Relationships  Discussion Forum

I saw your message today and my situation is no different. Don't lose hope, your husband will change someday. After 3 years of my marriage i could find some changes with husband. After our marriage, he never bought a gift for me till now. He has been taking care of his parents and sil. I never complained about that to him, i never demanded him for some gifts to me. I am also working and i give all the money to him, i never could spend a single penny for my family. When i am remaining quiet his parents and sister have been asking for his attention continuously. Now he became too busy with his work that their demands started irriating him. He has started trusting me now.
So don't expect anything from your husband for some years. He will automatically realize the truth. Anyway we are the ones who are going to be with our husbands throughout their life. Financially tough situations can also come. It came to us and at that time i gave him my full support whereas his parents and sister were complaining. These things will surely make our husbands to realize the truth.
My mil also does this partiality. We send money to her, she buys so much gifts for my sil but not for us. I don't think my husband knows about this. She and my sil both lie to him. She constantly complains about my family and sil is even now fighting with me. Whenever i think of talking to them over phone, i am really scared. But i have to do it, what to do? I started accepting it, if my husband changes that is enough. I cannot change everybody. May be i am not lucky to get good in-laws.
We need to realize the reality, accept it and act accordingly. It is true our situation is not good now, fighting with our husbands cannot help. So what next?! Atleast we are working which is a good diversion and you have a kid who will love you unconditionally. Be happy with it for now.
I am a strong believer of God. May be we did some sin in our previous birth that we got into such a family. Or may be we got the boon from God for praying to him all the time, because unless we have worries we will not think of God. If husband doesn't love us, God is there for us and HE will surely take care of us. Don't lose hope. dying wife replied. Hi Su ,Thanks for soothing me.My hubby is really loving to me but even now he said me sorry indirectly for getting aroused that day.But it irritates me Y shd he be that partial and alway y shd he suspect me in everyword I talk 'bout them. It hurts me badly when he says I speak very sweet and all that is my action and all I have is bad cunning feelings 'bout them ...But thAt is wrong I accept them as they r .All I tell him is \";dont believe in what u hear but believe what u c\"; And as he is not being judgemental after hearing everybody.I tell him alot many times.In ur family u r at fault and ur parents r normal like anyone's ...I never complain much as they do with my family.They do everything in my absence and in my presence they acct sweet too.But thats enough for me .I am not expecting any gifts but I want them to be dignified in my absence too.And I beg him to not to listen to complaints ewither side...No,dear Su,I tried keeping quite while he buy stuff for thewm.But it didnt work.Only shouting did work a little. Because after all we r so keen 'bout savings and don't buy a small thing for him self or myself without thinking many times.Then how come I be quite when he buys only for them?? he realise himself but doesnt want to become leniant to me.He still feel I'm outsider ...SO he doesnt want me to knoww that he is under pressure.Thasy y he is covering with a coating his love towards them.I know he love me more than he love them.But he never wants to expose it which makes them leniant.

In your other message ,next to this,One sentence
\";When i get what they missed, i am advised not to take it. When i don't get what they have, i am called as unlucky\";
has impressed me very much.Because it's general funda mil does. My MIL feels me Lucky and if she want something she want me to wish for thaT...bUT SHE NEVER EXPRESS IT.Actually my hubby&MIL r so keen in observing little things impacts luck and unluck and she somehow got the feel \";I'm lucky\"; . but always tries to cover that matters from coming to son's notice.Becayse her son(my hubby) only believes inn whtat she says rather than what he see\"; .These r really silly matters to discuss...But want to share some minude things which I cant tell anyone.

Anyways, SU,Probably we all r sailing in similar boats in many aspects.
Let the males read thisboard know what we feel...Ad understand their wives well..

In this generation ,may of DILS dream of Ideal families but never attempt to separate them. ALl they want is just getting that trusted by hubby (at least hubby) . If In-laws r litle good to us,we can do anthing for them.At the same time , If they try to affect son&Dil's relation with their interference, we can't tolerate and someday we too will be vexed up in being nice .

Ok, dear su,let's pray for each other ...keep posting dear!