Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi, im a single mom.I have a 2 and a half year old daughter...How should ibring her up?I want to her to be an happy child..and want to give her the best but at the same time she should not be spoiled..
How should i face the criticism of my relatives ,society.I believe in what im doing..Ive been separated for 3 years..and im in process of getting divorce...Cansome one help me
Single replied. Hi Kavya,

There are millions of women that have been through this - even Indain women that lost their husbands at a youg age.

I have a 3 year old son - I was never married in the first place - there are many of my family that I haven't seen since I had my son - but surprisingly the ones I thought would disown me have been the most supportive. His father and I broke up because he didn't want the baby and I did - I was 27 when I got pregnant - regardless of not being married I was ready, it was what I wanted.
Show your daughter what a strong woman you are - and she wll follow - go out to work, let her see that she has a stable family unit with just the two of you. Love her, but don't make her needy - show her she can do things by herself and doesn't need to be in your lap constantly - remember when you have things to do in the house there's no-one else to help (I know this sounds harsh but its the truth) so your daughter must learn to entertain herself at times - also this way when it is mummy and a baby time to play - it makes it that much more special.

As for society and what the relatives think - quite frankly my view is that my fat aunty that chooses not to see me does not pay my bills, or stay up at night if my son is sick or assist in any way with the up bringing of my child - she doesn't even pick up the phone to see if I'm still alive - so why should I care what she thinks? people who judge you probably do this to everyone - so after they've seen you around and getting on, they'll find some other poor soul to gossip about.

Having my son changed my life - I love him more than I ever imagined I would. We don't see his father because he's unreliable and kept letting us down - so until we can come to a legal agreement about access he stays away - he doesn't want to discuss it so its now been a year since we've seen him. My boy is the most popular child in the nursery - he's very confident and intelligent.

I even started dating someone that works in my building - we're getting married next year after I finish my Post-grad.

My life is good - I have no regrets - concentrate on making your home happy and safe for your daughter.

You'll be fine xxxxxxxxxxxxxx mother replied. Hi Kavya,
I am also a single mother raising my 7 year old son. The divorce process is still going on so we both seems to be in same boat.
Firstly always be confident and happy in front of your kid. Its not easy though when you have to face all the things alone but remember that your child is your highest priority. For me my son has been my biggest support and that's because he sees that I am very happy now. He feel secured when he sees a confident mom who can take up every thing with courage.
Same way you also show a strong personality of yours to your daugther. Let her feel proud of you that you are there for her always. If you are working than tell her about your office and your work, let her feel a part of your day to day work.
There are thousands of familis with single parent so there is nothing unusal about this. Same way don't ever try to express to your daughter that your's is not a complete family.
Have a faith in yourself and your decision. Don't worry about society and relatives, can they feel the same way as yours, can they felt the sufferings that you have gone through, never, so their opinion is not even worth talking.

Regards,
-a mother