I dont have parents lost them few years back I have 1.5 old daughter and my husband is looking after her. Faced lot of pbs from the day one of the wedding but yet living with him bcos I dont want my baby to miss parental love. He fights with me always. He is fair and ok looking where as me is dark ,fat and good looking. He says I dont look good and the only reason he married me is bcos I dont have parents as he also dont have. I am earning and work in IT company ,he sits at home always with his cell. He says i dont look after my baby,he decided to leave bcos he was sure our life would not go with his salary. he says i cant drive car and am not good looking and all.I am vvv confident girl but yet when he says all this i feel down to earth and he never supports me anyways. I cant divorce him also as nobody will be there look after my baby. I know wise thing would be stay with him whatever the hell he does and then go away when my baby is independent and manage herself.
Friends what do u say abt it. He likes baby and even she loves me vv much. I am short tempered and sometimes hit my baby for which she cries lot.There is no doubt if at all i am living its only for my baby and nobody else in the world.When she dont eat or drink i hit her badly then after sometime i myself will cry infront of her like a small baby. I know i should be able to control my anger,but after a tiring day i get really irritated if my baby desnies eating or drinking.plssss plsssss help me what shd i do..sometimes i feel i shd die,when i think abt my baby i feel i am responsible for her and i need to look after her well..sometimesi get bugged so much i feel there r so many kids wilthout mother and she will be one of them..
friends plss plssssss help!!
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Friends,
I dont have parents lost them few years back I have 1.5 old daughter and my husband is looking after her. Faced lot of pbs from the day one of the wedding but yet living with him bcos I dont want my baby to miss parental love. He fights with me always. He is fair and ok looking where as me is dark ,fat and good looking. He says I dont look good and the only reason he married me is bcos I dont have parents as he also dont have. I am earning and work in IT company ,he sits at home always with his cell. He says i dont look after my baby,he decided to leave bcos he was sure our life would not go with his salary. he says i cant drive car and am not good looking and all.I am vvv confident girl but yet when he says all this i feel down to earth and he never supports me anyways. I cant divorce him also as nobody will be there look after my baby. I know wise thing would be stay with him whatever the hell he does and then go away when my baby is independent and manage herself.
Friends what do u say abt it. He likes baby and even she loves me vv much. I am short tempered and sometimes hit my baby for which she cries lot.There is no doubt if at all i am living its only for my baby and nobody else in the world.When she dont eat or drink i hit her badly then after sometime i myself will cry infront of her like a small baby. I know i should be able to control my anger,but after a tiring day i get really irritated if my baby desnies eating or drinking.plssss plsssss help me what shd i do..sometimes i feel i shd die,when i think abt my baby i feel i am responsible for her and i need to look after her well..sometimesi get bugged so much i feel there r so many kids wilthout mother and she will be one of them..
friends plss plssssss help!!
Preeti replied. Hi,
I'm sorry to hear your husband treats you that way. You seem like a smart woman...please dont take your anger out on the baby...its helpless. If you feel angry...go for a walk...a long walk. Cool down. Whats happening is that your not angry at the baby..but at your husband because he puts you down and on top of that hes not helping financially in the house. Did ever think maybe hes puts you down because deep down in his heart..he doesn't feel good about himself? Well it happens. If hes not taking care of the baby probably..then he should work too. Let someone professional take care of the baby while you are both at work. At least when you come home after work you will have peace of mind that the baby had food and proper care. Its hard to do everything alone especially in North America. This will give you time maybe to do nice things for yourself. You can look good...I just need alittle time for yourself.
An replied. Hi ! Have been thinking about ur problem and was wondering how u've been doing.
Why did ur husband quit his job ? You know , in general, men really can't look after babies as well as mother's can. Not that you shud have left ur job, but why didn't you go for a creche / day care service ? I left my job once I had my baby. But sometimes I too get frustrated with looking after the child all day long and trying to match up to his energy levels. Have you tried to see things from ur husband's point of view. Maybe he is taking out his frustrations on you by being mean and bad mouthing you ? He may miss being economically independent and trying to feed the baby all day long and keeping her entertained needs a lot of patience, which men do not really possess (in general).
Why don't you have a heart to hear conversation with your husband ... what his wants are, what his goals are, what does he want in life and all that. Then tell him about yours and try to find a middle path. I really suggest that ur husband shud get a job and you shud look for a good day care service. that way the most important relationship - ur marriage , may just become more meaningful !
All the best !
zen replied. hi,
don't worry.gather yourself and think for a moment..everyone is unique..the way you are doing a job and looking like is yours...no one can duplicate 100%.every being is special.
each being is a diamond within,but it doesn't know that. Will you give a coat of painting to a diamond to make it showy.Not at all.
Some people don't realise what they have in their possession like your husb.you make a good earning and also u r smarter to work in IT. don't care about the phy.appearance, it may be nothing in a sudden accident or something.
what u have is unique and special
have a great day
live this moment, be happy
thanks an replied. An thanks a lot i will definitely try to be patient atleast with my little angel..thanks a ton for ur wonderful message
An replied. Hi ! Don't think u r alone in this world ... u have a baby ...the most wonderful companion anyone can have ! I have a two yr old son and I can understand your frustration if the child doesn't eat or drink. But do try to control ur temper. Distract the child with toys or TV ... sometimes it may take lot of switching channels or lot of toys, but be patient and try feeding something that the baby seems to like.
