Relationships  Discussion Forum

what r u saying?
unhealthy rivalry....anyways she was going on maternity leave ...n my dear it doesnt make any difference to her...coz she si very well educated professionl...she doesnt hv to search for a job ..jobs will come to her...she got fired coz of my mil ..n bil on ly...her very own husband is behind that ...n mind u that moment of time i felt bad..coz i am also human being..n misunderstanding do happen in any realtionships..same thing hppnd btwn us...mind u no matter what i am the only shoulder for her at my place..otherwise no noe even talk to her properly...
n pls go thru my msg again i was telling all of u ..i was making comparison of what i went thru my preganncy n what she has to go thru...imagine urself in my situation wont u compare ursefl with ur sil...i had come across one girl few days b4 on this board..her mil was scared of her sil..but at the same time she use to torture this girl...
n as far as mil is concerned even if u wud have been at my place today u wud hv felt bad looking at her condition ...coz she has literally become one maid ....
my sil is taking revenge..its a very long story...i know i shouldnt interfere between them ..but still since it was disturbing me somehwere i discussed with all of u ...n i had not posted my msg from a long time that is y....

nomatter what she did with me...she will answer to god one day ..n i think she is doing that ...
but as a human being i am feeling bad for her..coz i know my sil doesnt hv any prob ...coz i am friendly with her...n she has told me that she will harass her so much that one day she will tell me to seperate...
in a way she is absolutely right..coz if she doesnt make her house right now ...she will never be able to do it later in her life...but i wud say..dont harass one person like this...i know one thing dont bring tears in someone eyes like this...
my mil did same thing with me with her sil' s...with her mil..today my sil is doing the same thing with her...
i still say its worng...to harass some1 so much...

by theway...
i have move d out of the house...we are still cooking together ...but to sleep i go somewhere else...its again a rented one ...but i have managed to do it...coz my my sil only...
all of a sudden she said she wants to live in my bedroom...my bedrrom was a better one...first i said no...then my mil started fighting with me a lot...i lost my temper...n i moved out..
after moving out my hubsnabd n i have started liking it...at first we were not happy...coz htere is no furnituer where we go to sleep...we have to slep on floor wiht my baby...but believe me ...ther is so much of privacy there...no knocks at hte door...no disturbance..nothing ...we hv peaceful life...
lets see what happens now...
but imagine my own house n i had to leave...
50 what happende was good...50 it was bad coz after all its my house ...n i left it...

i hope my husband now realises his what kind of people are in his family...n decides to buy a ouse...
but i wont let hm buy soon....i hope my judgement is right...n everything falls on right track....
my mil was later very upset about me going somehwere else...coz of house work ..by the time i come home to cook ...its time for me to leave soon...we hardly interact...but i m very happy...atleast i am away from all those unhealthy fights... Dd replied. Hi,
sorry to hear about the way u had to move out. I know how much it hurts. Believe me u will feel much better with time. as u already have started realising how much privacy u can get & how your life will be more peaceful. so hang in there & concentrate on your family(hubby & kid). about the furniture part don' t worry. you will get all materialistic things later in life but at present peace is more important. just a curiosity was the bedroom furniture in your house was bought by u at the time of marriage or it was there from the before. when we left hose my mil was telling us to take lots of things from house but we got only my bed(which was given to us by my parents at the weeding & the wardrobe which we had bought from my money. there were lots of other thing like big fridge & washing machine(which we had purchased just last year from my money, but we left it there bcs mil is old & shewil have problem when maid does not come. we don' t regret it. about kitchen appliances & utencils, my dh said not take anything from her but he bought me all new. bcs they(mil-sil) have this tendancy to say that they gave this & that when we have arguments. i ahve written about this before so i don' t want to reapet it all.
but just was telling u some things to help u. best of luck. sss replied. hi gg,
you dont need to be sorry for late reply as you have already replied that post.and i have written another note saying that i understand you.and now the last post for the thread was from Ritika.so i dont understand your sudden anger and this reply.
anyway i am sorry to tell you that i am very unhappy with the way you used words.
anyway its your life and its your problem.i am sorry to interfere and upset you,if i did.my intension was never bad.i felt i should reply you with my genuine feeling and i was wrong.
sss suhani replied. hi gg,
in a way i can feel, why did you react to sss' s comment. Because staying in a condition like you stayed, where you are never admired, cared or even considered a human, brings lots of impatience and unstatisfaction in life. We just want to have peace at any cost and all the time our mind keeps on revovling over this issue. when a girl gets married, she has dreams that she will be living a life of her own, where her family considers her as important as any other person in the family. But what she faces is in-law' s(especially mother-in-law' s) criticism all the time because MIL is scared that if DIL gets importance in home, she will not have then. she tries to force her rules(how to sit, eat, where to go etc.. etc..)on DIL and here where friction comes. somes DIL' s revolve, some succumb to pressure and keep on cribbing about how their life is and what they wanted it to be. This i am saying for any sensible DIL who knows what' s right or wrong to do for the family.

let me give you an example. i have a friend, she did not know any work before marriage and her MIL also knew this. so instead of putting all the pressure on DIL, she told her to just stand and help her in doing household chores so that she learns to handle home even if nobody is at home. and DIL too was keen on this, so with this mutual understanding, DIL now has learnt and MIL too is happy. the key is to first make a DIL comfortable at home after marriage and DIl should also be keen to make relations with MIL. but still these things are never cared for and all the same situations at homes go again and again...

Funnily, i was saying to my hubby, before marriage we should have a questionniere before marriage, what a DIL can do, can not do, whats expected , and how much time span can be given to her for holding responsibilities. by doing this any sensible family and DIL will be having the best of thier lives after marriage.

i also go through these phases where i am cribbing about my MIL and she is cribbing about me. But now in my life i have decided, if she thinks i am bad and tries to prove that i am bad, let her do this. i am independent, educated and i know my responsibilities for family, so even if it will take more time for me to get happy atmosphere i will do it. gg replied. in a way its gud she is harassing my mil...coz mymil had fought with me saying that y dont u let her stay in ur bedroom...see her condition...now when she cries b4 me cribbing about the work she does at home..i say in my mind the same thing..now u see her condition n do her work ...am i wrong?

i am fed up now with al this ...first of all i dont have time ..i am busy at work whn i am in off...when i am at home i am busy with house work...all the time i keep thinking how to make myself free for my husband n daughter..over here this people mess up with my mental peace...i lost all my pateicne n moved out...believem u all are right staying seperate is hte best wayout...too keep ur realtion with ur in alws healthy...
u know my daughter has come so close to both my husband n me...now when we go home she runs towards us...

rest all is ok...i am ok...going on...with life..i dont knwo how many more changes i have to face