Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have got some strange problem.I don't have good relation with my husband's family.even though I talk to them, casualy..I will end up hearing dum comments from them which I don't want to hear.I know some people we can't change or expect to change..but how to control myself?.my problem is I will be constantly thinking about thier comments or behavior, which I just want to ignore..but can not....it is affecting my life so much, I feel like I got addicted to worry about thier comments...I know I have to overcome this..I started to do my studies, still that didn't help much..Can anyone please tell me how to overcome this...thank you.... bin'there replied. I felt like replying to this even if it has been posted along time. I hope you read my comment and feel my heartfelt sympathy and encouragement.
It is not easy to ignore harsh, dumb and stupid comments especially if they come from your husband's family. Think of this as a challenge and make yourself get past it because only you can help yourself best. And you can try taking your husband into confidence and if that doesn't work ( because it doesn't believe me..I tried..but they don't have that sympathetic outlook especially if their family is involved), try finding a girl friend to talk about this stuff. This message board was a sound ideaIt is very cathartic to talk to someone; let it out of your system and move on!! YOu can do it !!!! sneha replied. hi puja,
I had typed such a big msg but it all vanished I hope this time it goes.
I think u should stop bothering about them.U have to be strong and dont let anyone hurt u.At times its necessary to answer them back to show them their right place at other times its best to keep quite.The more they see that they can creat havoc in ur life when ever they want the more they will do it.Its up to u to make ur life happy(they are there to make it misrable)Why should u let anyone do this to u.Be strong and firm.Be with frinds who boast ur moral do things that u enjoy.
Best of luck deepa replied. women have been far too submissive, for far too long. it's time to take a stand, for whatever its worth. dont go out of your way to be nice or to talk to people who only scorn you. just be civil to them, and dont bother spending too much time or wasting your life bothering about what they think about you. you're far better than they are - believe it. remember, life is too short. you should be out there doing what you want to do. take up a job. get a life separate from your family. build a network of friends so you dont have to mix with them at all. i'm not telling you to break off with your husband's family... accompany your husband to family gatherings and the like, but keep to yourself. build a routine in your life. that's very important. join a gym or a hobby class like painting, dance or singing.
Milli replied. Hi puja,
All of us face situations like yours where we get upset due to behavior of others. And we want that they should change their behavior towards us, but it cannot happen till they themselves want to do it. The only thing in our control is us, not anyone else. and we can continue to feel bad, or we can shake ourselves and say that what they are doing is their business, I can't continue to ruin my happiness because of others. It is in our hands to make that choice. And I hope you will choose to do the latter.
I am speaking this from experience, and i admit that it is hard to do initially. But if you are able to be in control of yourself one time, then you are motivated to be in control the next time also.
So try it out once, I'm sure you will feel better.