -

I am so sorry to hear about your problems. I unfortunatley am not the right person to give you an advice because I too have similar problems. I just want to let you know that you have a friend out there to talk to if you want and hopefully the other friends on this board will be able to offer some sound advice.

Best of luck to you.