Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am at a breaking point in my relationship. I have been married for 5 years & have a 3.5 yr old son. Ours was a love marriage. I am from a nuclear family & I work & earn well. My in-laws stay with us & so does my BIL & SIL. Hubby' s family had financial problems from the beginning & my hubby used to borrow money to take care of liabilities which was never returned. I never complained since I considered it as part of my duty. I' ve had a decent relationship with MIL & FIL. THings changed dramatically after my BIL' s marriage a year ago. SIL is extremely lavish in her spendings. She also works though she edoes not earn much. We' ve never communicated much with each other. She spends all her free time either shopping or with her parent' s family. She dose not speak to me much but has a great relationship with MIL. Now, after their marriage, I feel extremely bad about giving money to the family coz i see her spending lavishly while i save up for the family' s finances. Because of this, I' ve had several conversations with hubby. He however has always asked me to ignore these issues , but contines to take money from me. I am just not able to say \" no\" . The other day SIL again spent on MIL' s birthday gift.The very same morning hubby had asked for my salary coz there were some liabilities to be cleared off. When I told hubby that the expensive gift was not required to be given since we are having so much of financila troubles, he just got violent. He shouted at me & callde in my in-laws. Complained that I am always nagging & speaking ill of SIL. & that I have made his life hell. He already has so many problems & he cannot find solace in his room coz I am complaining always abt his family. Its been now 5 days & he has not spoken to me since. He says he does not want to talk to me.
I feel like such a fool. Even after doing so much for the family for 5 years, I am in this situation. Tensions are too high & i am really stressed out. I tried the first couple of days after the fight to speak to him but he is absolutely not willing to listen.........what shud I do? I have thoughts of separating & divorce!! Sould we go into therapy?
feel that he has no respect left for me now. He took a matter of the bedroom out to his family. I don' t know if I can forgive him!! r replied. Hey dnt worry, just relax... i know wat it feels like to be humiliated front of family members... i had to face the same situation, my husband physically abused me in front of his family... thought thing are back to normal and he completely change, buys me lods of gifts and spoils me.... but i still cant forget that day in my life.. my husband regrets that day every time and feels guilty ab it.

End of the day no matter wat happens bedroom stuff should always stay in there...

I would advise you to take couple of days off work and go to your parents plc along with you son, it would also gives you and your husband enough space to think abt your situation... and also have a clear chat with your husband about how you would want to spend your salary... you need to put your foot down, if you really want to get out of this things.

You could also buy few policies for you or invest on your son' s future.. do some kind of investment that keeps a tab on you salary and could always say you have to pay for them… its very expensive for kids education in India in case you want your kid to go to big schools and all…….. invest in his future take education policies on him.

Thanks