Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am a member of a joint family. My father are 3 brothers. My father constantly gets manipulated by his elder brother who controls the joint family, morally and financially. I have complained, shouted, screamed of what is right and what is wrong. I firmly believe in what is right and what is wrong, but they believe in doing things their way. The worst part is that my father is morally very weak compared to his elder brother, whereas I can stand up to him. But if I do, then I am always told that let the elders do things their way. My father' s elder brother has a son who has gotten together with his father to make a fool of the joint family system and want to do doing things their way. We are a business family. I do not care about loss or profit but all I want is clarity in actions and in our thoughts. My father is a hard working member without whom the business would not be where it is today, but he is a weak person when it comes to dealing with his brother. I feel that children of a joint family system always loose their family and their parents. I feel like leaving the family and going abroad with my wife and child. Please advice. Rita replied. I sense that you have pride and self-respect and I admire that in you. You are right to stand up to your uncle, as you are entitled to be treated as an equal. I am sorry to hear that your father is weak-willed and easily manipulated.

Right now, I don' t think it is a good idea to immigrate to foreign in search of jobs. At present, economy in Europe is not so good. It' s the same in USA. Many jobs are lost as several factories are moving to Asia for cheaper labour. I' m from Ireland and I can tell you that things are not so good here. Besides, the living standards in some western countries are too costly and as result, several migrant workers have left for other countries or returned home. High rents, less-paying jobs, long hours labour, etc.

Where you are, you have opportunities - golden opportunities. Many factories from Europe and USA are moving to India, and thereby, more workers will have more money to spend and waste. You have got the booming economy in India. There, you make money.
It might be a good idea if you look for a new home for yourself, your wife and child. Once you have your own place, you can easily set up your own business and run it from HOME. What products should you produce and sell? There are loads of ideas for home-based business. Type home-based business on Google. Type also ideas for home-based business. There, you' ll see several pages with thousands of ideas, also some pages for stay-at-home mothers, even some things that your wife might like to do and can easily do.

From home, your wife can bake breads, cakes or pastries and sell them to restaurants and hotels. For less labour, she can try home-made ice creams and sweets (or candies). You can try metalworks, candle-making, soap-making, beauty products, jewellery making, whatever you like.
You start your business with any meagre amount of money and build up your business. Here is my motto - start small, build big.
I have enough business experiences to advise you on things, as I work for my ageing parents, helping them to run their 50 year old business. We trade in bicycles, ceramics, souvenirs, giftwares, fishing equipments, etc.

If you are thinking of any home-based business, you are going to need some skills that help run your business. For example, you need to learn to do accounting. Also, you need to learn how to budget for your business and home and forecast your spending for months ahead. More than that, you need managerial skills, negotiating skills, communicating skills, etc. You can learn business skills/studies online or at college. Another, be in a constant habit of MAKING PLANS on papers. On papers, you must plan your business for now and for next the five years, plan your budgets, forecast your spending for weeks/months ahead. Lastly, you might consider allowing your wife and child to learn the rope of your business. It' s always good to have them helping you run your business. Besides, it helps take the pressure off you. So, that way, you don' t overwork yourself or get too stressed out. Your health is your wealth.

a few questions. What kind of business does your uncle operate? What skills or talents do you have?
niyathi replied. hi,

gud that u r supporting ur dad, but i dont think going abroad would solve any problem here. I know its difficult to stay in joint family after getting married, i would suggest u to look for another house near ur parents place, and then help ur dad to move out of the business by taking his share .. or you can go abroad like for a year or two, if not permanent. coz one day or other ur parents need you, thats when they will realize ur importance