Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have been a silent reader of this forum for about a month now. Is it really ok for men to look at other women when they are with their wives and lusting after them or looking at porn or whatever kind if nudity?

Honestly, we can't say that they should be allowed to do it just because men will always be men and weaker sex?

Your indian society does not permit women doing the same thing so why should men be allowed. Isn't that double standards?

I have a few indian friends I have made a long the way and it seems that after marriage somehow their sex life is never satisfying. Either the husband feels the wife is not interested any more of vice versa. Ofcourse I don't mean to generalise but still it makes me think...can it really be that way? Amit replied. I think that if a man really loves his wife and respects her he should not drool over somone else's body. It is a natural instinct yes to look at beauty but to be outright rude about it is also not right.

I know it is easier said then done but I think sometimes a man does look at a woman in a looking way and his wife might misjudge him also. Women do get a bit sensitive, especially after child birth and all.

But all in all, if your husband's habits upset you, you should talk it out openly as many times as possible. If he genuinely cares about you, he will think twice when he sees someone more attractive.

To answer your second question..I think that even though all matters add up to a happy marriage, sex would take most priority. Especially for men, it is a need and commonly misunderstood, but the male was genetically designed to procreate. Women also have needs it's just more of an emotional need with sexual need and after marriage and children the wife just needs a little bit of pampering and more fore play instead of getting down to basics. Men don't take that into consideration. They are tired, they do more jobs than us, work, house work, looking after kids, sometimes our parents. So a little bit of affection and understanding goes a long way. Woman replied. unsatisfied sex lives is a common problem that exists in all the societies...But In Indian society after marriage men or woman think twice or even thrice or more time before ending their marriage on that basis.Only very few really boldly do it.
In western culture sex life plays is very important part in any courtship or marriage relation between man-woman.
Even before marriage if one of them think that he or she is not satisfied then they end it then and there.They are beign open about it even after marriage if one partner looses interest and are ready to end the marriage if they think that their spouse is trying to cheat them or have lost interest in them or even vice versa(if they have lost interest)..
But an average Indian man or woman can only fight argue but not think about ending their marriage on that basis..Never!.So men end up looking/trying to flirt at other woman and woman fight about it and viceversa.
So from far it looks like Indian Men/Woman kep complaining about unsatisfied sex lives...
Hope you got my point..If i keep writing more looks like I will stray away from what I wanted to say:)
Anyway good question Samantha!. bhavana replied. Dear samantha,
Its not that its ok for men to do the kind of things they do.Its just that its a worldwide phenomenon.
Unfortunately as we rushing through the 21st century the basic needs of men don't change.Its not that women don't do it but somehow it never comes to light.
And yes also the constant drilling done by our elders that men have the right to do all the things they want to while women have to stick by and look the other way can't be of much help
Its not an Indian thing it happens every where.
But there ar things that don't change, so either you accept it or one has to teach their man a lesson or two.But generally women look the other way after sometime.
Thanks. Mehek replied. You can't say that only indian ppl have problems with their sex lives. I know of lots of other nationality people too who have problems. It is unfair to think only indians have these problems. Seema replied. Well you are right when you say that it is double standards but why worry about things you can't change and not in your control. We may discuss here and come up with all sorts of solutions but it is not going to change the way men think or behave.

I used to get so cross when my hubby looked at other women. I would confront him there and then and he would completely deny looking at them and act as if I am crazy. It never stopped and in the end I used to get upset more than anything else. So now I have stopped and decided to ignore the matter.

Sometimes just to spite him I look at guys too...and even though he doesn't say anything I know inside he is a bit J. Like they say...if you can't win against them...join them! After all he is also getting a taste of his own medicine and realise how it feels!

Ria replied. Good question although it is not only indian men who look at women all men do..white, black, green, yellow...(don't mean to sound racist here). They do it over and over again so I guess it has been labelled that they are naturally supposed to do it.

Women on the other hand are raised to follow guide lines of proper behaviour. If a woman (married or not married) so much as dates or talks about guys or a relationship or attraction towards the opposite sex she is immediately labelled as a slut. So over time women have grown to believe that sex is dirty, only meant for procreation etc etc.. the list is endless.

Until we find a solution...we all have to live with this!