Not Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi
I am having 15 month old baby boy. Now I guess I am pregnant . It was unplanned. Myself and my husband are not ready for second baby now. First thing is just now only we have come to USA and not settled here. Second is I am really getting tired running behind my son ,coookin ,cleanin etc..
So I donno whether i can take care of myself well during pregnancy if i stay in USA.
We are not stabilized financially here to get our parent during delivery .
All these things are making us confuse to have this baby or abort. I feel really pain at heart to go for aborting as I know how wonderful feelin of motherhood.
How can I naturally abort ? I am having papayya and taking hot water bath..is there anything else i can do?
rs replied. Hi Sweety,
Right now I am 6 weeks pregnant and I have a 24 months old boy and I live in USA. I am working here and my job includes lots of air travelling. For now we think we are not ready for another baby as no one is coming for my delivery from india and I don' t think i can handle 2 babies and my job.Please advise me what to do.I have scheduled for abortion this saturday. dee replied. Hi sweety, i don' t know if you get this message in time or not, I do understand a mother' s feeling at time of abortion but I tell you seeing your circumstances, you should abort your current pregnancy...although in any case it is your and your husband' s decision totally, b' coz now you' ll be aborting an unborn child and after birth if you are unable to give him everything he deserves, you' ll feel more sick and uncomfortable.. sweety replied. Hey
I am very much thankful to you both for such an wonderful reply.
VA gal, ur words are touching and i burst out in cry. Jhumri you made things clear to confused mom.
I think i have taken decision after reading your message. They are so effictive..Yes Va gal I have decided to leave everything on God.I am sure he will surely show me way out.
I MIGHT BE MAKING A BIG DECISION WHICH IS AFFECTING MINE AND HUSBAND CAREER. WE ARE MOVING BACK TO INDIA FOR OUR CHILDREN GOOD.
Yeah this is decision also really touch as my hubby had come here with some definite plan n future . But he is very supportive and understanding ,more ever very emotional person. When i started crying he told me nothing is important than our family.
Jhumri you are correct Cindy has point but the way she told is really bad..She could hv told it nice way as u did.
My Doc suggested for condom insted of any other things. We never went wrong except this time in all 10 yrs.
One more worry is my son is too young, so feelin bad whether i can take care of him well during my pregnancy and after delivery..
Thanks again
Jhumri replied. Personally, I couldn' t have an abortion.

Having said that, I don' t judge other people who make this choice. I think that the suffering a child goes through when they know they are unwatned and burdened their family can be worse than having the abortion.

You need to know that a lot of these ' home remedies' for having an abortion can harm you too, or you can even end up having a disabled child becuase of a failed attempt, which would be much worse for you. If you do choose an abortion, you need to do it through a qualified doctor.

You need to speak to someone other than your husband. Maybe a friend, your mother, or even a doctor. If you make this choice, you will need another person to confide in, becuase no matter what, it will be a hard choice to make and live with.

Cindy did have a point, you need to make sure that you are using contraception. Condoms and ovulation tracking are not effective enough if you seriously don' t want a child at the moment. There are many different methods that are much more effective yet still temporary, and you need to see a doctor or nurse to discuss what' s best for you, so that you don' t end up in this position in the first place.

You really need to consider the pros and cons for both decisions. If you have an abortion, will you be able to cope with it for the rest of your life? Will you be capable of telling people about it, even your children, or would you need to keep it to yourself? And if you decide to keep it, can you afford healthcare for you and both children during pregnancy, delivery and afterwards? Can you afford school, clothes, food and a home?

Whatever your deision is, you need to be sure. You need to speak to a doctor before you decide, and you need to do it properly. Virginia GAL replied. Instead of figuring out how to have an abortion, maybe it would be better just to keep the baby? I am saying this in the nicest way. What if this child, who is an investment in your life and your future, may turn out to be your best child in terms of manners, health, success, and goodness? If you abort, you will never the goodness this child may bring you and your husband, not to mention the siblings. You may not have a lot of money or financial readiness, but God provides. Believe it. He provides. So what if you are not rich or super wealthy, with time, you will be settled. Start small and build your way up. This child is a small gift, and one day it will blossom and grow, like every investment, and you will benefit from it and your whole family too God-willingly. So I think you should keep it and think about the future, not just what is infront of you now
Best Wishes :) CINDY replied. you should of thought about that before. how can u even think about abortion! people like you should get their tubes cut off!