hi, So i'm 21 weeks,. It's ben a months since my hubby and i made love,I finally asked him whats wrong and he said taht my body doens't turn him on anymore,he said i have love handles and starting to look like my mother. I will admit that i am a little bit heavy but no so much taht it should cause this reaction from him. This is our second child and we never had an issue about sex b4.
He also said that becasue i don't have as firm breast as i did when we were married. I know he likes Skinny women,but i can't do anything about it now being pregnant, i want to have a healthy baby. i do walk almost everyday. and i admit there are times when i don't do anything. It just hurt to know that my husband thinks of me this way. He did apologized to me a few days ago and said he didn't meant forit to sound they way it did, that he just wants me to be in shape, but i don't know what to do. Yesterday after droping of my 2 yr old at school i went to the gym and brisk walk for 30 minutes, then at lunch time i did 15 minutes of cardio anf in the evening after dinner i went back to the gym and walked for 20 minuutes.This morning i walked for 1 hour with a neighbor.
I feel as though i should be on a strick diet and and when the baby comes try my best to lose as much weight as i can. I'm just really upset about this, i act like everything is fine withus but when i'm by myself i cry alot and wonder what could i do to make hime what to make love to me. I did go out and buy some toys, but i miss My hubby .i asked him if he is having an affair ( not as thought people would find him all that attractive) he said no i believe him. but i know he looks at some of the skinny women he works with and it crosses his mind..
Please give me some good advice as to how not to let this bother me so much..

Lisa soni replied. Hi Lisa,
I am from the Dec. board but when i read your mesg. couldn't stop myself.
Since You are very emotional plus you are pregnant .Espicially you are pregnant your hormons are high and so you are sensitive and very emotional at this stage so when some one even jokes you take it serisously and it seems you are depress over something which is not a very seriouse issue.It seem to me he is more nervouse making love to you since you are preg. and it take a mans gut to accept what he really feels so is just gave you redicul reason so that he will not feel bad about himself but he forgot your feeling on the way.Well i am not surprise from his act.Believe me 99% men do fantasice about sexy girls (not only when the wife is preg.)just for a moment of pleasure but will always settle down for a women who takes care of him and his children.Very rarely they will admit that coz they don't want to show there guilt.
I don't understand just because you want to please your husband you went so extra miles forgetting that little one who will look and is looking at you for his/her development.You have to think about your baby and your health at this stage.You have to be a strong mom then some emotional rack you have to be stronge and fair for your own kids .
If i would be you i will also tell him clearly how he made me feel ? and he should have been more respectful of the situation then being real jerk.Leave for yourself also dear.
Enjoy you pregnancy and think about your first kid who will have a company at home.
Have a night out with nice dinner.Take time alone for a walk (instead of walking with neighbour )plan for the future baby to come .We talk even the painful time with kid in laughter Since i am bless I love my blessing .
take care feel better
enjoy being preg. Since you are the one who have the oppertunity alone
soni
archie replied. Lisa,
The issue is more complicated than you presented here. It does not seem like he is concerned about your health and that you should not get affected by intercourse or sort of adventure during pregnancy. Also he does not have a side of being not so easy and discomforting due to changes occuring in your body. Rather more of him looking at you as a mother, which by the way is absolute fact. At the same time he has forgotten other side of this coin is that he too is \";father\";, regardless if he looks unmarried or old enough to call father looks. It is sad to note that when it comes to description of hot or beautiful model to enjoy intimacy they have not included pregnancy phase in it and believe it or not from all the pregnant couples over 99% cases made this choice. I personally don't appreciate thought of buying fact that \";you looks like mother and it does not turn him on\";. I am not asking him being a mechanical as well but there sure is something wrong with his thinking. Remind him, he is responsible for the looks you have got today, you weren't like this before marriage and he would not have married you otherwise if your looks did not turn him on!
I am deeply saddened with his philosphy and being apologitic without coming out and helping you get over crisis.

I am certain that sex isn't every couple would enjoy during pregnancy but love which is not only sex does not change due to body change that occurs during pregnancy. I think man should love his women more intensely as she is going through many changes and she needs more moral and emotional support during pregnancy than ever before.

By the way, let me also state some of your wrong doings! Because you want to attaract your husband for sexual intercourse you suddently went on extreme type of exercise, if you did not do it until yesterday in this pregnancy then what you did in a day to pacify him and turning him on is just not fair for growing baby. Don't over do with exercise, you don't want to deliver baby ahead of time, do you?

Also why are you thinking of sacrificing diet? Is it not this is your baby and you want this baby to be healthy and get all nutrients she/he deserves for?

Are you choosing between husband and baby? By the way nature has not left you opt for husband not only until after childbrith but until you totally breastfeed this baby.

Do not be silly and trusting each word like God's word. First of all you should not think he has an affair, because he likes skinny girl. Determine yourself to be one of his dream dall once you wean this baby. Make hims realize he is a father of two kids and he has responsibilities, which he must place them on priority. He can glare or stair at any skinny girl, his problem. There is nothing wrong in appreciating beauty but make sure he gets you help at home and does his job of being father.
Tell him donating sperm in parenting process is not the end of fatherhood, it's rather beginning of process.

Think with cool head and have a talk with him. Should he not be interested in intercourse persuade him for some sensual dinner, intimate moments, I am sure each loving couple just want to be in intimacy regarless whether her body allows to adventure intercourse or not. Make sure he think with brain only!

Archie