Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi.... I have just started reading these articles that people are posting from everywhere in the world. I am from US, and I am almost a newly wed... Been 1 1/2 years for marriage. My husband is the most awesome guy I have ever met, he loves me alot, more then I can imagine, but my problem is my inlaws. They live with me, not only them my b-i-l and my s-i-l live with us also. I am fed up with them, my husband does not understand that we need our privacy and our independence. I am 23 years old, and I am stressed out to a level I can imagine. I think I can loose my head because of them. My inlaw are nice to me, but I need to live alone with him. I hate walking home to a mess, they are messy. I hate walking home to loudness.... I work really hard, I am a banker, and I also take care of the house, and also my personal stuff as they gym and ect. My husband is very patient with me, but I dont want to live with his family. I think about this all the time. I mean all the time..... I dont want to hurt him but telling him to move out, cause he wont understand, actually he does not understand, cause I have tried. I am becoming very rude towards my M-I-L... I am not like that, I am a very nice person, but I cant stand her...shes very dramatic and very wanna be.... I am extremely simple... and she has a problem with my simplicity.... I gave up all my dreams for a wonderful life with my husband for them. I gave up all my dreams for decorating my house in a certain way for them. I mean I did at first b4 my mother in law started moving everything around, then I just gave up.... Now that I dont worry about any of the cleaning or whatsoever... my husband gives me TAnne... He knows that I love being a neat freak, he knows that I am a very clean person... But he gives me Tanne and it makes me mad....cause I think he kind of knows why I have given up. Noone at his house is appreciative... they are so self centered... which I have not raised to be.

My marriage was obviously a love marriage, and b4 marriage my husband told me we will live as a joint family, at that time I did not know this is what I was stepping into. For my age, I do alot. For God Saks... On weekends me and my husband are grocery shopping rather then hanging out. I rather live in a small apartment then live in a bigger place with his annoying family. So any of you guys have any answers for me???? shoniwa replied. -- sarabjot replied. hello,i live in us too im only 21 and my problem is somewhat similar to urs but the only difference is that my mil doesnt live with me shes in india she still makes my life miserable by talking to him on the phone and he is such a mamas boy that he listens to her and never tells her when shes wrong and a whole alot.... SL replied. Hi,
I really dont know wht to say. I am moving out of my husbands house this week with my child. problems were similar. My husbands sister lives with us and is of no help. His family is very messy...and I am a clean freak. We r in the US too. his parents were with us for a yr and we are just married over 2 yrs. i tried talking to him nicely and it never worked. now after m-i-l' s visit things got worse and i am forced to move out.
Anyways i wud suggest talk very sweetly to ur hubby and tell him ur problems. looks like u hv told him this already. please do not be rude to his mom. things wont get better but will get worse. u don' t hv to be nice to her...but don' t be rude. I know we r never taught to be rude to elders but being alone in a huge family who' s ways r poles apart from ours is difficult to manage. Can u try at looking for a job in a different city/ state? is tht an option for u both? or if u r so young why don' t u take up some course and start schooling in another state. again don' t ever tell him the reason for moving to another state. as u r a career oriented girl this extra degree will just help u. if thts not working then plan for vacations just with ur hubby. maybe go for stuff like skiing or something else tht u know the rest of the family won' t be interested in (with me nothing of this worked as everyone seemed to be interested in anything tht my husband did and wud follow us everywhere). take a break and visit ur parents at a regular interval. if u hv concerns about ur inlaws find friends to talk and laugh about it. don' t tell anything to ur husband as he wont do a thing about it.
and most importantly don' t hv a child till all ur issues r sorted. helppriya replied. It feels like I have written this post. Mine is exactly the same story except Hubby is the only child. U know what, your husband cannot be the most awesome man u know if he cannot understand u. it is not complex to know that after marriage every women wants a life of her own and not as per her inlaws want. Dont plan kids until u are satisfied with this relation otherwise ur life would be hell. I am going thru the same situation and wanting to run away from my house everyday. It doesnt feel like to go home after work. I too am in the US. Will pray for u. Thats the most I can say. as I am myself confused as to what to do. feels like getting separated!