And don't think u r not good-looking. All of us are as attractive as we feel. So just be positive and try to be happy in front of the child so that positive energy is passed on. I know that is easier said than done, but do try to think of all the naughty sweet things ur baby does and how wonderful it is to have someone who really needs us and loves us unconditionally ... this shud make u smile and feel that life is indeed worth living.
Take care and have faith in god !
gun replied. hey,
u told that ur husband looks after ur baby. doesn't he go on his work? anyway thinking of suicide or devorce is never an idea that wud work in end-up any of the problems. that wud make the things worst to ur baby.
try something positive. if affordable why dont u keep a babysitter for ur baby. when u come back to home go out with ur baby nd hv some fun. make some lokal friends nd let ur baby play with them. create ur own social circle. on weekends call ur frinds at home. if ur husband does enjoy ur friends welcome him nd if not dont get disturb just show him that u r not alone and also feel the same in urself. so now the time to let him feel alone.
and yes more importantly dont hit ur baby in frustation coz she doesn't know why u r beating her and she may develop some wrong ideas abt u.
so try something in positive way dear nd u will surely get the things coming back to u.
may god be with u.
Alone! replied. Anju tons and tons of thanks for your kind words. But yet feel what the pleasure he gets by hurting me.I cook for them and whatever i earn i am spending on them. I am vvv confident of doing anything in the world ,look very very tough externally but from in I am like my baby.
Thx a lot Anju..
Anju replied. Hey,
Don't be so depressed. Cheer up. You are not the only one with the same problem. I feel exactly the same when I am back from work. My husband is in Kerala. He is neither bothered about me nor my son. He does not even call me.
It was difficult for me, not anymore because I got a wonderful boyfriend, His name is Jesus Christ.
Don't think of the extremnes like divorce and suicide. Its not for you dear. You are a succesful lady working inthe fastest growing sector. Be proud of yourself. I know u r goodlooking, but ur hubby's egos are not letting him agree that coz, he is tryting to justify that he is smarter than u. Its just coz he is not sure.
So don't worry and if u feel like talking call me 9880566841.
I work as an IELTS trainer. I used to feel exactly like u, not anymore. But I am still struggling to come out of anger, every day while going home I take a resolution that I will not hit my child. It helps sometimes.
God Bless U,
Anju
2006-06-04
#1
Name: Preeti Subject: Dont Let Anyone Put You Down
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear your husband treats you that way. You seem like a smart woman...please dont take your anger out on the baby...its helpless. If you feel angry...go for a walk...a long walk. Cool down. Whats happening is that your not angry at the baby..but at your husband because he puts you down and on top of that hes not helping financially in the house. Did ever think maybe hes puts you down because deep down in his heart..he doesn't feel good about himself? Well it happens. If hes not taking care of the baby probably..then he should work too. Let someone professional take care of the baby while you are both at work. At least when you come home after work you will have peace of mind that the baby had food and proper care. Its hard to do everything alone especially in North America. This will give you time maybe to do nice things for yourself. You can look good...I just need alittle time for yourself.
2006-06-05
#2
Name: aln Subject: Thanks Preethi!!
Preethi,
Thanks for such a sweet message. He looks after baby very well ,thats not a pbs..and my baby also loves him a lot as he is with her. The only problem is he discourages me,says words which really hurts me. I stay at India and here you can never depend on any maid there lies the problem.
Thanks again
2006-05-22
#3
Name: An Subject: Worried abt u
Hi ! Have been thinking about ur problem and was wondering how u've been doing.
Why did ur husband quit his job ? You know , in general, men really can't look after babies as well as mother's can. Not that you shud have left ur job, but why didn't you go for a creche / day care service ? I left my job once I had my baby. But sometimes I too get frustrated with looking after the child all day long and trying to match up to his energy levels. Have you tried to see things from ur husband's point of view. Maybe he is taking out his frustrations on you by being mean and bad mouthing you ? He may miss being economically independent and trying to feed the baby all day long and keeping her entertained needs a lot of patience, which men do not really possess (in general).
Why don't you have a heart to hear conversation with your husband ... what his wants are, what his goals are, what does he want in life and all that. Then tell him about yours and try to find a middle path. I really suggest that ur husband shud get a job and you shud look for a good day care service. that way the most important relationship - ur marriage , may just become more meaningful !
All the best !
2006-05-24
#4
Name: An Subject: Hi
Hi ! I can understand the pressure of repaying loans as almost all of us are going thru the same thing. I have friends who are in the same boat, the wife earning more than the husband, but isn't two earnings better than one, no matter how small ? They employed a maid thru employment agency and touch wood she is doing well. But I do agree with you that after hearing horrendous stories about maids, any parent wud much rather be at home (which is precisely why I left my job! I was also earning well, equal to my spouse's so there wasn't much difficulty in deciding to take a break). Anyways, my point is its better your husband gets a job at the earliest , 'coz more the delay the more difficult it will be to return at the same position; and believe me after some time both you and your husband will wish that he had a job .... marriages really suffer when the man does not have a job - I've seen friends going thru this stage and its horrible !
