Relationships  Discussion Forum

hii
today i found out that i am pregnant
i already have a daughter and really dont want another daughter ,i dont know what to do .
i know u people will say nothing wrong jhaving 2 daughters but ask ur self would you want that happen to u (i am honest in my confession)
these days no one has 2 daughter it is just 2couples in 100 i thik all try some way to have another son aftyre one daughter
please tell me is ther any way i can know sex of the foetus before 12 weeks
please help me
mom of a boy replied. whats wrong in having 2 baby girls???
for christ sake...all i can say is grow up...
My mom has 2 daughters...and she says she is very happy that she has 2 girls

ur baby is most precious person for u
how wud ur daughter feel when she knows u post such a pathatic questions on this board. sneha replied. thanks every body for replying and taking time to read my problem
i know iam also a woman and it sounds redicolus to some of you that i want a son
but sometimes it takes experience in life to realise that
i have many friends who had to sacrifice their career and their hobbies ,likes dislikes ,behaviour just to please their in laws ...why because they are daughter inlaws
i wonder when my daughter will get married will the world chance for us indians
that is oneof the reasons i dont want daughter
one of my friend has 2 sisters and both got married to unfortunately very
conservative families ,now thay dont let them talk to their parents ,and only visit them once in 2-3 years
i really pity those parents ..am i selfish if i dobt want to be like them

one of my friend is a doctor and now she is sitting in home ,taking care of her mil, fil,sil,and her kids
she wants to give usmle but how after so much of work,and to keep every one happy
am i wrong if i dont want my kids life to be like that
one of my neighbour is from up her father had to sell their house to give dowry to her and her sisters and still her inlaws give her comments and dont treat her properly.
i know it depends upon luck also but y is it that daughters suffer in indian socites and parents can do nothing for them ,i dont want to be one among those parents
i have so many examples i just dont want my kids to suffer like that and me looking helpless at them and crying

i know whe=ther it is a daughter or son my husband will be happy and i will love both but till they get setteled i will have to live with the hope that they geyt good inlaws
we cannot ignore the fact that we are indian sand in 25 years our society will not change radically
Pavithra replied.
I wanted to add one more line in addition to these lines.

\";Yes I believe if you def do not want a girl,go ahead and abort the baby,its better to be not born than to live with the knowledge of \";not wanted feeling \"; throughout her life. ESPECIALLY FROM HER MOTHER.\";

Any child can withstand any probs from the outside world as long as she knows that her mother and father are there for support and love her a lot. Pavithra replied. If you had cared to read my comment carefully you would have seen where I have written very clearly stating,that \";it is alright if one wishes to have a boy.\";

I am not against having or wanting to have a boy,but just b'coz one's wish isn't fulfilled and gets a girl instead immediately wanting or the thought of even aborting the baby is cruel esp for women like me who haven't been able to have a baby even after 2 yrs of marriage.
You will never be able to understand that ever Priya,if you were in my shoes only then would you understand.


Secondly,if your doc has said that then if I were in your place I would have asked her what is the use of your education,I am sorry but I am like that.

Thirdly,nobody can or has the power to control the wishes of a person,you state that its b'coz of your in-laws that you want a girl,and that everybody lives to please our in-laws,once again,I have had worst case of in-law problems,I single handedly fought them tooth and nail,this after I could not tolerate their harassment,and inspite of that I have emerged successful.I want a girl they know it too but I don't care.So do my friends who have in-law probs , they have a girl child too and they also told their in-laws to get lost.
So you wanting a boy or a girl does not depend on your in-laws.

You cannot blame everything on your in-laws,thats the easiest thing to do.Do you feel in anyway that your parents esp your mother didn't go thru the in-law turmoil at all,on the contrary they lived in the era of dowry deaths which have come down in today's world considerably,my mother faced the same problem worse than mine,and yet she told her mil to get lost when my mommy had me.Even my father told his relatives and folks to get lost.
My aunt has 2 daughters,her hubby told her to abort the second baby since she was a baby girl,my aunt told him whether he wants or not she is going to have the baby,and today the second baby is his lifeline.

You know what all I wanted to put forth ,there are going to be countless of jerks esp of Indian origin even doctors (whether they are in U.S or not) in this world who are going to comment lots of stupid stuff ,but if you agree with them they win and you lose and also defeat the whole purpose of any form of hope for any girl child ever.

Yes I believe if you def do not want a girl,go ahead and abort the baby,its better to be not born than to live with the knowledge of \";not wanted feeling \"; throughout her life.

And i have to say that being an educated woman it comes as a surprise once again.

I'll want a baby girl def,and I would def want her to stand up for herself,the way my mother and my aunts have taught me.