In this day of competition, most good day care centres take extra effort to provide good care. In this forum someone mentioned what one must look for in maids / day care centre. Try and look for that. I will too and will let you know when I come across that msg. But seriously, do think aboutr changing the situation at home before it gets worse. All the best and take care
2006-05-23
#5
Name: alone Subject: An thanks
An as I had already mentioned in the mail I was earning more then him and we have home loan which is huge in order to lead a proper life I had to continue and no doubt I get angry on her.But he looks after her very well if it was not definitely i would have resigned.I am scared of day care ,donno how they will look after small babies right. If u know pls can u give me more info about it.
2006-05-16
#6
Name: zen Subject: U R UNIQUE AND SPECIAL
hi,
don't worry.gather yourself and think for a moment..everyone is unique..the way you are doing a job and looking like is yours...no one can duplicate 100%.every being is special.
each being is a diamond within,but it doesn't know that. Will you give a coat of painting to a diamond to make it showy.Not at all.
Some people don't realise what they have in their possession like your husb.you make a good earning and also u r smarter to work in IT. don't care about the phy.appearance, it may be nothing in a sudden accident or something.
what u have is unique and special
have a great day
live this moment, be happy
2006-05-16
#7
Name: thanks an Subject: thank u
An thanks a lot i will definitely try to be patient atleast with my little angel..thanks a ton for ur wonderful message
2006-05-16
#8
Name: An Subject: Try to be patient
Hi ! Don't think u r alone in this world ... u have a baby ...the most wonderful companion anyone can have ! I have a two yr old son and I can understand your frustration if the child doesn't eat or drink. But do try to control ur temper. Distract the child with toys or TV ... sometimes it may take lot of switching channels or lot of toys, but be patient and try feeding something that the baby seems to like.
And don't think u r not good-looking. All of us are as attractive as we feel. So just be positive and try to be happy in front of the child so that positive energy is passed on. I know that is easier said than done, but do try to think of all the naughty sweet things ur baby does and how wonderful it is to have someone who really needs us and loves us unconditionally ... this shud make u smile and feel that life is indeed worth living.
Take care and have faith in god !
2006-05-16
#9
Name: gun Subject: don't go the wrong way
hey,
u told that ur husband looks after ur baby. doesn't he go on his work? anyway thinking of suicide or devorce is never an idea that wud work in end-up any of the problems. that wud make the things worst to ur baby.
try something positive. if affordable why dont u keep a babysitter for ur baby. when u come back to home go out with ur baby nd hv some fun. make some lokal friends nd let ur baby play with them. create ur own social circle. on weekends call ur frinds at home. if ur husband does enjoy ur friends welcome him nd if not dont get disturb just show him that u r not alone and also feel the same in urself. so now the time to let him feel alone.
and yes more importantly dont hit ur baby in frustation coz she doesn't know why u r beating her and she may develop some wrong ideas abt u.
so try something in positive way dear nd u will surely get the things coming back to u.
may god be with u.
2006-05-16
#10
Name: alone Subject: thanks gun!
gun,my husband quit his job and started business as both of us dont have parents..i dont like baby to be looked after maid,i have seen so many sites and heard from so many the maids usually dont look after baby well..actually i was ready to quit my job and look after baby at home..but he quit as i was earning more then him.
ur rite i know baby may get wrong impression abt me..i know i love her but she doesnt..she is vvvvv naughty ,doesnt eat or drink..that makes me lose my temper ,am sure will avoid hitting her..
2006-05-16
#11
Name: Alone! Subject: yet feel not complete
Anju tons and tons of thanks for your kind words. But yet feel what the pleasure he gets by hurting me.I cook for them and whatever i earn i am spending on them. I am vvv confident of doing anything in the world ,look very very tough externally but from in I am like my baby.
Thx a lot Anju..
2006-05-16
#12
Name: Anju Subject: You are lovely
Hey,
Don't be so depressed. Cheer up. You are not the only one with the same problem. I feel exactly the same when I am back from work. My husband is in Kerala. He is neither bothered about me nor my son. He does not even call me.
It was difficult for me, not anymore because I got a wonderful boyfriend, His name is Jesus Christ.
Don't think of the extremnes like divorce and suicide. Its not for you dear. You are a succesful lady working inthe fastest growing sector. Be proud of yourself. I know u r goodlooking, but ur hubby's egos are not letting him agree that coz, he is tryting to justify that he is smarter than u. Its just coz he is not sure.
So don't worry and if u feel like talking call me 9880566841.
I work as an IELTS trainer. I used to feel exactly like u, not anymore. But I am still struggling to come out of anger, every day while going home I take a resolution that I will not hit my child. It helps sometimes.
God Bless U,
Anju
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Dont Let Anyone Put You Down
Name: aln
Thanks Preethi!!
Worried abt u
An thanks
thank u
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