One more thing,my mil has 3 sons,she always wanted a girl,she also had lots and lots of fil issues,yet her want for a girl child never went away,she has done lots of hurtful things to me which I will carry for a lifetime but I know if she comes in my way of having a girl child what I would do.

Bring up your girls with a feeling of self worth and dignity.All the best. Pavithra replied. I am sorry but it was meant for Sneha and not you .Sorry for that. Ravindran replied. Hi Sneha,
Pardon me for stating this . You must be lucky to have such a wonderful kid as I have a sister who has been married for five yrs and still waitng for a kid. Boy or girl just take it as a gift from God.
To Dear Priya, You are such a wonderful Adviser/Counsellor. Pls keep on writting.It is nice to have more people like you.
Best of Luck to All of you.
Pavithra replied. Priya!!!!

There are lots of people who yearn to have a baby,I am one of them.Its sad and very disheartening to see you being sad about having a baby esp if that happens to be a girl.

No I definitely cannot understand your plight,its sickening.

I have been waiting for 2 yrs just to have my baby.Every month.

Its not wrong to want a son.But being a woman yourself and that too an educated one this comes as a surprise.

I too have in-law probs its a universal phenomenon.But YES I am ready to have as many daughters as possible.

I am disappointed in this post totally. sneha replied. pryia it is pale yellow shimon replied. hi sneha
first of all let me congratulate u for the miracle of life within you. it is completely uderstandable that you feel apprehensive abt the gender of your baby...for a second born, not many people will want a daughter if they already have a daughter....
not hat it matters in the long run...i too am a daughter and i do not think i have given my parents any less joy that my brother has....
i have heard of a chinese calendar which can fortell the gender of the baby based on the age of the mother and the month of conception....i personally have used it to fortell the gender of many of my nephews and frinens' children. in all but one cases, it has been right. i will give you the link to the calendar and u can use it to see wat is in store for u ...

www dot holodeck dot com/pregnancy/chinese-cal dot html

best of luck :)

hi replied. dear sneha

i totally understand u dear. what u r thinking is not wrong. after a girl we may think it is good to have a boy next. but that doesn't mean we want only a boy.

also in ur case it may be baby boy. so don't be sad dear.
if it is a girl why being sad. it is UR BABY. no matter girl or boy, he/she is YOUR child. so don't be depressed. WHEN WE GET PREGNENT IN NO WAY WE CAN MAKE SURE IT'LL BE BOY.

so think dear u r pregnent now. we cannot predetermine the sex of the child . no matter the sex, u r responsible for that child. the little one s looking towards u. the little one in ur womb is URS. SO BE HAPPY FOR HIM/HER.
DEAR SNEHA, PLEASE DON'T BE SAD TODAY, WILL U BE SAD SEEING UR DAUGHTER NOW, LOOK AT HER FACE.
HOW CAN U BE SAD KNOWING A LILLE ONE IS FORMED INSIDE U, JUST LKE UR DAUGHTER WHO IS UR LIFE NOWL.

so , be happy, let ur little one in ur womb feel ur happines. no matter what, t is ur child. feel happy for t.

TWO GIRLS ARE NOT A BAD THING. IT IS GREAT.

priya replied. Plz forgive her/me any 2daughters mom reading this .

Hi Sneha,
I can know how u feel.And I too avoid from becoming pregnant for the same cause.I have one daughter and badly need a son too ,though we love her most.Because I have some in-laws related problems to wish for a son too.

I know many of the readers find it crazy and feel shame on us to feel like this...But there is no wrong in wishing sd.After all we r trying to equalise genders and this is not first pregnancy to feel so.

Just observe many of the moms here mention they have one baby and that is daughter .Are they worrying like us? If not,then we shd stop thinking.Well ,if they r too worrying like us... ok, we r not alone to feel same.

By seeing moms of 1st son,I feel they r lucky and can easily plan 2nd pregnancy soon.But I need another sibbling for my daughter but am worried what if again turns to be girl...?! Because my MIL will definitely make it weak point against me that my SIL had 2boys.My hubby is kind of old generation and elieves boy only can lead us in our old age.So these all making me to think this MEAN ...I know it's MEAN. So,I too need soem courage or suggestions to conceive again. My hubby doesnt want to have another.But for my daughter's sake i need one more.


Dont worry for that ,dear! Who's in store for us will be born. And ultimately they make us happy and proud parents.SO keep n'joying ur pregnancy and pl update me whom u have after 5th month.

I can tell u one sign...how is ur urine color? is it pale yellow or dark yellow?


console replied. What you are thinking is totally wrong.even if it is a girl you dont have any right to do do any harm to her.give your kids good health,education and self confidence.they will grow up to be fine women in the future.who knows what future holds?just have a healthy pregnancy and happy and health baby.everything else will be fine.
take care.